Pearlâs anger stood in sharp contrast to the childish needling. âI know that you killed her. Everyone knows that it was your fault.â
Cinder stared at her, the sudden change to the serious tone shook her. âThatâs not true. I was never sick.â
- Cinder, book 1 of the Lunar Chronicles
I donât think Cinder ever really internalizes that⌠yeah, she probably killed Peony.
Like, she was right on top of the outbreak in the market. And for some reason she hides from and avoids the medical drones that show up (Scarlet does the same thing; do people not KNOW that testing for the plague takes thirty seconds and then youâre free to go??), and doesnât get tested for the plague, and then GOES STRAIGHT HOME. Shortly thereafter, Peonyâs got the plague.
At the time, she comes to the reasonable conclusion that since she doesnât have the plague, she canât be the one who infected Peony. There are not symptomless carriers among Earthens. But later she learns that sheâs Lunar, and absolutely can be a carrier. For a moment, during the conversation about being a carrier, she even seems to accept that she probably infected Peony.
Despite this, she visits Peony in quarantine and then immediately runs her germ-carrying ass out into the public. The fact that sheâs carrying the plague for a short period (hours!) doesnât seem to even CROSS HER MIND. I mean, fuck, no wonder this world canât get the plague under control, no one seems to have internalized germ theory in the slightest, or care if they unknowingly infect strangers.
I wish Iâd taken screenshots of all these bits as I found them, but too late now, weâre relying on my memory. IIRC, thereâs another scene where she doesnât so much have personal guilt but a general Lunar guilt - âI didnât cause the plague! Uh, well, Lunars coming to Earth did actually cause the plague, so⌠kinda?â sorta thing.
And then thereâs this scene, above, where she denies that she infected Peony - even though at this point she knows itâs a serious possibility. Of course, she canât say âYouâre right, Iâm secretly a Lunar, and can carry the plague.â But thereâs no indication that she knows what sheâs saying isnât true. Sheâs not denying it to keep her secret. She just seems to have let herself forget that⌠yeah, she probably infected Peony.
Itâs reasonable and realistic that she would have this little mental break - sheâs got a lot going on being a protagonist, and canât get bogged down in guilt! But it is interesting that it never really gets confronted or resolved, all through the series. This mental break just lives in Cinderâs head.
She probably killed her sister. She canât have killed her sister because she wasnât sick. She can be a symptomless carrier. She canât have killed her sister, she wasnât sick.
She canât have killed her sister, she wasnât sick.
She canât have killed her sister, she wasnât sick!
She canât have killed her sister.