*kazoo noises*

Stop saying triggered to mean bothered or annoyed or pissed off.

Stop casually calling things insane or “nuts”

Stop joking that someone has “multiple personalities” when you don’t find their behavior to be consistent

Stop joking about being addicted to things when you really mean you enjoy them a lot

okay. writers of tumblr. i’ve compiled a list of things i desperately wish someone had sat me down and said before i started writing, not that i would’ve listened, because i was 14 and powered entirely by hubris, iced coffee, and my wattpad era.

anyway. here we go:

1. stop rewriting chapter one. i know you think it’ll fix everything. it won’t. it’s a hydra. you cut one head off, two Google Docs appear.

2. your first draft is not a treaty with god. it can be messy. it can be unhinged. it can have 47 placeholders named “idk something happens.” it’s fine.

3. perfectionism is just fear wearing a blazer. write badly on purpose. humiliate your draft. it builds character (yours).

4. word count culture is a scam. you are allowed to write 200 words and call it a day. you are allowed to write 5k and then disappear into the void for three business weeks.

5. google docs autosave WILL betray you. download backups. then back up your backups. then sacrifice a pen to the writing gods idk.

6. description is not pretty synonyms. it’s specificity. the torn movie ticket in their pocket. the buzzing light in the hallway. the chipped nail polish on their thumb. write the thing not the aesthetics around the thing.

7. dialogue isn’t two Shakespeare ghosts monologuing at each other. interruptions. trailing off. people lying. people avoiding the truth. people saying “whatever man.” let it get messy.

8. you don’t need a whole map before you start. sometimes you just need one character with one problem and the stupidest idea imaginable.

9. reading your old writing will make you cringe but also cry a little because wow you cared so much. keep that version of you alive.

10. don’t wait to ‘be good.’ you get good by writing the stuff you think is embarrassing.

11. also: nine out of ten times, your “bad” idea is actually the one that goes feral and grows teeth and becomes your WIP.

12. hydrate. no further explanation.

ok that’s it because if i keep going i’ll start confessing things about the time i wrote a whole novel in 2017 that will never see daylight again.

And what do you want?

I’ve seen a lot of people complain that Pink’s placement as a secret boss in chapter 5 is disconnected or unfitting. but i think she's actually perfect for the last secret boss, especially if secret bosses are meant to symbolize a desire for freedom. Now i will yap about it for several paragraphs

several parallels are built between Spamton and Pink during her fight, which make it clear they’re meant to be compared. their designs both feature pink and gold, they both steal a body that isn’t theirs, they’re both involved with green strings, they both feature Mad Dummy in their boss fight/theme, are both puppets related to cats, and they both have odd connections to the weird route (as evidenced by the translation of Cutie Mew Mew Magic). in almost every other way however, Spamton and Pink are opposites. Spamton’s story is a tragedy; from the start, his rainbow-colored peers don’t accept him as their own and see him as lesser for being different and less capable. he’s a broken and decrepit doll who’s had life screw him over every step of the way, he’s been abandoned by everyone he ever loved and cared about, his body has been marred beyond recognition, he’s treated as a living puppet with no autonomy or freedom, and he doesn’t get to keep his dream body or ‘fuse with his chosen vessel'. Even after being defeated by the fun gang, none of his problems are fixed; he has no choice but to accept his status as a simple puppet. Spamton is Kris’ worst case scenario. they are terrified this is going to be their own future, they’re visibly shaken by Spamton’s fight unlike any other in the entire game.  i think the reason Chapter 2 in particular features a character which symbolizes such a depressing future for Kris is because Chapter 2’s dark fountain is created by the Roaring Knight. a character which Kris is very heavily implied to have some kind of partnership with, one where the Knight holds power and control over Kris (as evidenced by the knighting scene after their fight, and the high probability that the Knight is the person who talks to Kris on the phone and sends them orders). the dynamic Kris has with the Knight can be compared to the relationship Spamton had with his benefactor, where he must follow orders from a mysterious voice on the phone lest he be punished (and punished he was).  by this point in the story, Kris is both being metaphorically puppeted by the Knight, and literally puppeted by the player, leaving them feeling a complete loss of autonomy. this situation is opening way to Kris’ worst future. one where they are abandoned by everyone and thrown aside like an unwanted puppet. like Spamton. in Chapter 5 however, the dark fountain is created by Kris instead. though the creation of the fountain was clearly premeditated (likely to get time for the Knight to kidnap Asgore), i don’t think it’s crazy to say that part of the reason they created it in the moment was to distract Susie from the Rudy situation. to keep Susie happy, because they don’t want her best day ever being ruined by the news. Kris cares about Susie so, so much, and it’s clear she’s a huge part of the reason Kris can now see a future for themself where things aren’t so bad. this hope manifests as Pink.  Pink is present in Kris’ subconscious before Chapter 5 even begins. Kris plays Shop 3 on the piano in Noelle’s house, a song which is later present in the shop owned by Pink. Shop 3 shows a more somber side to Pink’s character, as she simply watches the sunset, captivated by how freeing it feels to be able to do so in her dream body.  Pink herself, of course, is very much a parallel to Kris, being a Darkner and a Lightner both using the same body, who struggle with differing wants and desires and must ultimately learn to cooperate with each other despite that (which may hint towards the idea that Kris' ideal ending would be them and the player learning to understand each other, rather than one or the other being banished for good).

even though Pink isn’t really a flower, when she pretends to be one, HER rainbow-colored peers all see her as one of them and accept her with open arms, uncaring of her strange circumstances. In the end, Pink gets to keep her dream body and watch the sunset with her best friend. All things Spamton desperately wanted and never got to have, and all things Kris hopes to have. Pink is Kris’ best case scenario, their subconscious manifesting a future for them where everything ends up fine, even if just for a little while.

Some previous paintings

look, ships have not and will never be about canonicity. ship wars are extensions of ego, not the work

shipping at its core is about the dynamic and relationship between characters. it is a way to celebrate, dissect, and comprehend the ways in which characters affect each other, reveal things about themselves that wouldn't be possible alone, and ultimately, how that reflects the themes of the story. people ship non-canon ships because the canonicity isn't the point: the dynamic is

what does suselle's happiness mean for both susie and noelle? what does it reveal about kris and noelle? what does it imply about kris and susie?

i understand the desire to not engage in something painful, but the one-sided nature of kris' crush is a beautiful added layer to kris' character because it highlights their otheredness and repressed self so well while also showing how much they also want their friends to be happy. it illustrates their struggles as a character who is their own person with their own needs and wants, yet is so enigmatic to the general player base that nearly none of them clock how kris feels in chapter 5.

kris has spent their entire life being the second choice, the afterthought, the one left out if the azzy dess thing is anything to go by. and now they have to stand silently as their favorite person chooses someone else while contending with the player choosing to thirdwheel them (and also how they want susie to be happy with noelle because they're a backstabbing little enby). this unrequited crush is a reminder of that in the form of a knife that twists in our heart.

meanwhile weird route reveals to us that the 'only kris knows how weird i am' is this unsaid connection between kris and noelle who both desire to 'leave' and find something new and freeing in their constrained, powerless lives. the irony is that they are video game characters who use, well, video games to achieve this feeling through things like evil routes, glitches, and clipping out of bounds (which is then actuated when the veneer of noelle's reality is forcibly shattered by the player). just as kris had always been 'heading nowhere', so too was noelle similarly trapped and 'heading nowhere' until susie came along

the happiness susie brings to noelle is an echo of the happiness we've seen kris experience due to susie. because kris and noelle are similar, we can deduce that the ways in which noelle feels about susie is similar to how kris feels about susie (such as the locker scene in ch5) and vice versa. similarly, the joy that susie feels with noelle is a romantic mirror of the comfort she feels with kris. she doesn't understand love, but she also has so much love in her heart to give. it's implied that noelle is partly why susie is 'still here' and this moment of their two hearts beating as one is why their love is so pure. susie needs a presence like noelle just as noelle needs a presence like susie and suselle advances both their character arc wonderfully

all this to say that shipping is so much more fun once you think of it as character exploration. free yourself from 'my ship has to be canon' and use canon as fuel for you to explore what makes these characters tick and what about their dynamic you find fun

a ship being one-sided (and staying one-sided) is evocative precisely because it is tragic. explore that!! dive into the many layers that I didn't get to describe!