Krazycat101

(or: this crossover needs more attention and sometimes you gotta be the snake oil you want to see in the world)

Part Two

(Luz, Amity, Cass, and Steph are stuck in Riddler's latest Escape Room Of Death (Or At Least Very Threatening Special Effects))

Steph: *starts whisper-arguing with Cass about whether or not to get involved as civilians*

Amity, unaware and moving towards the door with Intent To Slime: want me to-

Luz: don't worry I got this!

Luz, pulling a snake (???) out of her shirt: go, little power noodle, go!

Stringbean: *snakeshifts their tail into a key and unlocks the door*

Cass, slowly putting her lockpicks away: 0_o

Steph, to Cass: was that a snake? That was a snake, right?

(Luz, being Luz, ends up face-to-face with Black Mask in the absolute worst part of town)

Black Mask, one vaguely sarcastic comment away from murdering the random teen that just wandered into his high-profile drug deal: you have one chance to explain who you work for and how you got here, or I carve the answer out of you with a knife.

Luz, squinting at him:

Luz "Belos Was Turning Me To Stone And My First Instinct Was To Sass His Terrible Fashion Choices" Noceda: well aren't you just a ball of sunshine

Red Hood, interrupting the deal with Black Mask and coming face-to-face with a teen who was alarmingly unfazed by the whole event: do you have a death wish?

Luz: no, but it loses its edge after the first time

Luz: I mean, been there done that amirite?

Red Hood, processing:

Red Hood, hoping he wildly misread the context clues: you've died before?

Luz: well yeah

Luz, seeing an opportunity to cause chaos: but I came back thanks to the power of god and anime

Red Hood: ???

I'm moving to Canada

I’ve heard of Pagans being contacted by their gods via certain Tarot Cards, so I wanted to do a deep dive and outline which Cards are associated with which Gods. Hopefully this can help you tell which God is reaching out to you :)

Major Arcana

The Fool: Pan, Zeus, Dionysus, Loki, Hermes

The Magician: Hermes, Thoth, Odin,

The High Priestess: Hekate, Selene, Isis, Artemis, Freya, Ganesha, Tsukiyomi

The Empress: Aphrodite, Hera, Freya, Frigg, Isis, Hathor, Durga, Astarte, Demeter, Ishtar The Emperor: Zeus, Lugh, Odin, Horus, Ares, Osiris, Ra

The Hierophant: Osiris, Athena, Thoth, Seshat, Ogma, Horus, Apollo, Hermes, Odin, Brigid, Saraswati, Ganesha

The Lovers: Aengus Og, Aphrodite, Frigg, Rhea, Gaia, Demeter, Inanna, Ishtar, Parvati, Hathor, Isis, Brigid, Freya, Osiris, Cernunnos, Freyr, Dionysus, Pan The Chariot: Thor, The Morrigan, Nike, Athena, Astarte, Inanna, Ishtar, Anat, Freya, Bast, Durga, Odin, Horus, Sobek, Ares, Apollo, Set, Bellona

Justice: Lugh, Aengus Og, The Morrigan, Nemesis, Inanna, Themis, Ma’at, Nike, Athena, Zeus, Forseti

Strength: Thor, Hestia, Athena, Sekhmet, Bast, Macha, Brigid, Danu, Isis, The Virgin Mary, Bast, Sekhmet, The Dagda, Lugh

The Hermit: Odin, Isis, Hestia, Persephone, Hades, Hekate, Cerridwen, Brigid, The Muses, Saraswati, Hermes, Ogma, Odin

Wheel of Fortune: Zeus, Hathor, Isis, The Dagda, The Moirai, Maat, Arianhrod

The Hanged Man: Odin, Artemis, Osiris, Persephone, Inanna, Ishtar, Buddha, Jesus

Death: Persephone, Inanna, Ereshkigal, Isis, Nephtys, Izanami, Hel, Freya, Hades, Seth, Anubis, Osiris, Manannan Mac Lir, Odin, Thanatos, The Morrigan, Morana

Temperance: Artemis, Isis, Nepthys, Iris, Ma’at, Hebe, Apollo, Vishnu

The Devil: Dionysus, Pan, Set, Lilith, The Morrigan, Banshees, Baba Yaga, Lucifer, Baphomet, Satan, Veles, The Horned God

The Tower: Kali, Ares, Pele, Sekhmet, Hel, The Morrigan, Sedna, Anat, Ceres, Chernobog, Shiva

The Star: Aphrodite, Thoth, Hermes, Ishtar, Astrea, Isis, Arianhrod, The Virgin Mary, Inanna, Nuit, Isis, Nodens, Zorya

The Moon: Artemis, Hekate, Rhiannon, Cerridwen, Selene, Isis, Phoebe, Mani, Thoth, Arianhrod, Tsukiyomi, Chang-e

The Sun: Lugh, Apollo, Kupala, Helios, Brigid, Sol, Artemis, Athena, Aine, Bast, Sekhmet, Freyr, Horus, Aten, Ra, Agni

Judgement: Persephone, Ma’at, Osiris, Hephaestus, Isis, Kuan Yin, Horus, Hades

The World: Aengus Og, Demeter, The Dagda, Isis, Gaia, Cernunnos, Green Man

The Suits

Suit of Swords: The Morrigan, Freya, Hades, Odin, Athena, Hel

Suit of Wands: Lugh, Hephaestus, Ares, Bellona, Pele, Aine, Brigid, Apollo

Suit of Pentacles: Gaia, Demeter, Macha, Freyr

Suit of Cups: Poseidon, Aphrodite, Isis, Boann, Hera, Hathor

Kings

King of Pentacles: The Horned God, Freyr, Pan, Cernunnos, The Dagda

King of Cups: Lugh, Poseidon, Manannan Mac Lir, Njord, Apollo

King of Swords: Odin, Tyr, Zeus, Hermes, Horus

King of Wands: Ares, The Dagda, Zeus, Apollo

Queens

Queen of Pentacles: Hekate, Gaia, Eostre, Aine, Artemis, Ceres, Demeter

Queen of Cups: Aphrodite, Venus, Hera

Queen of Swords: The Morrigan, Freya, Athena, Themis

Queen of Wands: Brigid, Hestia, Bellona, Aine

Knights

Knight of Pentacles: Athena, Athena, Macha, Persephone, Lugh, Artemis, Demeter, Ceres

Knight of Cups: Aphrodite, Boann, Isis, Hathor

Knight of Swords: Badb, The Morrigan, Athena, Hermes, Nemain

Knight of Wands: Apollo, Brigid, Bellona, Lugh

Pages

Page of Pentacles: Athena, Apollo, Lugh, Pan, The Muses, Hathor

Page of Cups: Aphrodite, Lada

Page of Swords: The Morrigan, Freya, Odin, Athena, Nike, Bellona

Most characters in mythologies are personifications of concepts, or embody some natural phenomenon - like the story of Hades and Persephone is there to explain why the seasons change, Persephone being spring, Demeter - summer, and the absence of them both resulting in death (Hade's domain) and winter, and so we can't have Persephone stay in underworld all year round or have Demeter steal her back to earth permanently, otherwise they myth would lose its core function.

Interpreting the myth without the lense of the natural phenomena that it explains would make it lose an integral part of itself, and therefore make the plot and characters seem strange or unnatural. Why does Demeter hate Hades so much, seeing how so many mothers are okay with Zeus doing atrocious things to their offspring just because he's Zeus? Does Persephone actually want to stay or not? What's with the bizarre arrangement?

Most modern interpretations strip myths of their natural contexts, making them character-driven instead of phenomena-driven, which just makes them land differently - they can still be fine stories, just not myths, not is the traditional sense.

And now we get to this beauty. This is absolutely a myth, the most classical kind. The relationship between characters, who are personifications of objects, phenomena or concepts (in this case, online platforms) used as an intuitively understood metaphor for an event (the demise of Twitter and the Tumblr userbase being unwilling to accept Twitter's userbase).

The modern myth that is The Divorce of Tumblr and Twitter carries the themes of regression, corruption and downfall. Some of Twitter userbase used to be part of Tumblr userbase, but they left and changed (corruption). Now that Twitter is becoming uninhabitable (downfall), people are trying to return to Tumblr (regression, possible downfall of Tumblr), and to keep them off Tumblr is returning to its old cringe self (regression).

There once lived a young man, handsome as daylight, bright and strong. He was known as Twitter, beloved by the people, a favorite of the gods. His chosen companion, Tumblr, was not dear to the people or the gods. He, a traveling storyteller, preferred solitude. His tales were strange and often unpleasant to the ears, but enchanting in their vulgarity. 

One day, Tumblr's patron goddess, Yahoo, enraged by his vulgar words, put a curse on him. He was not to utter vulgarities, speak of the pleasures of the flesh. His stories of lycanthrope companions were lost to the sands of time, and with them, his last listeners turned away from him. 

Twitter watched others laugh at his beloved, turn him away from their doors, and a dark thought settled over him. He was perfect in every way, his only fault was the affiliation with the cursed taleweaver. And so, little by little, they drifted apart. 

In his travels, Tumblr stumbled into the temple of Apollo, who bestowed upon him the gift of prophecy. He made acquaintance with the trifecta of wise temple maidens who induced visions through hallucinogenic incense. His stories changed, still bizarre and often vulgar, but at times full of wonder and truth. 

At that time, Twitter enjoyed all the luxuries of the mortal world. He was the companion of kings, wealthy merchants, legendary heroes, wise philosophers. 

One day, a man richer than rich, richer than the God of wealth, went to the senate of directors and asked to buy the most precious thing in the entire polis. 

The senate thought long and hard, and said: "do you wish for our finest singer, the most sweet-voiced of the land, Spotifia? I am afraid I cannot part with her. "

"No, " said the rich man, his voice cold and harsh, "I said I have come to buy your most precious thing."

"Have you come for our gambler, the chosen of the god of luck, MAXimil? They earn us more riches than you can offer. I shall not part with them. "

"No," the rich man repeated, "I have come to buy your most precious thing. I have come for Twitter."

The senators laughed, then, for they knew this must be a joke. Twitter was too beloved by the gods to be owned as a servant. But the rich man did not smile. He offered money, then more and more still. As the goddess of hubris clouded his mind, he offered more money than he could afford to spend, more than the senate could afford to refuse, for it was enough gold to form armies five times the size of their polis. 

And so Twitter, the proud Twitter, the untouchable Twitter who laughed at kings and scholars alike, became a servant. 

As he was put onto a gilded ship to be sailed off to the rich man's land, he prayed to the gods that granted him beauty and strength and a sharp tongue, but none answered. His cruelty and vanity made them turn away, and he was too full of his power to notice. 

Finally, the young man remembered one more name. He called for Tumblr, his forgotten companion. 

First time he called, the birds took off and flew in all directions. Second time he called, the animals fled in fear. Gathering all the strength he had, he called a third time.

His call shook the earth and the skies, and in an instant, Apollo's taleweaver stood on the shore. 

Twitter cried in relief. "My love!" he called, "save me! Save me, and I shall be yours for the eternity to come. I shall bask you in glory and riches. I shall make the people love you."

Tumblr looked at the rich old man, at the gilded ship, gilded chains, at the other slaves that were meant to please the rich man during his trip, dressed in the finest clothes fit for kings and immortals. 

I think there's multiple morals that one can take from what Writing-is-a-martial-art made! so, here's a list of some of the morals someone could take away from this:

Love (or trust) is earned, not given

This one because, when Twitter was on the boat, calling out for Tumblr, he was so used to love being given to him on a silver tray that he even expected it from the person he wronged (debatably) most of all.

The rich and beautiful are no better than the poor and destitute

Speaks for itself, really. Twitter believed he was superior to Tumblr because of his beauty and his connections with the rich and famous, but, when Tumblr could've saved Twitter, Twitter's riches meant nothing. Tumblr, for the most part, was happier without such things. What Tumblr did subsequently proved was that Twitter was not a god, not a blessing, but just a man.

Being yourself will attract people who like you

On the other side of the coin, you could take something away from Tumblr's side of the story. Yes, they were cursed and ridiculed, but that did not stop them from continuing to be themself. they continued to sing their songs, to tell their stories, to speak of earthly pleasures and feelings despite their situation. Unlike their past-lover, they were poor and hated, but that didn't matter to them. It wouldn't matter to Tumblr if they were living in the depths of Hades, or on mount Olympus, because they were happy. This, in turn, lead them to the temple of Apollo, where they befriended the trifecta of temple maidens. The point is, is that Apollo and the maidens didn't like Tumblr for their riches-- they had none. they liked tumblr for who they were, for their passion and creativity.

you can probably tell that the last one probably has the most evidence for it.

anyways i'm now gonna go think up some more stories about social media platforms because this is fun