Tumhe bhulane me shayad, mujhe zamaana lage

13th April, 1996

The Bombay heat had significantly cooled down at seven in the evening. Jessie and Joel reached Apollo Bunder and entered the lane that would take them to Joseph D’mello’s house in Imperial Heights.

Jessie was dressed in purple nylon shorts and her team's jersey from the Cathedral while Joel had a similar football jersey and shorts, his curly hair tied covered by a bandana. School might be over but Jessie’s Volleyball team at the Cathedral still met in the afternoons and played until the wee hours of the evening. Today, Jessie held a polythene bag full of mango bar ice creams that Amrita loved.

After her 10th boards exams had come to an end, Jessie had jumped into bed and slept for eighteen hours straight. She had woken up with Ruby panting in her face and Joel being wrapped around her like a furnace.

That evening, Jessie and Joel sat in the D’mello’s massive balcony with Amrita oiling their hair while Joseph D’mello asked them which country they would like to visit for the summers.

“I’m afraid we won’t be travelling anywhere this year,” said Amrita, her fingers massaging Joel's scalp.

“Can't we do it before…” said Joseph

“Why, Mumma and before what?” asked Jessie.

“Your father is being posted in Ludhiana again. And he wants us to move to the cantonment there. Dholewal,” said Amrita.

Jessie felt dread pool in her stomach at the thought of going back to living full time with her father. Joel looked like he had seen a ghost.

“You can't be serious, Mumma,” said Jessie. ‘You mean to say, we have to go back? To cantonments and him breathing down our necks?”

“Jessie, he spoke to me and sounded apologetic. He says he would like a chance now that his career is moving in the right direction. He’s a Lieutenant Colonel now. He can give us more time,”

“You want me to believe that he’s changed? Just because he has more power now? What makes you think he won't be lording over our heads with the same power. Mumma, how could you do this to us? Did you know about this, Dadu?”

Joseph D’mello nodded reluctantly and Jessie felt disappointment stab her chest.

“Jojo, say something,” urged Jessie.

“Kahi nahi jaa rahe hum,” said Joel, with finality. He extracted his head from Amrita's grip and stood. Then he took Jessie by the hand and started walking toward the balcony doors.

“Jassi aur Harleen aa rahe hai,” said Amrita as a last ditch attempt to stop her kids.

The twins stopped in place just short of leaving the balcony.

“Because we’d be leaving for Ludhiana, I thought it’d be a good idea to get the Rangis here. So you both could have fun and show them around,”

“So you’re trying to sweeten the deal before sending us for slaughter?” asked Jessie and walked out of the balcony.

The next few days were spent in an uncomfortable silence between the twins and Amrita. The kids would leave their house in the morning and go for their morning run, a Rangi introduced tradition. Then they would go play with their friends and come back in the afternoon. They would eat their lunch, gobble mangoes, take a nap and then cycle back to Bombay’s maidans. Joel would end up playing football with his friends from the building while Jessie would be at Oval Maidan playing volleyball with her team. When they came back, Joel would sit and ideally strum his guitar in his room while Jessie would get lost in the magic of Nancy Drew, sitting beside her brother; the notes from his brother's guitar relaxing her mind.

“Trust me, kids, your mother needs you both,” said Joseph D’mello after making the kids sit in his library. “She wants to take a chance in life that might lead to happiness or push her into failure again. And if this experiment does fail, it would help her recover better if she has you both with her,”

“We’ll think about it, Dadu,” said Jessie that night.

The next day they had bought a bag full of mango bar ice cream as a peace offering and apology to their mother.

When the ancient metal grilled lift took them to the fourth floor, Joel and Jessie looked at each other with apprehension. Jessie exhaled as Joel took out the keys from his bag and they jingled in the process.

When the door was unlocked, the twins walked into the entryway, took off their shoes and forayed into the house. Jessie involuntarily smiled as Ruby started barking at their arrival. The moment they entered the main living hall, Jessie flinched when she heard a screech.

It took her a few seconds to realise that the ball of yellow running her way was a girl, who was yelling “Jessie didi!”

And then she was hugged, or rather crushed. The huge spacious living room was a chaos filled space as a twelve year old Harleen crushed her neck and locked her legs around Jessie’s waist while a now older Ruby ran behind her and sniffed at Jessie’s legs. Jessie looked at Joel to see his eyes comically wide. The cold war between Amrita and the kids had reduced communication between them and they had totally forgotten the date of the Rangis' arrival.

“Harleen, oh my God. My baby. Kab aaye tum log?” yelled Jessie bouncing the girl in her arms.

Joel, who had his mouth open in shock, was attacked by a very excited Jassi and pulled into a bear hug. Jessie gasped a little when she saw another boy behind Jassi. A khaki coloured pag, a long sleeved maroon t-shirt and black cargo pants.

She shifted her attention towards Jassi and noticed all the ways he had grown from the last time she had seen him. He was wearing a full sleeved grey pin striped shirt and cargo pants that made him look taller. He had shaved his hair off at the age of 12 and now maintained a standard buzz cut. Sweat beaded at his forehead and trailed down the side of his eyes. His eyes. The one thing about him that Jessie could never look away from. They held the same level of mischievousness as always. And his smile held so much, Jessie realised that no amount of books would be able to describe the beauty of it.

When Harleen let her go, Jessie dropped the bag of ice cream onto the floor and went to Pinda.

“Jessie, nahi, Please,” warned Pinda.

But Jessie didn’t listen. She advanced towards the boy and took hold of his plump cheeks and pulled, squealing in delight.

“Jessie, yaar!”

“So cuteeee!” giggled Jessie.

She let the boy go and ran towards Jasleen who was sitting on a tuft sofa in the living room. Jessie ran and plonked herself on Jasleen's lap and hugged her tight. “Maasi! I missed you so much,”

She drew back and kissed Jasleen on both her cheeks.

“Jessie, darling, I understand you are excited but we don’t crush our guests on the first day they come here, no?” said Julie, their cook.

“Does that mean there’s another day when we CAN do it?” asked Joseph.

“Oh, off with your jokes, Joseph. Have you taken your medicines yet?” said Julie, glaring at the old man who looked at the plants in the balcony as if they were the most interesting specimen ever.

“Maasi, aap iss ladki ko kya khila rahi hain? Ye itni lambi kaisi ho gayi?” asked Jessie, leaning her head on Jasleen’s shoulder.

“Wo bas humara dimaag khaati hai,” said Jassi from the doorway.

Upon hearing that, Harleen shoved him, leading to Jassi putting his sister into a headlock. The siblings wrestled each other near the doorway and were broken apart by a stern “Bacchon!” from their mother.

Harleen's yellow salwar suit gleamed in the soft lights of the living room and made her look older than her twelve years old. Jessie’s heart gave a pang at that thought.

“Harjinder uncle, aap toh din-ba-din aur bhi handsome hote jaa rahe ho. What is your secret?” teased Jassie.

“Meri votti mujhe itna khaana khilaati hai na, bas wahi raaz hai. Haina Soneyo?” Harjinder asked his wife, his crutches lying at his sides.

“Aap chup karo, saara din bas meetha khaate rehte hai. Sugar badh rakhi hai. Diabetes ho rakhi hai. Aur to aur, mithaayian chura ke bauji ko bhi khilaa dete hai,” scolded Jasleen.

“Are ha iski daant bhi toh khaata hu. Wo bhi raaz hai. Aur Soneyo, meethaiyan toh Bauji ko bhi acchi lagti hai. Kyu bauji?” Daarji answered with his trademark serene smile and looked on. Nobody expected an answer from the old man as the conversation moved on.

“Mumma, can we take Jassi and Joel down? Please. We can do a cycle ride,” said Jessie.

“Jessie, it’s seven thirty. Go freshen up,” replied Amrita.

Jessie got off Jasleen’s lap, ran towards the bag of ice cream she had dropped and took it towards Amrita.

“This is for you, Mumma,” she said as Joel came and stood beside her. “We’re sorry.”

Amrita squinted at her kids for a few seconds and then her mouth twitched as a smile formed on her lips. She rolled her eyes and shook her head at her kids' antics.

“Mumma, why don’t we go to Wimpys and get burgers?” suggested Jessie and hugged her mother's waist. “Please, Mumma. Please!”

“Jessie, khaana already ban gaya hai,” scolded Amrita. “And Wimpys kal bhi jaa sakte hai. Why don’t you show them the terrace while we set up the table?”

“Yes!” said Jessie. “Holy shit! Why didn’t I think of that before?”

“Language,” scolded Amrita.

“Sorry, Mumma,” sang Jessie, giving her mother a sweet smile.

That’s how Jessie, Joel, Pinda, Jassi, Harleen and Ruby found themselves on the spacious terrace of the Imperial Chambers. The terrace was a greenscape, lined with concrete pathways in between for people to walk while bushes lined them on both sides.

“Are you seriously not going to talk to me, Jess?” asked Joel, standing on the terrace's threshold.

Jassi, Pinda and Harleen were far away, leaning on the terrace parapet and looking at the view of the sea and the buildings surrounding them.

“No. You know what you did and I have no respect for cowards,” said Jessie as she moved towards the Rangi siblings.

“Ye shaam mastani, madhosh kiye jaaye,” said Jessie, coming to stand between Jassi and Harleen.

“Mujhe dor koi kheeche, teri aur liye jaayein,” replied Jassi, making them both laugh at their little game.

“Boards kaise gaye?” asked Jessie.

“Veerji aur ye gadha toh puri raat jaag kar padhaai kar rahe the, Di,” started Harleen. “Agar inhe neend se jagaakar koi sawaal puch lete na toh ye shuru ho jaate. Sote nahi the puri raat aur mujhe bhi sone nahi dete the,”

“Khud ke exams pehle khatam karke humari padhai me bhang daal rahi thi ye. Meri kamre me aake bakwaas karti rehti thi,” grumbled Jassi.

“Wo toh me isliye karti thi, ki aap bore na ho,” defended Harleen. “Par bhalaai ka toh zamaana hi nahi raaha aaj kal. Duniye me itne ehsaan faramosh log hote hai, na, Jessie Di, maine soch bhi nahi tha,”

“Raat me aake besure gaane gaane ko ehsaan nahi kehte,” teased Pinda, smacking Harleen’s head playfully. “Aayi badi Naazia Hassan,”

“Tujhe toh mein!” said Harleen as the both started fighting with each other. Harleen came near Jessie and slithered into the space between Jessie and the parapet, hiding from Pinda.

Jessie hugged the girl close and booed at Pinda, as if mocking him but ordering him to stay away.

“Waise aapke exams kaise the?” asked Jasleen.

“Mera bhi same haal tha. Tension ke maare neend hi nahi aati thi,” said Jassi. “Aur jab paper khatam hota tha toh lagta tha ki pata nahi kya likh diya maine, lekin doston ke saath answ–,”

“Jessie, are you for real right now?” came Joel’s harsh voice.

“Can we talk about this later?” said Jessie, her annoyance flaring.

“No, I want to talk about it now. I’m your brother, for God’s sake. Not him. I thought we were a team. You’re not gonna talk to me because of some boy?”

“We did play as a team against Mumma. But this is something I cannot get behind. I mean, not talking to him is one thing but bullying the boy? In front of the entire class? Kya mil gaya karke? Cool ban gaya tu? And what the fuck do you mean some boy?”

“Jessie, I had my reasons. You know them very well,”

“No, I don’t and I do not want to hear them. All I know is that the boy admires you. You were screaming the house down because of five fucking roses he gave you. Then you yelled at him in front of everybody and teased him for his voice. Said he should be wearing ribbons in his hair because he sounds like a girl. And for what? Who were you trying to please? Those fuck all boys who don’t gave a damn about you? Who you don't even play with? They didn't even care when you stopped meeting them,”

“I was embarrassed, okay?” Joel spit out. “He asked me what time we were meeting on the terrace in front of everyone? I mean what was I supposed to do?”

“Not be a coward and answer him. Not feeling embarrassed. Who’s more important? Him or those assholes. You don’t deserve him. Ek number ka phattu hai tu. Aur ek baat baata kal ko unhone Harleen ko dekh kar kuch bol diya toh? Are you gonna stand there and laugh with them? Are you gonna be a coward and feel embarrassed of knowing her as well? Will you do the same with me? I’m surprised you haven’t done that with me already” said Jessie, her breath coming out in angry spurts.

Their argument was broken by Lucas appearing near the entrance of the terrace, with tears in his blue eyes. Joel was frozen in place and Jessie could feel the guilt rolling off her brother but her anger was too thick to take notice.

When Lucas turned and left, Jessie could hear Joel sniffle.

“I’m sorry,” said Joel, his voice wobbling with sobs. “I was scared,”

“I’m not the person you should be apologising to, Jojo,” said Jessie, her heart thawing. “There’s still time. Go fix it,”

When Joel had disappeared, Jessie slid down the parapet and sat on the ground.

“Jojo bhaiya ne uss ladke ka mazaak udaaya?” asked Harleen. Jessie couldn’t help but nod.

“Jojo bhaiya sach me sorry hai?” asked Harleen. Jessie nodded again. “Toh woh sambhaal lenge. Di, mujhe samander ki lehre dekhni hai hai. Aur gateway of India bhi. Me Ruby ko lekar uss taraf jaau?” Jessie nodded at the girl, who also held Pinda by the forearm and ran towards the other side of the terrace, Ruby skipping behind them. Jessie could see Pinda still looking at the entrance where Joel had gone to.

“Sahi kiya,” said Jassi, the moment Harleen was out of earshot.

“Thank you,” said Jessie and looked at Jassie who also sat beside her leaning on the parapet wall. “Teri toh daadhi aa rahi hai, Jassi,”

“Ha pata hai. Katwaata hu toh aur tezi se aa jaati hai,”

“Tune world cup dekha?” asked Jessie. “Vinod Kambli ko rota hua nahi dekha gaya mujhse yaar,”

“Mujhe screen me ghus kar jhappi deni thi bande ko,” said Jassi.

“Jassi, tune DDLJ dekhi?”

“Yaar, che mahine hum bas plan hi bana rahe hai lekin kuch baat nahi ban rahi hai. Maine suna log pagal ho rahe hai. Aisa kya hai usme?”

“Oh no no no. Hum dekhne jayenge, Jassi. Yu samajh ki agar wo movie koi novel hoti toh me ab take use almost pachaas baar padh chuki hoti,”

“Wo toh sirf tu hi kar sakti hai,” said Jassi.

“Tu shukar kar tujhe mere jaisi plan banane waali dost mili hai. Jassi, tu meri list dekhega toh paagal ho jayega. There are so many ideas I have,”

“Uss me humari morning run included hai?” asked Jassi.

“Of course, hai. Infact tere bauji ki wajah se hum dono ko aadat lag gayi hai. We do it with Ruby every morning.”

When they left the terrace and climbed down the stairs with Harleen, Pinda and Ruby in tow, Jessie walked ahead of the group. When they reached the turning on the stairs, Jessie skipped ahead and reached the passage outside their flats.

She sighed with relief at the sight of Joel and Lucas, sitting on the stairs, holding hands. They sprang apart when they saw her and Lucas left the twins alone walking down to his house a floor below.

When they stepped into the entryway, the house smelled of Amrita's special Yakhni Pulao. When everyone sat for dinner, they had to abandon the table due to it becoming overcrowded. Jessie felt joy bubble in her chest as she sat on the sofa beside Harleen and ate while keeping her plate in her lap.

Joel, Pinda and Jassi were engaged in a debate about India's latest world Cup defeat. Harleen was asking Jessie about the play ground she went to every day while Jessie asked her what new drawings she had made after her exams.

Amrita, Jasleen and Harjinder's ever joyful conversation had found a new member. Joseph D'mello. The old man was just as terrible as Harjinder when it came to singing and made Jasleen and Amrita wheeze with laughter at his terrible attempt at singing Aye Meri Zohar Jabi, along with Harjinder.

Julie sat with Daarji near the balcony and fed him biryani with a spoon while Ruby sat below his feet and dozed off after having been fed.

Jessie had asked Amrita for her and Harleen to sleep together. So Joel had been kicked out of their shared room and made to sleep in the guestroom with Daarji, Jassi and Pinda, while Jasleen and Harjinder were given another guest room to themselves. When Jessie closed her eyes that night, the presence of the Rangis and finishing their cold war with Amrita had relaxed her so much, she fell asleep the moment her head touched the pillow.

—---

“Jessie! Saans toh le rahi hai na?” came Pinda’s voice.

“Jessie Di, utho na! Please!”

“Jessie, das baj gaye. Teri puri team tujhe bulaane aayi thi,”

Jessie opened her eyes to find Harleen and Joel kneeling on each side of her, while Pinda sat near her feat. She closed her eyes, turned on her side and pulled a pillow over her head.

“Ye humesha aise hi kumbakaran jaisi soti hai?” came Jassi’s voice from the balcony.

Jessie twisted her neck in his direction and glared. She sat up in bed and threw the pillow in Jassi’s direction.

Annoyance flared as she got off the bed, opened her wardrobe and started digging for clothes. Jessie picked up the first things she found and entered the bathroom, lightly slamming the door. She threw the clothes on a tiled platform right beside the basin. As she started noisily pulling out towels from the utility cabinets, a bout of laughter left her at her riled up reaction. She shook her head as laughter resounded from the other side of the door.

After a quick shower, Jessie dressed up in high waisted wide legged jeans and ribbed crop top, with a shirt above, and a knot tied at the waist. She put on a black choker around her neck with a scrunchie around her wrist and walked out of the room to the living room.

—

Wimpy’s Burgers at 7pm on a Sunday was a picture of chaos. Noisy kids and their parents sat and feasted on burgers that were considered an expensive meal.

The Rangis, and D’mellos along with Julie aunty sat on plastic chairs in front of two tables that were joined together to handle the sheer number of people. The kids were on a small table of six people while the adults were on another. Harleen and Pinda were looking around the air conditioned place trying to take everything in. The plastic chairs were unforgiving on Joseph D’mellos bones, yet he sat on, enjoying the company of his family.

Jassi had just experienced love in its truest form today. When Jessie had asked her grandfather to organise an outing to Metro Cinemas, in Churchgate, Joseph’s PA had already made sure to book gallery tickets for the family. When the families had stepped into the luxurious and huge waiting area with glorious chandeliers, plush carpet and a fully air conditioned waiting area, the manager himself had stepped in and greeted Joseph D’mello. Harjinder had been helped into the hall by two guards.

When the movie started with the iconic mustard fields where Raj and Simran met, Jassi was transported back to their khets in Ludhiana. As the movie progressed, Jassi struggled to find Raj as the perfect hero everyone was making him out to be. He was annoying and kept following Simran everywhere she went. If someone followed Harleen like that, Jassi would make sure the person had no eye sight left anymore.

But as they progressed and Raj turned into a dedicated lover who had breached his beloved's house, Jassi realised they were quite similar. If he were to love a girl someday, and her father were to refuse, Jassi would also want to try his best and convince the man that he loved his daughter deep enough to marry and stay committed to her.

He would be joining the army soon and that would definitely work in his favour. No man would ever say no to marrying his daughter to a soldier. Of course there were risks to the job and there was a huge chance that he would end up being wrapped in the tiranga but if he loved someone and she loved him just as much, Jassi would like to fight for her.

Wasn't that also why he had planned to join the army so Major Daniel would –

Jassi sat up the moment the thought entered his head, as normal as breathing. Pinda gave him a questioning glance to which he shook his head and sat back.

There was something brewing inside him. His heart was beating in his chest and his mouth had suddenly gone dry. When they had entered the theatre, Harleen had wanted to sit between Jojo Bhaiya and Jessie Didi, leaving Jassi to sit on Jessie's right with Pinda, Bebe, Bauji and Daarji beside him.

Jassi dared and turned his neck a little. Jessie had plastered herself to the seat, her legs folded. Her hands were covering her mouth as big fat tears rolled down her cheeks. Jassi looked at the screen to see Simran’s mother giving Raj and Simran some jewellery so they could run away before Simran’s father found out about their relationship and punished them for it.

Jassi looked back to see Jessie sobbing in her seat. His chest pinched at the sight of her tears and Jassi felt his hand moving of its own accord. He placed it on her knee, leading to Jessie turning around and looking at him.

Her fear streaked face and the absolute despair in her eyes made Jassi realise that he hated it. He hated seeing her in any form of pain.

Jassi couldn't watch the movie after that. But then Jessie would pat his arm and tell him to watch the next scene and he would be sucked into the inevitable love story of Raj and Simran.

When Simran's Bauji found out about her and Raj, Jassi felt as if his heart was in his mouth. When they beat him up at the station, Jassi wanted to punch Simran's fiance. And when Simran's father finally let her go, so that she could be with Raj, Jassi thought he might cry.

When they left the theatre, Harleen was her regular yappy self, discussing the movie with Jessie. Pinda and Joel. Then Joseph D'mello had suggested that they all go to Wimpys to eat burgers.

Harjinder and Jasleen had tried to fight Joseph over the bill, but the man had been stubborn and made the Rangis sit in place with everybody else.

“Pata hai Jessie kaise ro rahi thi?” said Joel, tapping Harleen on her shoulder.

He flared his nostrils and exhaled at the same time, mimicking Jessie in the cinema hall. Pinda and Harleen laughed while Jassi felt a pang of annoyance at that. He looked at Jessie who irritatedly threw a fry at her brother.

“Haan, haan. Tera boyfriend nahi dikha toh mujhpar gussa nikalegi?” said Joel.

Harleen gasped and whispered in Jessie’s ear, “Jessie didi, aapka boyfriend hai?”

“Waah bhai waah,” praised Pinda. “Tune toh pehle se apna Raj dhund ke rakha hai,”

Jassi felt his heart fracture at that. He looked down and tried to focus on eating a burger without making a mess or dripping anything on his t-shirt.

“Offo, Harleen, Pinda, aisa kuch nahi hai. Ye gadha kuch bhi bolta hai,” said Jessie, throwing another fry at her brother.

“Crush toh hai na uspe?” asked Joel. “Wo ladke football khelneke baad yehi aate hai. Aur ye madam usko dekhke pagal hoti hai. “Oh my god, that Benny is so cute. My Benny, My baby,””

“Maine sauce daal dena hai teri jacket pe,” threatened Jessie. “Ha crush hai toh kya hua. Kaunsa wo mujhe ha bolne wala hai? Bhaav bhi nahi deta, Plus wo college me hai. Mujhe toh bikul nahi dekh raha wo.”

“Par Jessie didi, aap use bata kar to dekho. Kahi wo aapka Raj nikal gaya toh?” said a very excited Harleen.

“Chup kar oye,” snapped Jassi. “Tujhe bada pata boyfriend girlfriend ke baare me? Ayi badi Raj Simran waali,”

“Jassi, that’s so mean!” scolded Jessie. “Kya takleef kya hai baat karne me?”

Jassi looked down and fixed his gaze on a spot in his tray. He popped a fry in his mouth and focused on chewing it.

“Bata? Why are you so quiet now?” goaded Jessie.

“Koi takleef nahi hai,” snapped Jassi. “karo jo karna hai. Mujhe chain se khaane do,”

He hated himself at that moment. Hated the harshness with which he was behaving. And the look of hurt on Jessie’s face had nearly decimated him. His mind was a chaotic place of uncertainty. Discovering that he might like his best friend as well as the fact that she might have a crush on a boy who he knew nothing about. A boy who was much older and probably spoke English faster than his punjabi medium angrezi. Why wouldn’t she be with that boy rather than a pendu like him?

The conversation moved on. Jessie and Harleen started talking about how ‘beautiful’ SRK was, while Pinda told them that he loved Kajol’s unibrow. Joel was telling them that he would not beat up, but at least interview a boy hard if he ever wanted to be with Jessie.

Jassi didn’t remember getting into the car and reaching the D’mellos house. When Bebe had told him that they were going to Bombay this year instead of the other way around, he had been excited to spend a whole month in Bombay with Jessie, Joel and Amrita Maasi. Now it felt as if there was no point being there.

Jassi spent the entire next week moping around. Joseph took them to several spots in Bombay where Harleen and Pinda were left wide eyed looking at the views while Jassi felt a bitterness unfurl inside him that he had no way of controlling. He felt useless, the trip felt pointless and it made sense that Jessie would want to be with a posh Bombay boy. He would take her to all those expensive places she frequented. He would be able to afford a burger worth sixty rupees and not think twice. They could buy an expensive pizza and sit in the air conditioned shops where Jassi clearly didn’t belong.

This trip alone had cost them an arm and a leg. Amrita had offered and insisted to book the tickets for them but Jasleen and Harjinder had refused. Jassi had asked how they were going to afford the tickets after being knee deep in loans due to the 1988 floods. They had given him their parental answer of “Hum sambhal lenge,”

There were times when his parent’s decisions didn't make sense to him. The Arthiya loan they had taken in 1988 after the floods meant that they wouldn’t be able to make profit by themselves, the Arthiya had made sure that they would sell only to him. When their selling price hadn’t been enough to provide for their farming, they had taken more loans from local vendors. Now they were on the verge of asking Sukhwinder for help. That good for nothing gangster who wanted to lord over the Pind. Jassi had suggested going to Gobind uncle but Jasleen had proudly shot down the idea. He hated it all but they were the elders and they knew best so he had stopped poking his nose while silently watching his parents struggle.

Jassi’s new crush, his feelings for her, the anxiety of his parents and his family's future, had all combined to create a whirlpool in his head, whose noise was deafening him to anything else.

When Jessie asked if he wanted to eat ice cream or something else, he would answer in Yes or No. When Joel took a vote about where to go and what to do in the evening, Jassi would have a standard answer of, “Jo tumlogon ko theek lage,”

There must’ve been more than twenty places they had visited and Jassi felt like he was going through the motions rather than looking around and experiencing.

The next Sunday, Jassi realised how stupid he had been. He had been too busy drowning in his own misery to see how affected Jessie was by all of it.

Ever since they had come to the Rangis, the terrace with its view of the Gateway of India had become Jassi’s favourite. That’s where Jessie found him.

“Tu mujhpar gussa hai?” asked Jessie, her face scrunched a little as if she was in pain and then went back to her angry mug.

Jassi closed his eyes and breathed in. He knew this confrontation was bound to happen but he hadn’t expected it this soon. Jassi looked at his best friend and took her in. She wore a tennis skirt and a sleeveless jersey, and her face was covered in a layer of oil that came from playing out all day. Jassi knew that Jessie and Joel had taken Harleen and Pinda to play football with Joel’s friends from the colony.

“Nahi,” said Jassi, simply.

“That’s it? Bas yahi bolna hai tujhe? “Nahi” Now what?”

“Ab tu mujhe akela chhod de,”

“Jassi, kya ho gaya hai tujhe?” asked Jessie, her annoyance and hurt flaring clear in her eyes.

“Kuch nahi hua hai, Jessie!” shot back Jassi. “Kyu Mother Teresa banne pe tuli hui hai. Ja apne sheesh mehel me waapis ja aur mujeh akela chhod de,”

He saw the hurt in her eyes, the frustration, the helplessness. Jassi realised that he had been the reason for this. When she ran away from there and left the terrace, Jassi sat down leaning on the terrace parapet and tried to calm his furiously pumping heart.

As Jessie ran down the stairs from the terrace, she felt a lightning bolt of pain shoot up lower belly. It had started while she had been engaged in a match of football with her building friends at Azad Maidan, and now the pain was a fire breathing dragon inside her stomach.

She had realised what was happening right on the ground but was not going to abandon a good match when they were winning by a huge majority. The worst that could happen was staining and leaking, and Jessie was ready to deal with that rather than cutting the match short. She thought the game had helped eliminate the pain, but the adrenaline had only made her ignore it.

She clutched her stomach and held onto the wall as a wave of dizziness hit her. Jessie leaned her head on the door and as her tears fell faster. The frustration of Jassi’s behaviour, her uncertainty whether she had done something to piss him off, the pressure of the upcoming results, all came crashing down on her as Jessie held onto the door and sobbed, black spots dancing in front of her eyes.

“Jessie!” She heard her name being called out but there was an incessant ringing in her ear that wouldn’t stop.

Another bolt of pain simultaneously went up her lower back and lower belly making her groan, as Jessie felt the warm wetness of blood flow between her legs.

Her period was here, and as always, it had come back with a violence that was harsher and even more brutal than her best friend being distant with her.

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