Accidental Gains

“Ah… Uh… Well, I think I’m gonna look for another model than, Lio. No offence, but I think you should look for a new nickname, maybe ‘Lardy Lio’ or something like that would fit you beter now. We’re not looking for a guy to show off our new bra’s. With a paunch like yours our brand’s name on the waistband of our underwear wouldn’t even be visible, I guess. Good luck trying to lose the pounds you gained, fatty!”

Maybe you should try to give him belly pats instead of slapping him on the back, ‘cause I think that will be much softer and less painful for this fatty.

This is an ode to fatties with very big squishy love handles, drooping over the snug waistband of their skintight swimming trunks they squeezed their chubby bodies in. You don’t have love handles, you have ‘love luggage’. You’re carrying enough spare tire around your waist to outfit a fleet of monster trucks. Watching you try to button those pants is like watching a sausage fight for its life in a casing three sizes too small, it’s not a ‘fit’, it’s a containment breach. That waistband isn’t holding your pants up, it’s acting as a tourniquet for your dignity. Those rolls aren't just ‘bulging’, they're staging an uprising. You look like a stack of glazed donuts that someone tried to wrap in a rubber band, and now the rubber band is just praying for a quick snap so it can be free from the burden of supporting that seismic amount of squish. When you put on those swimming trunks, you don’t look like you’re heading to the beach, you look like a whale breaching for air, except the ‘beach’ is just your waistband gasping for oxygen under the sheer pressure of your midsection. You aren't wearing clothes anymore, you're just wearing fabric bridges that are struggling to span the gap between your hips and your delusions, fatso’s.

Never knew back then I’d get so into this haha. Gotta get so much fatter too

we should be talking about the underboob roll

The boy is a bit insecure about his hair, which isn’t looking perfect like usually. However, I guess you should be a bit more worried about that gut you’re packing on lately, if you’re really such a vain person. I guess you’re tranforming to a gain person instead now, chubbs. It looks like you picked up some bad habits from your fatter chunky friend.

What the hell? I almost choked on my drink from laughing. How the fuck can you be so confident and delusional that you think flexing your flabby bicep will make you look strong, while your double chin and soft gut are there taking up attention and a lot of room too? Those biceps didn’t get so big from working out, fatty. It’s just because you’re fat! Your workouts take place at the all-you-can-eat buffet instead of in the gym, chubbs.

You look so relaxed, chubbs. A little too relaxed if you ask me. Even your pudgy body is so relaxed it’s sagging and drooping over your tight swimming trunks. Don’t you think it’s time to get off your fat ass and actually try to do something about your relaxed chubby body before you’re obese, fatty?

I guess the fit guy is giving some advice to his chubby friend about how he can lose some weight, ‘cause his love handles are getting massive and the only thing he loves at the moment is his food obviously.

Mister ‘fast metabolism’ here is not only having a midlife crisis at the moment, but also a midsection crisis, because it keeps growing like crazy recently. I guess you should slow down on the beers, fatty, ‘cause you’re not burning those extra calories off as easy as before.

Some friends discussing at the side of the pool why the one in the middle can’t get the attention of any girl lately. Sure, he’s grown a bit, but a man’s gotta eat, right? It’s not like he’s getting fat, right? Then he would have a flabby overhang… Oh, nevermind… He is getting fat.

I spot some very chubby guys here at the festival. The one on the left can still hide it a bit, despite his double chin, but the fatty on the right’s tight shirt can hardly keep in his bulbous paunch. There must be something in the water where these two fatties live, or maybe there’s just beer flowing from the tap in their houses.

Yo, fatso, I can’t see the waistband of your tight swimming trunks anymore. It looks like it got swallowed by all your excess fat, just like it also swallowed all the bones and muscles on your fat body. I’d act a bit less confident if I were you, chubbs, ‘cause that massive pudgy body is not something to be proud of at all.

This guy is really gaining quite the fat tummy during his all-inclusive holiday. I guess the enormous amounts he eats and drinks have something to do with that. It's that typical kind of guy that plays soccer at the local team no one ever heard about that likes discussing the game in the pub with some beers afterwards more than the actual game itself. He'll be benched for sure the following games when he comes back with all that added all-inclusive lard.