Queen of the Fuckwits

One time when I was a kid, I had a science teacher with a snake as a class pet, and said snake was almost done shedding. There was one little bit of dried skin stuck to its face and I was like, “would it hurt him if I pulled that off?” And the teacher said, “yes it actually could, it’s probably still attached to living skin if it hasn’t come off yet” and I was like “oh, sorry,” and he said, “that’s okay, you were just wanting to do the primate thing.” And damn, that’s such an accurate descriptor.

Yet, my brother & stepfather—despite me doing this all the 20 some years I’ve known them & been doing this—still haven’t learned the trick. Just something I’ve noticed largely plays out, & reading that the urge to pick things off each other is a primate thing, I honestly think this is a variation of that same urge, & I don’t really get why girls tend to get the trick & boys don’t.

One time when I was a kid, I had a science teacher with a snake as a class pet, and said snake was almost done shedding. There was one little bit of dried skin stuck to its face and I was like, “would it hurt him if I pulled that off?” And the teacher said, “yes it actually could, it’s probably still attached to living skin if it hasn’t come off yet” and I was like “oh, sorry,” and he said, “that’s okay, you were just wanting to do the primate thing.” And damn, that’s such an accurate descriptor.

From The Lilac Fairy Book by Andrew Lang

"The Bones of Djulung"