𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐊𝐘𝐋𝐈𝐄

wait, wait, wait.. are you coming to europe? damn, ky, that's the best fucking news i've heard in a while. tae's been off playing model in paris for the past few days, and i could definitely use your company. barricade and vip, only the best for you. so, when can i expect your arrival?

i thought i'd be able to make it out, but that hot mom life took over. i love being a mom and i love being hot, but being both at the same time? it's hard work, babe. hard. fucking. work. i've missed hanging out with you though. so how about i hit up a few us tour dates to make it up for you? we could get drunk in your hotel room and eat roomservice on one of the nights, hit the clubs for another, have a private tour of a random zoo somewhere after hours?

how's my favourite doing? and by that, i obviously mean your kids. you're alright, too, i guess. @kyliejenncr

not funny, ni... not funny. my kids are fucking amazing and i won't deny you that, but i'd like to think i'm a bit better than okay. but stormi and aire are doing well. living that kiddo life. although summer vacay is starting to wear me down.

I'm here, actually, which means your plan has started. Now you can try to recruit me in person, and I have a feeling you're much more convincing face-to-face. Feel free to make your pitch. I'm already fifty per cent convinced, you just have to finish the job and push me over the line.

i'm so sad i missed you and that you were already there, because that takes away some of my plans to convince you to be a face for kylie cosmetics. but a face to face meeting can be arranged. how about a nice brunch with mimosas and whatever else you british boys like. fifty percent convinced is fifty percent too little. i better get cracking on a plan. no, but in all seriousness, how are we doing? what have you got coming up?

i promise i haven't forgotten my promise to give Aire drumming lessons, this tour schedule has just got me completely out of whack. we got a little break coming next month after we play a show in Inglewood and maybe we can get together after that? i've got a little over a week off the road, so plenty of time to get those lessons started. might need a few days to sleep off the exhaustion but then i can play teacher until your boy gets bored.

the tour schedule? mhmm, sure. just say you don't want to hang out with me and my kid. no, but seriously, you guys work so hard, so if you come over i'll promise to make you a nice brunch spread, vegemite and all, even though the smell alone makes me nauseous. that's how much this friendship means to me. you can sleep in the guest bedroom and be woken up by my kid's screaming while running through the house, if you want? i'll have to get you goggles too, since aire's been a fan of tossing up the drumsticks lately. he just needs some work on the catching part.

alright so, i have been in the studio and that’s all i can tell you. i’ve been performing tho and doing some pop ups so no one’s completely in the dark. you’re so sweet i would love if you threw me a listening party. as soon as i get some things together i’ll let you know the theme so you can start prepping for it.

that's all you can tell me? the disappointment i'm feeling right now is unreal, mani. you're fantastic, amazing, a global fucking star, but i'm going to need more to make it the best party ever, so i guess i'll have to put a pin in that for now and go cry in bed for a year or more until you release something.

i can only imagine how much patience it required. did you enjoy yourself that night? mmm, good question. probably not, now that i'm thinking about it. i prefer staying home and judging from my couch like the fashion expert that i'm so clearly not.

definitely, but not more patience than being a mom. now that? that requires the patience of a saint, which i am definitely not. come on, drew. i bet you could rock that red carpet and blow them all out of the water. all you need is a good designer and team and with how big your name is getting out there? i think you'd do great.

He misses me? Or course he does, that kid has always had the best taste. Being the only sibling in the family really means I fight for the best auntie position and if kids are asking for me, I must be doing something right. Okay, fine. I'll stop being mysterious and come on over. It's been too long and I've missed them both. If you want, I'll bring over some takeout and we can make a real day out of it? I miss spending my time with you too, Ky.

you'll always be both my kids' favorite aunt, because you're my favorite person on earth. when are you coming over then? because it's been too long and i think making a day of it sounds nice. maybe bring dinner and then i'll get someone to take the little menaces for the night and you and i get shitfaced on 818 and talk life shit. because i feel like i'm so behind on anything kendall related. simply unacceptable.

Come on… you're kidding, that's the cutest thing I've heard in so long. He's now officially my favourite. I hate that kids can't watch stuff I'm in because everything is aimed at an older audience, which only tells me I gotta start doing more all-ages projects. Tell him I'll be waiting to officially welcome him to the fan club when the day finally comes that he can watch these things!

he's going to grow up and be a little heartbreaker, but for now he's only got eyes for one woman and it's not his mom. it's a certain british babe who looks like a disney princess. i think you should do a few all-ages projects soon, if not for my son's approval, then to enlarge the fan-base to include the younger generation. oh, stop it! i tell him that and he'll demand to meet you so unless you're willing to follow through... i won't tell him a thing.

you seem like the perfect person to ask. especially since we have only recently become friends. i'm going to try to go out of my comfort zone with clothes. are we up for a shopping date? i'm tempted to give you free reign and pick things out for me. @kyliejenncr

uh, why are you even asking? i know we've only recently become friends, but you can literally show up anytime at my house with a credit card and a dream and i will hook you up. stop it! you're letting me dress you? are we thinking princess chic? or something more edgy to combat that innocent vibe you give off?

𝘵𝘦𝘹𝘵 𝘮𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘢𝘨𝘦 - 𝘬𝘺𝘭𝘪𝘦

i've accepted that social media has decided i'm supposed to know what you're up to at all times. i don't even follow you and somehow i still know when you've changed your hair color, launched something, or gone on vacation. i'm honestly kind of impressed. @kyliejenncr

the power of social media is wild and i love it. you must've done something, because we create our own algorithms, babe. the fact that you don't follow me though? a dagger through the heart. how about you run to the nearest social media app and do that right now? thank you! i've spent years building my brand so i'm glad you've caught on to some of it. what's the last thing you learned about me through the power of social media?