knight young and noble

She huffed, pulling out her portscreen as she leaned against the kitchen counter. Four new messages. 

I hope you’re having a good time. 

I miss you. 

Tressa does too. 

I didn’t mean what I said, Iko. 

He never did. That’s what he always said, anyway. Kinney and his goddamn mouth. Always talking, but never saying what he means. According to him. 

Iko didn’t know what to do anymore, honestly. She told herself it’s just new relationship nerves, that every couple fights. It’s just a phase. 

Looking at the happy couples in the living room, arms draped over shoulders, eyes never leaving each other’s gaze, smiles all around... well, it was definitely harder to convince herself that her relationship wasn’t a total and utter shit fire. 

Iko sighed, twirling one blue braid around her finger as she considered Kinney’s messages again. To answer or not to answer? He’d probably want to call. It was easier to convince her of things when she could hear his voice. 

God, she was pathetic. 

She groaned and dropped her head in her hands. What she wouldn’t give to be Scarlet, or Winter—their love for Wolf and Jacin seemed to come so easy. They knew, with so much conviction, that this was their person. Forever. 

“You can’t be sad. It’s a wedding.”

Iko lifted her head, surprised. A blonde girl stood at the entrance to the kitchen, her pink dress highlighting her cheeks and lips. Her green eyes sparkled as she looked to Iko for some sort of acknowledgment. In one of her hands was a wine glass, trace amounts of red wine still at the bottom. 

“Uh,” Iko said. “I wouldn’t say I’m sad, exactly. Just, like….not happy.”

The girl took a few more steps into the kitchen, stopping by one of the cabinets. “Yeah, okay. That’s slightly better.”

Iko tilted her head at the girl. “…Émilie, right? Scarlet’s friend?”

Émilie grinned. “Guilty as charged.” She pulled out a full bottle of red wine from the depths of the cabinet and uncorked it. “And you are….”

“Of course,” Iko said. “They never mention me in the news articles. Even though I saved the world just as much as those other guys.” 

Émilie laughed. “You were really there? Like really?” 

She smiled. “Yeah. And everyone seems to forget that.” 

“Well, don’t worry, gorgeous. I’ll remember.”

Iko’s fan sputtered in an unrecognizable way.

“Thank you,” Iko said, instead of acknowledging it. “I’m Iko. Cinder’s friend.” 

Émilie’s eyes widened a bit before shaking her head. “Okay, I should be used to everyone around me being friends with huge political figures at this point.” 

Iko laughed and put her port away. Kinney could wait for tomorrow. 

“They’re not scary, I promise,” she said. “Well, Jacin is. But who cares what he thinks?”

Émilie smiled, taking a sip from the wine bottle. “Okay, I‘ll admit I don’t remember which one that is.”

Iko slapped a hand over her mouth to stop herself from snorting. Émilie grinned as Iko laughed. “Sorry, I- he’s the guy Winter is hanging off of!” 

Émilie’s mouth dropped open. “Him? The most beautiful woman in the world is with him??”

Iko would’ve felt jealous of that but, hey, it’s Winter. She was the most beautiful woman in the world. “He is really nice,” Iko giggled. “Deep, deep, deep down.”

“Super far down there. Somewhere.” 

“Maybe.” 

Iko’s fan sputtered again as Émilie laughed a big, real laugh. She felt, like... uncomfortably warm, too. She hadn’t felt like this since she was a service android and met Kai for the first time. 

She pressed a hand to her cheek. She was fine. Nothing was wrong with her. She’d do a diagnostic run in the morning, or get Cress to do one. It was nothing. 

“Do you wanna, like…” Émilie tilted her head towards the door, her wine bottle tipping dangerously. “Get away from the lovebugs?” 

Iko laughed. “Would I ever.”

Émilie grinned and reached out, grabbing Iko’s hand and pulling her towards the door. Iko couldn’t help but giggle again. She felt mischievous, like a school kid sneaking out to a party. Except, they were sneaking out of a party. Could you call it sneaking if no one noticed? 

Émilie and Iko stopped on the front porch. The blonde took another sip of wine, offered some to Iko (she declined), and looked up to the sky. 

“So you were on the moon?” She asked. 

Iko folded her arms across her chest. “Yep.”

Émilie turned to her. “What’s it like?” 

“Cold. Lonely. Kind of horrible, actually.” The truth spilled out of Iko before she could stop it. She would have never told Cinder any of this. If she did, Cinder would insist on Iko going back to Earth, to stay with Kai, or Scarlet. Cinder needed someone. And they hadn’t been separated in so long. Iko didn’t know who she was without Cinder. She owed everything to her and loved her with every wire, every spark. 

But even with Cinder, her bright spot in the dark, living on the moon sucked. 

“Mm,” Émilie hummed. “Scar didn’t like it much either, I think. She doesn’t… like talking about it, though.” 

Iko shuddered. “If I was her, neither would I.”

“Ugh! This is such sad talk. Why’d you make it sad??” Émilie huffed dramatically. “Let’s talk about… about… supernovas.”

Okay. Iko might’ve underestimated how drunk this girl was. 

“Cause like…these huge, giant scientific marvels,” Emile continued, “just give up and collapse and it’s the biggest thing that happens to the universe. Isn’t that insane??”

Iko raised her eyebrows and nodded. She didn’t know shit about supernovas. She could look it up right now, and spew off a bunch of scientific terms to impress her, but she didn’t really feel like it. She would’ve done it if it was Kinney, just to one-up him. He could get so pretentious about stuff she didn’t know off the top of her head. You’re basically a computer, how could you not know?

Sometimes she wanted to punch him.

“Do you ever feel like that?” 

Iko snapped out of her thoughts. “Like… what?”

Emile turned her green eyes on her. “Like one day you are going to give too much and just… explode. And never be the same.”

She almost said no on instinct. Of course not. Her life was perfect. 

And then she thought of Kinney, and Luna, and the everyday politics and…and how not human she felt some days…

“Yeah,” she said. “Yeah, I feel exactly like that.”

Émilie cupped her face in her hands, smiling, her eyes never leaving Iko’s face, her cheeks flushed pink.

Iko wondered what it would be like to get drunk. To have the house and sky spin and feel nothing but mirth. To laugh and stare and hold hands with someone with no hesitation. To look at someone the way Émilie was looking at her right now without fear. 

She hated being a stupid fucking android. One day, one day, she wanted to be human and actually feel Émilie’s warm hand in hers.

Iko held out her hand. “Wanna dance?” 

Émilie grinned, stepping towards Iko and throwing her arms around her neck, pulling herself closer. Iko hesitated a moment, then settled her hands on the girl’s hips. They swayed softly to the faint music from the living room. 

Émilie was very close to Iko now. She could count every freckle on her face. Not that she would- that would definitely be categorized under weird things to do as a human being. Iko nervously hoped her breath didn’t smell before realizing she couldn’t breathe. Right. Awesome. 

“Do you have a dream?” Émilie asked. 

“What do you mean?”

“Like… if you do anything… go anywhere… what would you do?”

Be a human. Obviously. But she couldn’t say that. 

“I guess… I don’t know,” Iko said, surprised. “I’ve always just… followed Cinder, wherever she needed me.”

Émilie tilted her head. “That’s… a little sad.” 

Iko didn’t want to agree, really. It would kind of suck if she did. 

“What about you?” She asked. “Small town French girl have any big dreams?”

Émilie lit up. “I want to apply to an arts school in Paris for performance.”

“Wow. Big dreams.”

The blonde leaned back, grinning ear to ear. “Imagine me, on a big stage. Under the lights. Acting my ass off. I get standing ovations every night.”

And Iko could imagine it. This beautiful girl, under dazzling, blinding lights, her blonde hair a halo. Green eyes bright and looking right at Iko. Only at Iko. 

Her fan sputtered again.

“I can see it,” Iko told her. “You look incredible up there.” 

Émilie met Iko’s gaze with a smile so big it rivaled the stage lights in Iko’s mind. At that moment, Émilie wasn’t just beautiful, she was radiant. 

“You look incredible now,” Iko said.

Émilie’s eyes darkened, just a bit. She glanced down, then back up again. And then, very suddenly, she leaned in and kissed Iko. 

Woah. Woah. 

Iko did not expect that. Kissing Émilie was nothing like kissing Kinney. Kinney… if she was being honest… kind of sucked. Émilie was soft and her hands brushed Iko’s shoulders and Iko kinda felt like she was on fire.

She realized she still hadn’t moved or reacted as Émilie pulled away quickly. 

“Uh, sorry,” Émilie stammered. “Sorry, sorry, I’m drunk, I thought– I misread everything–“

“Um. What?” Iko said. She couldn’t really form a thought.

Émilie’s pretty face was now bright red. “I, uh. I’m sorry, I should go. Have fun.”

She was gone before Iko could protest.

She didn’t know why… why she would protest. She didn’t like girls. She didn’t ask to be kissed. She didn’t like girls. 

But then again… she’d never really thought about it. 

“Oh, stars,” Iko whispered.