It has always been you
Jaskirat Singh Rangi x Reader *♡°.•
Summary: You were pining but he was already in love. Based on this request.
A/n: I AM SO SO SORRY IF I BUTCHERED PUNJABI 😭😭😭( please dm mein aa kar gali do aur agar koi correction hai toh batao🙏🙏🙏🙏). Yalina was not honeytrapped by our babyboi, she is out there slaying and is not going to marry a burger baccha, giving her father bp problems like she was supposed to💅. The reader is gujarati but y'all can ignore that I guess. I struggled with writing flirting? Idk, maybe my rizz is limited to making people piss themselves laughing 🤷. Sorry for butchered grammar and spelling mistakes if any. LOOK AT THE FINE ASS COLLAGE I MADE, EVERYONE CLAP FOR ME COMEON!
Also why is this almost 6k😭 why can I not stop🙏🙏
To the anon who requested - you're allowed to shoot me if it's a hot mess or frankly dog shit. Thank you for being disappointed and still not telling me to fuck off, off this site(as of now).
And as always thank you too this diva @obsessedwidskincare for the last line🥺 that was literally what she said in DMs and I've put it as it is, and for also suggesting MANY scenes in this fic. You're the love of my life after Tom Hiddleston of course.
Thank you to my babygirl @twinblueflamee for suggesting the cute ass nickname! Maano means kitten!
Also meethi toor dal ko koi kuch nahi bolega🔪🔪🔪 varna samaj jao. Meethi toor dal with a little sticky rice is my comfort food😭😋
Also the epilogue look is the same one from Kabul 🥵🥵🤤.
THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION. IT IN NO WAY OR FORM ROMANTICIZES, PROPOGATES OR JUSTIFIES THE ACTS OF CHARACTERS OR ANY REAL LIFE PERSONALITY. IT IS SOLELY WRITTEN IN CONTEXT OF THE CHARACTERS OF THE MOVIE.
Y/n: 8 years old
Jaskirat: 10 years old.
Leaving your home had been the most traumatic memory in your eight little years on earth. Your parents had tried to delay telling you as much as possible because they knew how attached you were to the elderly neighbour. Your Baa who took care of you when you played in the West sun, who cut you your favourite kesar keri in the evening in pieces- just the way you liked it, who made you the crispiest bhakhri when your parents were too late for dinner. She was your grandmother in the real sense. Leaving her would break you, your parents knew so they waited.
Both your parents worked as government officials. Your father was a dam safety inspector who got a transfer order for Pathankot. Your mother, a professor in an agricultural College taught plant pathology. She tried her best to find a job in Pathankot and to your lucky stars she got a place as a professor in the Government Agricultural College.
Your father's friend had offered his abandoned family home for you to live in. His family had moved out from there almost a decade ago. Your parents couldn't be happier to find a home and jobs already.
The day that they told you about the transfer you screamed, fought, ran to Baa's home and locked her in with you. You cried to her how you never wanted to leave her whatsoever and that you preferred the dry, dusty small town of your own people, a bit harsher sun, than lush green fields with fertile soil and moist air of Pathankot. You preferred where people knew you, knew your language, where you were everybody's dhingali. But Baa cradled you to her chest and calmed you down, she told you she would always be there for you whenever you returned. And you foolishly believed. She never broke her promise, right?
The move to Pathankot was quicker than you thought. Your whole world compressed to just the back of a large truck. The house you were to call home was not in some developed city with high rise buildings, it was among the green lush fields. A humble two story house, the top floor with a single room. It was more than enough for the three of you.
The new school was just like the old one, it's just that you did not have any friends here. Your Hindi, even though good, would often lack in communication because of the mixed Punjabi in theirs. You tried your hardest to learn it but the moment the words stopped sounding identical to your already small vocabulary, you were a lost cause. One day during recess, you stood with your tiffin alone near the stairs of the school building so you could finish and leave as soon as possible. It wasn't allowed to eat in class so you did the next best thing.
However, to your shock and surprise a girl you had seen in your class, sitting two benches ahead of you, peered into your lunchbox. Your mother was having a hard time managing work, picking you and dropping you at school and since there was no Baa here to take care of you, she would drop you to different hobby classes, neither of which enticed you. So more often than not your tiffin was filled with warm theplas with some keri no chundo. You liked it, of course you did, but not every third day.
“Ye kya hai?”
She asked, pointing to your tiffin.
“Thepla?”
You answered as if this was common knowledge.
“Are woh to pata hai! Ye acchar hai?”
“Haan, aam ka, lekin meetha hai, thoda sa teekha bhi.”
Jasleen, ever since had tasted food, knew she had a different love for sweet foods. It didn't limit to sweets, for her anything and everything remotely sweet needed to be tasted to see if it was something she'd like.
“Main thoda chakh loon?”
She asked sheepishly, a bit embarrassed.
“Tum chaho toh pura tiffin le lo. Main waise bhi ye nahi khaane wali thi.”
You push your tiffin out for her to take.
“Aelo! Kyun? Tenu bhook ni lagi ki?”
“Lagi toh hai lekin meri mummy ne iss hafte teesri baar bheja hai ye, main aur nahi khaa sakti.”
You sigh in frustration, but to your surprise she thrusts her own tiffin to you.
“Meri biji bhi, pata nahi hafte mein chaar din toh aloo ke parathe bhej deti hain! Meri didi aur bhai ko bohot pasand hai toh woh toh mana nahi karte. Main karti hoon toh biji daant’ti hain. Ek kaam kar mera tiffin tum khaa lo, tumhara main khaa leti hoon!”
The simple exchange of tiffins formed a friendship stronger than anything. For the next two years till you both were ten, you exchanged tiffins almost everyday, when you didn't you shared. Jasleen has become such a constant that the day she dragged you to her house after mother had dropped both of you at her house after begging for a play date for a week straight. Your mothers talked and got to know each other, both of you were giggling like buffoons.
Harleen di was the coolest ever, she knew how to knit, embroidery, and she used to score hundred out of hundred in every math test ever. Her Father was an army officer, often away from home. You didn't understand though, who was he protecting you all from? You didn't ask. Her mother was the sweetest, the moment she knew you loved Punjabi food, it was a feast getting prepared for you. Your little ten year old self ate everything she lovingly prepared, except for the dal. It just didn't feel like dal. You gently pushed the bowl away from your plate and smiled at her in silent apology.
“Kya hua beta? Accha nahi laga?”
“Nahi chachiji, bas mujhe ghar ki hi daal pasand hai”
You answered somewhat honestly.
“Biji, Iha loka dal vica khada pa'unde hana.”
Jaskirat said with an amused chuckle.
Jaskirat Singh Rangi, Jasleen's older brother. Two years older than you, funniest person you ever had the privilege to know. You thought after Jasleen there will never be any place for another best friend ever but her own brother proved you wrong. There was never a dull moment in your life with him in it.
Despite being older he did not dismiss Jasleen like other brothers. He heard what she had to say, played with her, and protected her. You loved that about him. He never thought it was embarrassing to play with you and Jasleen, even though his best friend Pinda, has some choice words to say about it.
“Jasleen tu har baar maalkin banti hai! Iss baar main banungi!”
You whined as every game Jasleen would give you the puppy eyes and you'd always fold, but not today.
“Are lekin-”
“Nahi toh phir main nahi khelungi!”
“Thik hai!”
Jasleen begrudgingly agreed.
You did not notice when between your imaginary play, Jaskirat had joined you. Watching you and Jasleen make imaginary scenarios and drama to entertain your little brains.
“Aaj maano maalkin bani ae? Phir ta main vi khel raha!”
“Accha? Tu kya banega phir? Jasleen toh hai hi ghar ki naukar-”
Jasleen was quick to hit the back of your head.
“Are matlab, assistant!”
You correct yourself.
“Main kya banunga kya matalab? Main banunga maalik haveli ka? Tera gharwala!”
“Haan lekin meri abhi shaadi nahi hui, ek kaam kar tu Jasleen ka bhai hi ban jaa ya driver-”
Before you could finish your sentence, he huffed and left offended.
____________________
Jaskirat: 13 years old
Y/n: 11 years old
When Jasleen got a cycle for her 11th birthday you were the first person after herself who she wanted to ride it. You admitted sheepishly, you did not know how to ride, as after falling over trying to learn once had put an irrational fear in you. Jaskirat however was having none of it. He and Jasleen dragged you early morning to the longest road in Pathankot and bullied, forced and coerced you into learning. Jasleen would run or walk besides you riding the cycle while Jaskirat held the pillion to help you balance.
“Tu chala maine pakda hai, main tenu kabhi nahi chh’danga!”
And he kept his promise until he didn't. He let go and you kept going on without him holding you. You didn't know when he let go, You didn't know this was how it was going to be between you both, always, since now till the end perhaps, you didn't know he wanted to reach out again but he let you fly without him holding you back.
__________________
Jaskirat: 16 years old
Y/n: 14 years old
Jaskirat had his growth spurt. He went from being just a few inches taller than you to gaining a whole foot over you and you hated it. He had also gotten his glow up, if you could say that. Suddenly all the girls in your grade and above, started noticing Jaskirat. Random girls you had never even talked to ever wanted you to pass letters to him, love letters. You hated it. Love letters that too, to jaskirat? Your jaskirat? Your best friend? You hated teenagers.
The annual mela was in full swing, it was crowded but then that's how Mela’s were. Your father had gotten four tickets for the fair rides, which you had begged him to give them to you so you along with the Rangi siblings could go to the Mela together.
“Papa, please ame sathe j reh shu! Jassi ne Harleen di pan che amari sathe. Mummy ke ne papa ne!”
(Papa, please hum saath hi rahenge/ Jassi aur Harleen di bhi hai hamare saath. Mummy Bolo na papa ko!”)
Your father in the end, agreed. So here you were standing in the line for the spinning chair swing. Reluctantly. As always Jasleen and Jaskirat had coerced, bullied and forced you to get on the said ride. Jasleen, despite being an adrenaline junkie, was also scaredy cat. She insisted she’d sit beside Harleen di because according to her if it ever came to sacrificing their life for her it was Harleen di who would do that, Jassi on the other hand was much of a taking someone's life away for her kind. So you had to sit beside Jassi.
To prove your bravery you promised you will not scream nor will you hold his hand in fear, that was until three and a half minutes into the ride. The moment the swing started spinning you were screaming along with all the others, you had unconsciously grabbed Jassi's hand and he had no complaints about it. In fact now was the actual adrenaline rush hitting him that he was searching for in these amusement rides. As the swing started ascending higher, your excitement turned into pure fear. You grabbed Jassi's hand tighter, from holding his hand you snaked up to his arm, his forearm pressed to your chest.
“Jassi inn logon ko bol na neeche le le!”
“Abhi toh upar tak gaya bhi nahi!”
“Pan mane bik lage che Jassi!”
(“But I am scared, jassi!”)
“Are mera haath toh pakda hai ab kya goad mein kheech legi?!”
“Mummy!”
“Meri maano, ther ja, bas thoda sa baaki hai abhi neeche aa jayenge hum.”
“Aje pachi mane kadi besavanu na keto tu!”
(“Aaj ke baad mujhe kabhi isme baithne ko mat bolna!”)
“Haan, haan mat baithna.”
He squeezed your hand.
After the ride came down you practically sprinted out, vowing to never ever sit on such death rides again.
As your luck would have it you saw her, Preeti. Preeti was a year senior and a year junior to jaskirat. She had given you the love letter six times this month alone. And you had thrown it out without opening after the second time. It felt as if reading all that set fire to your heart, you were angry yes, but there was something else you couldn't put your finger on.
“Jassi! Tu ki kar raha hai itthe?”
Preeti said in a shrill, excessively performative girlie voice.
“Main jaan’da aan ennu?”
Jaskirat turns to Jasleen in question. She just shrugged in answer.
“Jassi chal na! Humein abhi doosri jagah bhi jaana hai!-”
Before you could drag him, Jasleen and Harleen di away into the crowd, the girl and her friends surrounded you four.
“Jassi tennu mere khat mile?”
She asked hopefully, twirling her hair between her fingers, giggling without a reason.
“Kede khat? Main tenu jaanda‘aan?”
Jassi confused as ever asked. Preeti turned towards sharply.
“Bola tha na maine tujhe, jassi ko de dena? Kyun nahi diye?”
Her voice an octave higher, exasperated.
“Meri marzi, phenk diye maine. Itna hi zaroori tha toh khud de deti-”
The girl lunged at you, but as if it all happened in a blink of an eye, Jassi had pulled you behind him and Jasleen had, for lack of a better word, smacked her so hard she staggered, almost falling on her friends. Harleen di gasped so loud that several people around turned to see the commotion.
Before shit hit the fan, Jassi pulled both of you into the most crowded area of the fair, holding both of your hands as tight as possible, while Harleen di tried her best to keep her pace with the three of you. After what felt like forever you all exited the fair. After stopping by the entrance, you all looked at each other exasperated before dissolving into the hysterical laughter. You described how by now almost twelve girls had tried to give you things to pass on to Jassi. While Jassi was blushing Harleen di and Jasleen were having the time of their lives teasing him.
Walking back home through the narrow lanes between the fields, Harleen di and Jasleen were walking ahead of you, while you and Jassi trailed behind.
“Padhe the tune woh khat?”
“Kyun? Tujhe Jan’na hai kya likha tha?”
“Haan? Kyun mere liye hi toh the woh.”
“Haan toh ek kaam kar, jaa wahan wapis aur poochle ussi se kya likha tha usne, mujhse kyun pooch raha hai?”
“Are gussa kyun ho rahi hai? Nahi Jan'na bas! Lekin ye toh bata ki kyun nahi dikhaye mujhe? Phenk diye ya jala diye?”
He asked, teasing, leaning down towards you.
“Tu che ne, tel leva jaa! Dobo!”
(You know what? Get lost! Idiot!)
“Are!”
You briskly walk away from him and over take, Jasleen and Harleen di to walk to your home without looking back.
“Gadha bola usne mujhe?”
“Woh toh gadedho hota hai. Kuch aur kaha usne, kya kiya tune usse?”
Harleen di twisted his ear, scolding him the whole way back home.
___________
Jaskirat: 18 years
Y/n: 16 years
You and Jaskirat laid down on the ground, between the green lush fields his family had grown.
“Toh tu nahi maanega?”
“Nahi. Maine hamesha se fauj mein bharti hona tha, aur meri maa aur babuji bhi yahi chaunde’en.”
“Lekin phir tu hum sab se pata nahi saal mein ek baar milega shayad. Abhi bhi soch le.”
“Tu bhi soch le. Yahin ruk jaa tu bhi mat jaa.”
Jassi said, turning to face towards you.
“Tu jaanta hai, main mere mummy papa se lad kar jagad kar bhi jaaungi. Shayad ab hum bade ho gaye hain. Humesha in galiyon aur kheton mein khelte thodi rahenge. Tu apni fauj mein aur main mere college mein.”
“Toh ek baar meri training and posting ho jaye and teri padhai puri ho jaye phir HUMARE ghar mein fauji aur teacherji dono honge”
You blush at the implication, it felt….good. But he must not have meant it like that right?
“Woh toh pehle se hai hi! Tere baba fauji aur meri mummy professor. Lekin mujhe toh iss baat ki excitement hai ki Harleen di ka vyaah ho jayega, Jasleen aur pinda ka bhi ho jaayega. Kitna maza aayega!”
“Itna sab soch liye toh humare vyaah ka kya socha hai?”
“Hmm, kuch khaas nahi. Hoga toh kar lungi main. Aur tera toh vyaah biji pehli hi baar tu posting se waapis aayega tab kara dengi woh!”
“Ek minute, kya matlab hoga toh kar legi? Mera hua toh tera bhi hoga na?”
“Are tu kue mein koodega toh main thodi na koodungi! Dobo!
(idiot)
He sat up in exasperation. Before he could make you understand what he was implying, you saw Jasleen running up to you and Jaskirat. It would have to wait.
_______________
Jaskirat: 19 years
Y/n: 17 years
You were trying to make sarson da saag aur makke di roti. Jassi had passed his written exams for armed forces, you on the other hand had convinced your parents to let you get into a national college to study your passion - physics. Despite repeatedly being told that a career in pure sciences was either a hit or a miss you did not back down. So, to celebrate you tried to make Jassi's favourite meal, tried being the key word here.
“Biji mujhse nahi hoga, aap hi kar do please.”
You cry out in frustration as the roti came out burnt from one side and raw from the other.
“Are aise kaise, karogi to aayega na.”
“Lekin main lassi nahi banaungi, aap jaanti hain mujhe dahi se kuch kuch hota hai.”
“Le toh main kya karunga? Mujhe toh lassi ke bina nahi chalega!”
Jassi reasons, more like whines.
“Toh khud bana le!”
“Mujhe toh aata hi hai! Khaana banana bhi aur lassi banana bhi, tu seekh le!”
“Biji aap ek kaam karna dahej mein isse mere saath bhej dena, meri shaadi ke baad ye mera ghar sambhalega.”
The moment these words left your mouth everybody stopped whatever they were doing. The glass Jaskirat was holding fell to the floor.
“Biji maine ghusand maar dena hai isse kisi din! Main jaa raha, pinda ke yahan! Aap banalo aur khaa lo!”
Jaskirat leaves home in frustration and anger(?).
“Kya hua? Maine kuch galat kaha? Mazak tha!”
Biji shook her head and took the rolling pin from your hand and Jasleen took you out of the kitchen.
Two days later you were strolling with Jasleen, Pinda and Jaskirat along the dam. Pinda and Jasleen were walking behind you because Jaskirat did NOT want to see his sister being all lovie dovie with his best friend. It was a cold night so your mother had forced you to wear gloves and a jacket. Walking besides Jassi, his hand would brush your arm often.
“Kinni thand hai, mera hath khad le, sardi na lag jaaye.”
“Are yaar, kahan thand hai? Ye le, mujhe mummy ne zabardasti pehnaye hai. Tu pehen le.”
You remove your gloves and hand them to him. Looking at him expectedly so he'd wear them.
He kept looking at you for a minute before he put them on and pushed his hands in his pockets huffing. His face held such disappointment you felt like you've said him to jump off the dam.
________________
Jaskirat: 20 years
Y/n:18 years
You and Jassi were again laying in the middle of the lush field, but this time it was very different. You had gotten the date for your entrance exam for your dream college. You had to travel to Delhi for a week because your father insisted on being there a week ahead of the exam. Coincidentally Jassi had passed his physical exam and had been selected for the training camp. Luckily it was in Pathankot district itself but he would not be able to meet you all for almost a year or so.
Which meant this might be your last meeting before not meeting each other for a year, if you did not return in a week.
“Menu teri badi yaad ayegi maano.”
“Mane pan.”
(Mujhe bhi)
“Mujhe tujhse kuch khena hai.”
Jaskirat sat up, and tugged at your hand to ask you to do as well.
“Zaroori hai?”
“Bohot”
“Phir mere aane ke baad batana.”
“Lekin kyun?”
“Main apni exam poore man se bina kisi distraction ke.”
“Main smajta hoon. Tu aaja jaldi vapis, main yahin hoounga. Bas zyada wakt mat lagana.”
You nodded your eyes misty. You leaned in to hug him, which he reciprocated with a deep sigh. When you broke the hug, he leaned back but his face was still too close to yours. His eyes bore into yours and before you knew it your body shook with a sneeze. He leaned back, a full belly laughter. You shook your head smiling fondly, not knowing he had finally gathered enough courage to try to kiss you but the moment had passed.
___________
The moment you stepped foot in your house you knew something was wrong. There was no way Jasleen would ever not be at your home to greet you after two weeks of not meeting you. Your father and you decided to go through nearby prospective colleges, just to have an idea, extending your stay by a week more.
Your mother cried in your arms, narrating everything, while sobbing in between. Your father and you left for Jaskirat’s home as soon as possible. You ran, naked feet, bleeding, without a sense, the only thing in your head- Jasleen. Yes, Jaskirat was the love of your life but you had made peace with the possibility of losing him, to someone else or to an enemy's bullet, but Jasleen was supposed to be your life line. She was your heart and blood and soul.
The moment you saw Biji alone, you dropped to your knees, took her in your arms as both of you cried. She told you how they had taken Jasleen. Killed Jaskirat's father, his body still under the tree where he was hanged. Biji cried over his body. Harleen's body was not even describable. You puked, from the grief, the horror, the disgust. You screamed and cried for your sisters.
The moment you saw Biji alone, you dropped to your knees, took her in your arms as both of you cried. She told you how they had taken Jasleen. Killed Jaskirat's father, his body still under the tree where he was hanged. Biji cried over his body. Harleen's body was not even describable. You puked, from the grief, the horror, the disgust. You screamed and cried for your sisters.
The moment Jassi returned, he embraced his mother, crying for his father and sister, for not being there to protect them.
“Jassi! Jassi! Jaskirat! Jasleen wahan hai! Zinda hai! Usse le kar aa.”
You grabbed his face, looked into his eyes and wiped his tears.
“Meri baat sun, agar usse le kar nahi aaya toh mera bhi mara muh dekhega. Ye rone ka wakt nahi hai.”
You knew your words were harsh but they were needed to pull him out of his grief.
_____________________________
Jaskirat: 21 years
Y/n: 19 years
Jaskirat was arrested, tried and sentenced to death. You got Jasleen back but lost Jaskirat. This was not how you were supposed to lose him. He hugged his mother for the last time, asked Jasleen to only marry pinda if he leaves his father's junkie ways. He turned to you the last.
“Jassi, sun mujhe tujhse kuch kehna hai.”
“Zaroori hai?”
You sobbed into his chest nodding.
“Bohot”
“Phir mere aane ke baad batana.”
You hugged him to your chest hard, as if you wanted him to merge into yourself so you wouldn't have to let him go. You sobbed till you couldn't. You pressed your trembling lips to his cheek, the salt of his tears soaked your lips.
“Jassi, tu jaanta hai na?”
“Jaanta hoon, meri maano, jaanta hoon.”
______________________
Jaskirat: -
Y/n: 20 years
You sat on the porch of Jaskirat’s home. News of Jaskirat's kidnapping from custody only meant he was dead. Someone from Sukhwindar’s side must've been looking for revenge. Everybody believed it, you didn't. You had so much to tell him yet. You had to tell him that he was the love of your life. He said he'd come back right?
Breaking your reverie of thoughts, you saw Pinda stumbling through the threshold of the house.
“Abe Jassi baar aa! Baar aa Jassi! Dekh main pee kar aaya hoon! Teri bhen naal vyaah karna aae mainu! Tenu koi fark ni painda?!”
Pinda screamed on top of his lungs. Jasleen and Biji came out running.
“Guzbaaz, ghar jaa. Tu hosh mein nahi hai.”
“Oye chup! Maine bas Jassi se baat karni’ae”
“Guzbaaz Jassi nahi hai-”
You try to push him out of the house.
“JASKIRAT BAHR NIKA-”
“MAR GAYA JASKIRAT! MAR GAYA WOH! AUR TU DEKH APNE AAP KO! YE WAADA KIYA THA USSE? JASLEEN SE AISE SHAADI KAREGA? NASHEDI BAN KAR?!”
You finally lost your composure, screaming at his face.
“HAAN TOH TERA KEDA JASSI NAAL VYAAH HO GAYA? TU VI TAAN AKELI RE GAYI!”
“Guzbaaz, kya bakwaas kar raha hai! Ismein main aur jassi kahan se beech mein aaye?”
“Beech mein? Mere aur Jasleen se pehle se the tum dono! Jassi ka din nahi jaata tha tere bina. Vyaah karna chahta tha tere naal woh.”
“Kya-”
“Tune kabhi uska pyaar vekhaya hi nai. Hamesha andekha kiya. Nahi kari thi usse pyaar? Ya andhi thi?”
“Jassi mujhse-”
“Haan! Kya kaha tha tune usse aakhri baar? Tu lautegi phir kahe woh apne dil ki baat? Aa gayi thi tu wapas, wakt se? Ho gaya tera admission? Mil gaya tujhe tera sapna? MAR GAYA WOH! KARLE TU APNE SAPNE POORE! SAARI ZINDAGI TERE PYAAR KE KATRE KE LIYE TARSA WOH, AUR USSI PYAAS MEIN MAR-”
“GUZBAAZ BAS!”
Biji pushed him out of the house, and dragged you inside. You cried in her lap. You cried for the first time after the news of his kidnapping. You cried remembering all those moments of your obliviousness. It would've pulled laughs out of everyone, had he been here. You realised, he had never hid it, he was as clear about it as it came. You wasted your whole life pining after a man who was already in love with you.
___________________________
Jaskirat: 41 years
Y/n: 39 years
You walked through the corridor of college, nodding at the students in response to the good morning wishes. Reaching to your classroom, you greeted students while placing all your things on the table.
“Good morning everyone, I don't have much time to waste today, I am not in the mood to stretch the class more than I need to. I know it's biophysics, and all of you took physics because you didn't like biology but this is the necessary evil. Now let's start without-”
Your words got stuck in your throat as your gaze got stuck at the end of the classroom. Among the last benches a man sat, thick beard, sunglasses on. You could be wrong but you didn't want to be.
The whole lecture on cardiac fibrillation physics, you spent looking at the stranger right into their eyes. You felt a thin sheen of tears welling up in your eyes. Was it really him? Only if it wasn't for the glasses you would've known the very second your eyes met.
After dismissing the class, while you gathered your stuff and students filtered out, he remained in his seat. You cleared your throat.
“Main campus mein hi rehti hoon, ghar chal kar baat karein, Rangi?”
To your surprise and amusement, he looked shocked. He removed his glasses, nodded and followed you. The walk to your apartment was a short one, you didn't look back to see if he was following or not but his heavy footsteps were anchors for your mind.
You opened the front lock with shaking hands. When finally in, you point towards the couch, again without looking at him, you thought he'd get the memo. He did not.
“Main chai le kar aati hoon.”
“Maano, sun-”
“Kidhu ne tu bes tya, cha lai ne avvu chu.”
(Kaha na baith wahan, chai le kar aati hoon”)
You walked into the kitchen, trying not to break down. You pulled out a pot to make the tea but a sob wreaked you like a storm before you could even place it on the stove. It clattered on the floor and you held the edge of the kitchen platform to brace yourself.
“Meri maano, mujhe maaf karde-”
Jaskirat hugged you, your back to his chest and his arms around your midsection. And as if his touch has opened all the dams of grief, longing, yearning, pain, love and everything you've ever felt for him for all these years, you broke down wailing. You both dissolved into a heap of limbs on the floor. You tried to hug him as close as possible. You cried harder when you realised he didn't smell like Jaskirat anymore.
You grabbed his face, it was jagged with scars, healing stitches, a burden beyond years he had spent away from home. You kissed his face, anywhere your lips could land, on his eyelids, nose, cheek, beard, anywhere. You kissed him. His lips. Did they feel the same way they would've if you had kissed your Jaskirat? You'd never know.
He leaned and sighed into the kiss. There were no words exchanged between shared breaths and kisses. Even with him this close it felt as if he was worlds apart. One thing led to another and before you knew it, both of you were closer than ever, closer than you've ever been. You felt him in your body and in your soul, maybe he needed it too. It had been him fro you from that start, it had always been him, it will always be him.
Laying on his chest, basking in the afterglow, silent tears of grief rolling your eyes. He narrated everything that had happened. The kidnapping, Ajay Saniyal, lthe recruitment, the training, joining the gang, 26/11, Rehman Dakait’s death, ascending to the throne of Lyari, the gang wars, killings of countless terrorists, Aalam bhai and pinda, getting caught and coming back home, not meeting his mother or sister. How could he? Pinda died in his home, did he kill him? No. Was he the reason Pinda died? Somewhat.
“Guzbaaz bohot vakt se akela hi rehta tha Jassi. Jasleen ghar waapas aa gai thi baccho ke saath. Usne bacchon ka bhi nahi socha, Jassi. Hum sab jaante the ki kisi din yahi hona hai lekin woh itni ghatiya-”
He shushed you, his fingers threading through your hair.
“Ghar par sab kaise hain? Tu yahan kyun rehti hai?”
“Tere bina jaise ho sakte hai, waise. Jeena seekhne ki phir koshish kari sab ne. Bacche aa gaye phir thoda aasan ho gaya. Mummy-Papa vapas Gujarat chale gaye. Main college chali gayi thi. Padhai puri ki phir yahan wapas aa gayi.”
“Tu nahi gayi apne maa-baba ke saat, ghar?”
“Mera ghar toh hamesha yahin tha Jassi. Tu na sahi, Biji aur Jasleen toh yahin the.”
“Mujhe maaf karde, zindagi barbaad kardi maine tum-”
You slapped him lightly across his cheek.
“Daffod, zindagi barbaad kardi? Tu Jasleen ko naa laya hota toh main sach mein naa jee paati. Papa ne commissioner tak se baat kar li thi, woh log chhut jaate doosre hi din. Tune sahi kiya.”
(Idiot)
“Ghar chalengi mere saath? Biji aur Jasleen ke paas?”
You wipe his tears and nod.
“Bilkul chalungi. Unhi ke saath rehti hoon jab yahan nahi hoti. Waise bacche mujhe mami bulate hain.”
“Accha? Humara vyaah ho gaya hai? Akal aa gayi tujhe? Accha, chasma lagati hai ab iss liye na?”
“Kya matlab hai tera!? Tune kabhi kuch bataya saaf-saaf?”
“Main tujhe chedta toh tha! Aur kya karta? Ghar se utha leta kya? Saare pind nu pata’aan bas tennu chadd ke”
“Main tera dimag thodi padh leti! Tu toh bachpan se mujhe chedta-”
You trail your words as you realise you've really been blind. He gave you the most deadpan look ever.
“Bachpan se?”
You whispered.
“Bachpan se.”
He answered.
_______________ EPILOGUE
Jaskirat: 45 years old
Y/n: 43 years old
You walk into your classroom as always. It was filled to the brim as usual. When you were in the middle of teaching about the fluid dynamics of non-Newtonian fluid, you saw a figure looming over the door of the classroom. There stood your husband, your son and your baby daughter. As expected all the students with an attention span of 43 seconds in total, turned to look at your family.
Your husband has the effect on people. After his return, he would frequently come to the campus to see you. You'd see girls and guys swooning over him. His rugged looks, his body, his hair, his eyes, you got it really. But it did not subside even after it was a public knowledge that he wasn't your ‘boyfriend’ anymore but your husband. One kid later you thought girls and guys would back off, but only thing changed was that Jassi was promoted to DILF now. After the second child you gave up on the hope. Anybody with working eyes would anna oogle him.
“Aap logon ko yahaan padhaya jaa raha hai, unn logon ko aap se koi kaam nahi hai, mujhse hai. Aur aap logon ko bhi hona chahiye. Yahaan dhyaand dedo!”
You sighed in frustration. Your daughter who was till now sleeping peacefully on your husband’s shoulder was now wide awake and had spotted her target already. The moment you started teaching again, she would blabber in response whenever you asked the class a question. The classroom would break into a wave of laughter. After it happened for the eighth time you looked at the clock.
“Aaj yahin khatam karte hain. Tum logon ko koi jawab nahi aata aur jisko aata hai mujhe uska samaj nahi aata aur naa woh is class mein hai. Next lecture mein padh kar aana, quiz hogi. Happy early lunch and weekend, guys.”
The chorus of whines and frustrated sighs was music to your ears. The moment you excited the classroom and your daughter saw you close enough, she started squirming in her father's hold, squealing as if she had not seen you for years. Jassi handed you your daughter with an eye roll, while your son wrapped his little arms around you. You couldn't help but feel like your heart was going to burst with love.
For the world, Jaskirat Singh Rangi died 15 years ago but within these walls, Jassi is finally happy with his family.
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