Whimsically and Musically Made

in primary school we had a creative writing assignment where we had to ‘write about a character in a new, strange situation!’ and i wrote about a squid that was somehow teleported from the ocean to the forest floor and slowly choked to death for two pages and i’ll never quite forget my teacher’s face because it turns out she wanted ‘this new school is scary, i hope i make friends!’ and not a graphic description of a squid dying

every time i look at the mystery gang i have this like visceral feeling that someone is missing. but nobody ever is. who are they. what happened to them

The best use of magic in the Lord of the Rings/Hobbit movies is whenever Gandalf uses it to make his voice really loud to win an argument because I would do the same thing.

I Was Trying To Be Funny But It Came Out as Really Mean: A 5-part documentary starring me.

I Was Trying To Be Loving And Supportive But I Probably Overstepped My Boundaries And Came Off as Creepy: a feature-length film with two sequels and a TV series adaption.

I Was Trying To Tell You I Relate To Your Difficult Situation But It Probably Sounded Like I Was Making It All About Me: a novel saga with several side book adaptions and a movie.

The number of times I have been delighted by witty banter only to find out later that I was “Flirting” is both unfortunate and disappointing.

I found out several of my female coworkers were planning on trying to get our male coworker to ask me out because “You guys kept flirting” but I was like “We were literally just goofing around. Like we literally just told jokes to each other. Literally just stuff that friends do, the same stuff you and I do.” I was definitely 100% NOT flirting but everyone thought I was

*Lemony Snicket voice* The word ‘poison’ here can mean many things. ‘Poison’ may literally refer to the presence of an unwashed llama in a stream from which a nearby village likely collects its drinking water. Likewise, it may figuratively refer to the effect of greed and isolation on the priorities of a young ruler, or the machinations of a villainous royal advisor on the health and wellbeing of said young ruler. In this case, however, ‘poison’ most literally refers to the poison, the poison for Kuzco, the poison chosen especially to kill Kuzco, Kuzco’s poison… That poison.

i feel like i was just rick-rolled

guy who invented the piano: what if we laid a harp on its side and added hammers

how dare you take this mediocre shitpost and make it genuinely funny

room called the doll room and theres a mirror and nothing else. the door closes

It’s so....goofy 💛

the struggle between “i’m too lazy to shave my legs plus it’s a nice fuck you to gender expectations” and “i want legs as smooth as baby dolphins” is so real