Lesbians, nature, books & cake

Brian Haberlin (American, born 1963)

Pygmalion, 2025

Watercolor on paper

21 × 14 in (53.3 × 35.6 cm)

[mysterious circle of robed figures] JK Rowling: hello children Rowling: finally my evil plan reachesss fruition Rowling: it'ss taken me yearss of careful planning but finally Rowling: finally!!! Rowling: finally we can defeat the sscourge of human rightsss

Rowling: firssst of all i'm not jusst going to sssue amnesty international for money Rowling: i alsso want an apology Kathleen Stock: a just request, dark lord Julie Bindel: no one has been more wronged than you, dark lord Maya Forstater: careful, dark lord! the other viziers plot against you

Rowling: i want you to find the guy who runs amnesssty international Rowling: mr amnessty or whatever hiss name isss Rowling: and bring him here Stock: i don't think its run by a guy called mr amnesty, dark lord Rowling: whatever, you know i don't keep up with thiss human rightsss sstuff

Rowling: i want to ssee amnessty destroyed Rowling: i want to ssee all the human rightss people humiliated, groveling in the mud Rowling: begging for my forgivenesss Rowling: right before the boot comess down on their throat Rowling: i am a beloved national treassssure and i demand my due!

Amnesty: the gender critical movement is fundamentally an anti-human rights movement Rowling: how dare you!!! don't you know how much money i have? Amnesty: Sorry. Im sorry. Im trying to remove it.

Rowling: finally, i will have my revenge! Rowling: you don't remember me do you, amnesty? Amnesty: uh Amnesty: of course i know you, you're JK Rowling, the famous transphobe Rowling: that's not all Rowling: look closer Amnesty: wait Amnesty: wait no Amnesty: it can't be!

Amnesty: you're that junior clerk temp receptionist apprentice part timer that we fired for writing fan fic on the clock! Rowling: HA HA HA YESSSS Rowling: AND I'M BACK! Stock, Bindel et al: She's back! Rowling: and I'm on the prowl Rowling: revenge would taste sso ssweet right now!

[many many years ago] Rowling: [writing] the best kind of wizard is a boy wizard Amnesty Supervisor: joanne do you have that memo about african genocide i asked for Rowling: not yet AS: ok well i need it soon AS: there's a bunch of genocides we need to deal with AS: i mean we're real behind on that

AS: look, i'm afraid we're going to have to let you go Rowling: WHAT!? AS: it's just that i don't believe that you're really taking these genocides seriously AS: since you started working here, we've become really backed up on genocides AS: like, we're never supposed to have this many happening

Rowling: you can't fire me! AS: we'll have some amnesty goons escort you to the door Rowling: jusst you wait! i might jusst be sssome nobody now, but sssomeday i'll be a beloved national treasure! Rowling: like jonathan king or jimmy sssavile!! Rowling: then you'll be sssssorry!!!