Accidental Gains

Oops, someone is not at the perfect lean fighting weight and the guy carrying him on his shoulders is certainly feeling it. You’re spilling out of your tight swimming trunks, tubbs. That’s not a fair fight, and then I’m not even talking about your own fight against the pounds yet.

This chunky boy keeps partying like there’s no tomorrow. Well, tubbs, it may be your last time here at the festival indeed, ‘cause I don’t think they’re gonna give free tickets again next year to a fat influencer who’s more busy eating all the time than actually making content for them and who’s spilling out of his too tight shorts.

What is that posture supposed to mean, chubbs? Probably that all the food can come to you, judging by your growing waist. Your own posture really changed from lean hunk to fat chunk, fatty. I guess someone’s having more physical contact with his own fat rolls than with girls these days.

Another fatty who thinks bulking exists of just shoveling as much protein bars and greasy food into your mouth as possible, while those protein bars are also the only bars he’s lifting. From that kind of ‘bulking’ you don’t acquire a body to show of shirtless at the festivals, tubbs. You’re only making a fat fool of yourself.

’Cute Timmy’ here looks even more cute with all that baby pudge added into his former skinny frame. Pink is the colour of the pig you’re turning into, fatty. It’s time to skip the ‘cute’ and start the cut, I guess.

Two hippo’s cheering in the lake, because they just heard the buffet’s opened. I think you’d better skip the buffet today, fatties.

It seems like that stretch in your ear is not the only thing stretching these days, chubbs. Your growing waist is also stretching the fabric of those tight swimming trunks to the maximum. Looking as soft as dough, fatty.

Ooh, you’re putting a lot of fat(e) in that camping chair, chubbs. Watch out or you will bounce with your wobbly ass on the ground soon. Luckily you have a lot of fat to protect you when you fall, fatso. Time to lift your fat ass up and actually do something about your obesity.

Remember when everyone was jealous of your 'insanely fast metabolism'? Turns out it wasn't fast, it was just on a lunch break. Now it's clocked out completely. The guy who used to complain about not being able to gain a pound somehow skipped straight to collecting love handles, soft moobs, and a comfy little spare tire. Guess your metabolism finally caught up with all those 'I can eat whatever I want' victory laps, chubbs.

Weren’t you the one who was always bragging about never gaining a pound because of your ‘fast metabolism’, chubbs? The fastest thing about your metabolism now is how quickly it stores dessert.

Every friend group has the same duo. One guy looks like he accidentally wandered out of a fitness ad. The other looks like he wandered out of the food court, and somehow has exactly the same level of confidence. One spent the month counting reps, while the other counted happy-hour specials. Different training plans, same commitment to having a good time. The fatso accepted a dare from the group chat after he was not able to acquire the exact same body as his fit friend.

Oh, which bastard drew that on your back, tubbs? There’s a lot of place on your big flabby back to make such drawings on now though.

'I can eat anything and never gain weight' aged like milk, ‘cause your metabolism retired before you did, chubbs. You’re getting quite squishy lately!

You used to be as thin as a rail, but now you’re just a glitch in the simulation. It’s honestly impressive how you managed to keep your arms like pipe cleaners while your midsection decided to surrender to gravity. That isn't a dad bod, you aren't a father. It’s just a soft, doughy tragedy spilling over your waistband like a slow-motion landslide of bad decisions. You’ve reached that special level of pathetic where you’re too thin to be imposing, but too soft to be athletic. You look like a skeleton that gave up halfway through. Seeing that flabby little edge hanging over those board shorts is like watching a tiny, pale glacier of disappointment slowly reclaim the beach. You didn't get a gut, you grew a biological shelf for your lack of discipline to sit on.

This chubster needs to wear underwear under his tight swimming trunks to prevent his massive wobbly as from spilling out of them. What a pity you can’t hide your big squishy love handles with them, fatty.

This freshly graduated skinny guy is getting skinnyfat real quick. No wonder when you’re eating like you’re a greasy child with a sugar addiction. Someone commented on the video: “How is he not 50 stone (700 lbs // 318 kg) lmao?” Come on now, don’t act like he’s still that skinny beanpole he always was. Look at that pudgy paunch he’s putting on lately.