excellent names on the enemy team tonight
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@ladyspindle
excellent names on the enemy team tonight

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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sonce the sports are happening big rn where i live i made a handy chart of all the phrases i use to communicate with my loved ones during these trying times. i thought others might find it useful too
ive discovered you can have whole conversations with people using just these phrases and none will be any the wiser that you dont even know what sport it is theyre talking about
I realize this is a cast iron gate but I’m choosing to believe it’s a magic protection ritual
It IS a magic protection ritual, and it summons an iron gate to protect you from intruders.
“I cast Iron Gate!”
As a blacksmith I have been called a wizard by several small kids
thinking about coptic mummy paintings and weeping
like. i know these people

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lets frolic as paleolithic horses together
this kills me EVERY. TIME. I WATCH IT.
Her deadpan delivery is just... *chef's kiss*
Female Dwarves - With or without beards?
With beards
Without beard
Child Dwarves - With or without beards?
With beards
Without beards
Baby Dwarves - With or without beards?
With beards
Without beards
They shed their baby beards to make room for their adult beards. Like with baby teeth.
Reading the first part of Uprooted is so funny bc like, I can forgive Agnieszka for not understanding that Sarkan is trying to teach her magic (unlike me, the reader, she is not genre-aware) but I was soooo annoyed with Sarkan, like boy do you not see that you aren’t actually explaining ANYTHING??
And then you learn that he’s an extremely talented 150+ year old wizard that hasn’t spent any time with normal, non-magical people for about a century and also wasn’t super great at social interactions to begin with and eeeeverything starts to make sense.
Anyway, having figured that out about our Dragon, I made the dumbest, most niche xkcd meme of all time:
Original: https://xkcd.com/2501

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A while ago, I did a painting inspired by one of my favorite books, Uprooted (by Naomi Novik).
A few hours after I posted it, I decided I hated it.
So I started a new painting. And then put it aside and forgot about it. And then I found it again, and finally finished it, and here it is. I do not hate this painting, which is a major accomplishment for me! If you want a comparison, you can find the original painting a few posts back on my Instagram.
i might not be the biggest sarkan fan but if i spent YEARS studying and practicing for a test and some random chick who started preparing the night before scored the same as me, i too would be peeved as fuck!
Sarkan to Solya
I feel like I've read things where I've been like, "no you should have told the protagonist that, it is both plot important and emotionally impactful to them you should have said something" but with the Dragon (Sarkan? what do we call him on tumblr?) it's like "no that makes sense."
Like he 100% should have told Agnieszka she was a witch. 100 percent, I'm not excusing that. But him not doing it is also in character? Like, he's giving "astrophysicist who forgets most people don't know more than if it goes up it comes down because he only interacts with other astrophysicists and on top of that the new student's from the other side of the country and has no idea what this city's like." Dude just, straight up forgot he needs to explain things to people that aren't in his specialty or from court. I completely buy that he genuinely has no idea that most of what he's talking about isn't obvious.
He also gets knocked on his ass twice that first day so I'm willing to add a little more cover to that possible plot hole with "it was a weird day for him too."
Also for some reason I'm laughing at the idea of him, grouchy cat in the library, trying to figure out which spells are good for beginners, trying to figure out how to start teaching and grouchy af about it, then getting knocked on his ass twice by Agnieszka in like five minutes then getting laughed at and just being so confused about it.
Agnieszka is very understandably panicking and Sarkan's just grumbling to himself like a cat that got splashed as he reviews beginner cantrips and straight up forgets that he needs to tell his new student she's a witch.
Sarkan would never admit it but the real reason he was so mad when he found Marek in Agnieszka’s room was that it was hard to see someone else living his dream of beating Marek senseless

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Having finished my yearly reread of Spinning Silver, once again I am reminded that Isaac is the luckiest motherfucker in this book.
He gets to work a commission with a REALLY INTERESTING material, his work gets bought BY THE DUKE and worn by the woman who later becomes THE TSARINA, he makes a ton of money off the commission, gets married to a gorgeous girl he loves, and the fucking king of the fey comes to bless his wedding
AND he didn't have to get dragged through the wringer like all the other main characters. King just put in a solid's week worth of work, got paid and went home.
I got a 4 min long video of Kimchi dreaming today, so here's a clip
You get the whole walk cycle and the little sprint at the end.
Sometimes her sprints last for like 4 or 5 seconds and she can shoot herself off the couch or into a wall if she gets a grip with her back claws. If she does it next to a wall, her head smacking into it sounds like someone is trying to break into the house. She doesn't wake up.
Later in the dream she injured her paw and was limping, and earlier she caught something and ate it.