dykes to watch out for

this lettuce smells like dog

you bought dog lettuce

one day they are gonna make offical uma porn and everyone is gonna be so excited and its gonna drop and the girls are making out and one of them pulls the other's skirt off and she's just gonna have a normal human cock and everyone is gonna lose their minds and uma musume is gonna go bankrupt.

also i got a tiny rubber baby for 95¢

Goodnight people who get mean when they're nervous like a bad dog

rb to tell prev they're being so brave right now and pat their head a little please

just ask her. what's the worst she could do? say no? bite you? start eating little chunks out of you? cast a spell so that you never die and can feel it longer? tear into you with her reaving claws? laugh? start eating bigger chunks out of you?

I think all computers should have cd slots and all phones should have headphone ports send tumble

trans guy who doesn’t realize he’s turning into a werewolf because he assumes it’s all just normal side effects of starting testosterone

trans girl who doesn’t realize she’s turning into a vampire because she assumes it’s all just normal side effects of starting estrogen

I think when you correctly identify a trauma that is the base of a woe of yours it should just disappear. It should be like "aaahh. you got me" and vanish and leave 100 dollars behind

#if you line up several neuroses and identify the interlocking connections between them they should all vanish like clearing a line in tetris (via @karliahs)

anyway just a reminder to never ever start gambling. just don't do it. it is mathematically never worth it. don't do sports betting don't play slots don't pay for gacha pulls or lootboxes just don't. the more you do it the easier it becomes to keep doing it. they count on small buy ins making increasingly large amounts of money put into their ecosystems seem reasonable, frog boiling in a pot style. if you would like to spend money for short term pleasure at the risk of extremely severe longterm consequences, consider drugs and alcohol which on top of being cheaper actually let you receive something in exchange for parting with your money.