Cosimo Galluzzi

shark vs the universe

Love Begins
Monterey Bay Aquarium

tannertan36
RMH
Claire Keane
we're not kids anymore.

⁂
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

★

pixel skylines
🪼
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
sheepfilms

祝日 / Permanent Vacation

Product Placement
Peter Solarz

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@ladybugpowermakeup

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Visiting family for the weekend, including my seven year old niece, who is obviously the most special and incredible child on the planet
Anyway, she really, really loves it when I tell her stories. She loves stories anyway, and at first this manifested as "stories about Tad-Cu Bryn", aka my father (her grandfather) who died before she was born. This has been a lovely way to keep his memory alive, and she adores every story - she has her favourites, which she will request.
Then it became apparent that she specifically loves me telling her stories. She'll happily ask others for them too, but from me she just wants any anecdote at all; which of course is wonderful and demonstrates that she is a child of impeccable taste and wisdom and brilliance, but also she has ADHD and the energy reserves of a seven year old and so this gets Tiring very quickly
Yesterday, in the car on the way back from the wildlife centre, she asked for one of my longer stories, and I was like hey, how about we try something different?
And she was like, no, tell me a story about Tad-Cu Bryn
And I was like, this will be a brand new story and you get to play it and help me tell it
And she was like, explain
So I gave her three characters to choose from. The first was a warrior with a sword she could name, who was nonetheless dyspraxic. The second was a gymnastic elf who could commune with trees but was afraid of heights. The third was a dyslexic witch whose spells sometimes go wrong when she spells the words wrong.
She picked the witch. I pulled up an online d20 on my phone. I went to start, and she insisted my mother had to play as the elf.
So I told them that the new queen of the kingdom had called for them, because their palace treasury had been robbed - specifically, a single enchanted coin that brings luck and wealth to a ruler's reign had been stolen. And tales of enchanted coins were suddenly emanating from across the land, so each one needed investigating until the right coin was found.
It turns out kids who like stories will absolutely lap this shit up. She was enthralled. It was the simplest story - they had to get into a bank, revive some unconscious gnomes, then enter the vault, find the coin that had been deposited into it, then get back to the queen. Enough to fill a half hour car ride, basically, but she managed to fill it with all the wacky hijinks you get from a ttrpg, particularly when she tried to smash a door down with a hammer but rolled a 1.
We finished with the queen saying it wasn't the right coin, and then my niece demanded we go again, this time with her playing as a sapient reticulated python. That time we made it all the way to the final boss fight, which was a sorcerer who created a big coin monster out of loads of coins; I asked my niece what she wanted to do, and she described graphically how she wanted to constrict and eat the sorcerer and immediately rolled a 19. So, sure! Okay. The sorcerer is now very dead. The coin monster, though, was still there, and as my niece tried to say she would do the same thing, I was like, no, you're a snake and you just ate. You're now immobile.
At this point, my sister advised her to regurgitate the sorcerer.
Great! said my niece. I'm going to do it at the coin monster.
And rolled a 20.
So she projectile vomited a dead sorcerer into the coin monster, and won the day.
Anyway, today she immediately demanded we play "the game with the story where we choose", and my brother in law is now asking me how he can do this with her ("Are you making it all up as you go along??"). But yeah, turns out, this is a fantastic way to entertain a seven year old. Vague ongoing quest, then three steps: get into (place), resolve (minor puzzle), boss fight to finish. Boom. Easy.
So far I've done a bank, a tavern, and an art gallery (it featured an exhibit that was just a room full of slippery banana skins). I'm going to do a pirate ship next
my hottest take
Counter point, those machines can make me a peach sprite.
guys did you know the tech in that nefangled machine revolutionized preemie healthcare
yeah the guy who invented them made incredibly precise infusion pumps (as opposed to gravity fed ivs) which not only meant they could give medications to teeny tiny babies safely, it's also used for insulin pumps and portable dialysis machines. the key element is that it's a peristaltic pump so the liquid stays in sterile tubing for safety
(unholy drink cloaca uses it to dispense precise amounts of flavored sugar syrup)
Then how the haters loved him,
As they shouted out with glee,
"Unholy Drink Cloaca
You'll go down in history!"
You DON'T get this on any other site in quite this format.
I've found that writing little vignettes of conversation snippets really helps move the story along. I will be making gratuitous use of this, thanks for asking. Now to FINALLY write the rest of the Great Plateau section. I just need to get to the Temple of Time and I'll be fine.
Literally five minutes after this my cat sat down on my chest, rendering me unable to type on my laptop. It's a good thing he's cute.
I've found that writing little vignettes of conversation snippets really helps move the story along. I will be making gratuitous use of this, thanks for asking. Now to FINALLY write the rest of the Great Plateau section. I just need to get to the Temple of Time and I'll be fine.

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Link: "I'm not that smart."
Zelda *cracking her knuckles*: "Nobody talks about my friend like that and gets away with it, so square up, buddy!"
Link and Zelda: *sleeping on the bed in the cottage on the Great Plateau, curled up with each other without a care in the world*
Ghost of Rhoam, watching from just outside the door: "I don't know how to feel about this..."
I will live and die on the hill that once Link is no longer pressured to be the silent stoic swordsman, he is going to be a) the biggest dork, and b), the worlds biggest worry rambler when it comes to Zelda. Which, to be fair, she also is for him, so these two idiots (affectionate) deserve each other.

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So ready to be done with the Great Plateau section of the fic so I can finally stop trying to fit in references to "the old man" every other sentence.
Getting back into writing Dangerous To Go Alone, and oh boy is it already a doozy. Definitely not giving Zelda my personal traumas, no... definitely not.
Also, if anyone is interested, the first chapter is up on AO3!
how rogue one probably goes in the rebel padmé/ galaxy's messiest divorce au
(commission info // tip jar!)
Wei Weaving is a Chinese artist
wordle in 1: joyless. it is statistically inevitable that your go-to starting word will be the solution one day, and this is no more of an accomplishment than running a random number generator once a day until it gives you "1"
wordle in 2: misleading. you may think that this is the highest achievement, but it suffers from the same disappointment of a lucky guess that wordle in 1 causes. your second guess is a strategic choice, but ending the game this early just isn't interesting
wordle in 3: the peak. your starting word gave you some information and then your second guess contextualized that information into a solvable position. your sharp intuition and restraint is what truly separates you as above average.
wordle in 4: statistically average, par for the course, the baseline against which all other wordles are compared.
wordle in 5: you're sweating. you made a mistake at some point, or your starting word was effectively useless, and it took an extra guess above average to close things out. wordle in 5 comes as a relief.
wordle in 6: crushing humiliation. you have technically succeeded but at what cost. your thirty square grid will stare back at you like barrels of a firing squad. a failure in all but name.
wordle failure: never your fault. what kind of stupid word even was that like come on

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let's put Scooby and the gang in a genuine horror movie situation, i wanna see what these freaks are truly capable of
"didn't they already do this with—" no. put them in a slasher film. put them in a BLOODBATH. put this van full of weirdoes in a Texas Chainsaw Massacre scenario i have FAITH in them
THEY'D DO WELL IN SAW
okay I'm thinking about this
not Saw specifically but a slasher with a legit body count. Summer camp slashers are overplayed but I think it really works because it's the type of thing the Scooby gang WOULD get caught up in.
like some of the counselors didn't show up (got got) so the head counselor calls his younger cousin to see if him and his friends can fill in last minute. They show up and they're a bunch of nerds, one of them even has an anxiety dog, and they don't have a big role at first. It seems like the movie is setting them up as cannon fodder.
and then the deaths start and suddenly the nerds are locked the fuck in. The little one with the glasses actually fixed the phone line and is taking stock of all their supplies in case the vehicles go out. The counselor's cousin who seemed like a himbo has set up a perimeter and made makeshift alarms for all the doors and windows, knows all the entry points. The anxious one and his dog are keeping the mood up with the snacks and activities that were supposed to be for the kids, making sure nobody panics and starts making dumb decisions. Somebody tried to grab the redhead and she flipped him over and had him zip-tied before anybody noticed. Weren't they a D&D group or something? What is happening???
Fuck the slasher movie just effectively becomes Home Alone but with Four Kevin McAllisters
Bro's fucked.
art by Daviddv1202
at one point the kid with the anxiety dog says, "man, why does this keep happening? this is, like, the eighth time thid year!"
it's barely June. abruptly all the normal councilors understand a) why he has an anxiety dog, and b) why the dog has anxiety too.