i'm gonna do a deep dive into this costume from raison d'etre:

i think people (im people) have mostly theorized that this costume is a representation of shu and mika being each other's bride and groom, and while i 100% think that's true, i think it's ALSO an amazing reference to 17th century french burlesque ballet and shu and his grandfather's relationships with gender/femininity.

our lives matter more than your fucking nostalgia.

Like wow how interesting that Tsukasa had to pretty much submerge himself into a mindset he never would have normally considered and Mafuyu's true thoughts had to emerge from being submerged and in these particular moments, she's acknowledging the warmth that shaped the beginning of her dream, even though she'd been afraid to reach deeper and accept/push past the pain, and Tsukasa is caught up in the hypothetical prospect of losing his dream that he's dissociating onstage and the duality of sinking deeper and floating to the surface--

interesting thing to me that i don't see mentioned very much (although it's ENTIRELY possible i'm just not in the right circles/algorithm to see it) is how daiwa scarlet's career and routes are kind of haunted by a through-line of her mother neglecting her. it's interesting, mostly because scarlet herself treats it so nonchalantly, like it was simply a necessary evil that came along with her mother being such a respected racer with so many responsibilities that required her traveling the world. she was always *kind of* there, never fully there, always "doing her best".

take this clipping from episode 6 of her umamusume story. her mother congratulated her! that's so sweet! scarlet says herself that she was elated to receive the message! her mother supports her dreams, her little girl is growing up to be just like her, and yet she was absent from the race. she still sent that voicemail, so it's clear scarlet's mother is *trying*, but it's hard to say whether that really is enough. scarlet is always describing her mother reaching out in indirect, immaterial ways - sending a message rather than watching the race in person, sending her a tiara in the mail to celebrate being accepted into tracen academy (that, remember, scarlet would sooner be caught dead than caught not wearing). it's all too little, too late, from a mother figure who can't give anything more due to a career that's, no doubt, swamping her completely. in response, scarlet is constantly covering herself in these keepsakes and memories of her mother, but it's all... superficial, to be blunt. compare this to vodka's love of motorcycles, and her dream to win the japanese derby. what's stark about this is the *specificity* of it - vodka likes motorcycles because her dad took her to see motorbike shows at an impressionable age, she wants to win the japanese derby because her dad took her to watch it when she was at an impressionable age. scarlet's goal, likely influenced by her mama is laughably vague in comparison, so much so that the fact she struggles to define what "being number one" even means for her is a source of conflict between her and vodka. it's clear this lack of interaction from her mother is where scarlet gets her model student schtick, and by extension her *crippling* self esteem issues. her mother is such an incredible role model umamusume, and number one umamusume are busy, so if scarlet gets busy and is number one in everything she does, maybe mama will prioritise her for once. if her career and her work is what's captured mama so much that she can't find the time to go out of her way for her own daughter, then maybe scarlet just needs to become as big as that work so she can't be ignored anymore. she just has to be the perfect daughter

she was faster than anyone else in her home town and this gave her hope, because it was the one thing she saw her mama truly dedicated to, so it had to become her goal. her story is actually so compelling to me because of how pernicious the force of her mama is. oftentimes neglect isn't even *considered* abuse, why are you complaining? at least they're not beating you, right? they're trying their best, they just don't always have the time or resources! but it can be just as damaging, even IF the parent is still *trying their best* anyway. unfortunately people's psyches are simply extremely malleable a lot of the time and good intentions can't take trauma away. i don't think daiwa scarlet's mother is like this evil horrible influence in her life. she's just cold and busy, and that can sometimes be all that's necessary to mess a kid up.

furthermore this is why I think vodka "i'm so close with my freaking awesome delinquent father he'll just drive me to summer camp on a whim so my classmates think i have a motorcycle and think im cool" is the perfect foil to scarlet and why their relationship is so engaging to me but that'd be another post i think. i love you daiwa scarlet youre so important to me

I want to share some wisdom from my high school art teacher.

In my AP Art class, there was a girl who was just starting to experiment with mixed media. At this point she was still playing around, trying to decide what direction she wanted to go with her portfolio. So one critique day, she brought in an abstract canvas with some rhinestone highlights and painted and real peacock feathers. She loved sparkles and peacock feathers so she thought she’d try introducing them a *little*. And after everyone had given some input, the teacher gave her his advice, VERY roughly paraphrased here:

“So here’s the thing… I do not like this style. These are just elements that do not speak to me personally, but I see that you like them, and you’re doing interesting things with them.