"Alone again in some new wicked little town..."

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Someone makes a movie based off your novel.

Your favorite actor is cast in the movie based on your novel.

You become best friends with said actor.

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When I tell you both the Hawthorn wand and the Elder wand share one common origin and that's death and yet the Hawthorn diverged by being used for healing.

When I tell you the unicorn core is loyal to its first master and the Elder wand is an unloyal one, jumping from powerful master to more.

When I tell you it will always be Draco's wand vs The Elder wand because was always about Love vs Power

Americans:

From Wikipedia: A graham cracker is a sweet flavored cracker made with graham flour.

The next ingredient (which is also extremely traditionally American but slightly more variable) is typically Hershey's chocolate, but you could probably swap this out in the UK with any plain chocolate bar.

Last ingredient is big marshmallows, the kind you do the chubby bunny challenge with, like the size of your thumb and twice as thick.

A proper s'more, the most traditional possible variety, involves to graham cracker squares, two slab segments of Hershey's chocolate, and one to two marshmallows depending on your preference for filling and gooeyness. You put a slab of chocolate on one of the graham cracker squares. Your marshmallows should be toasted, usually over a campfire but if you're doing them at home over a gas stove burner is fine, but the fire part is critical. You can toast them to whatever degree you like, some people like them nice and golden brown but still kind of firm in the middle, me personally? I want that bitch to CATCH ON FIRE, I want it gooey and sticky as hell in the middle, crispy and burnt on the outside. Slap that motherfucker on your graham cracker and chocolate square, top with the other one so your marshmallow and chocolate are sandwiched together by graham cracker on the outside. You do this with your freshly toasted marshmallow because ideally it will be hot enough to start to melt the chocolate so it sticks to the marshmallow and the graham cracker and, combined with the gooey marshmallow, it keeps the whole thing together, and for that reason some people will let them sit for a hot second to let the melting process happen (especially if like me you have chocolate on BOTH graham cracker squares, not just one, because you're a sugar fiend), but if you are a young child you do not have that degree of patience and you eat that shit immediately, unmelted chocolate and all. Consume your summer camp delight like a tiny club sandwich, get gooey sticky marshmallow and chocolate all over your hands, and enjoy.

Graham crackers are a distinctly American thing. They were created by a minister during the temperance movement who believed that the way to get people to stop masturbating was to feed them a diet of only dry, sugarless crackers made from a coarsely ground wheat.

Also I’m pretty sure graham crackers aren’t plain - aren’t they flavored with cinnamon? Or honey? Something besides just sugar.

Finally, if you really want to get offended about what Paul and Holly thinks of American food, you should watch the bake off episode where they’re challenged to make American pies and only like one person produces anything that vaguely resembles a pie you would actually find in America. (The key lime. It won, as was proper.) Paul Hollywood, native of a country which has something called the treacle tart, dares to bitch about how American pies are too sweet in that episode.

Oh also, they’re not allowed to make apple pie because they’re all like, “uhh, actually that’s from Britain…” fuck you, Mr. Hollywood! Firstly, apple pies were invented on the Continent. IIIRC, the Dutch have the best claim? But like generally, the idea of apples inside pie shell is one of those food things that simultaneously invented multiple places. Secondly, and much more importantly, all American foods are fusions of foods from other places because we were a fucking colony, and after we got our independence for large chunks of our history, we continued to welcome people from other places. That doesn’t mean those foods aren’t American!

I’m actually going to die on this hill.

Pizza is American. Hamburgers and hotdogs are American. Every other food that you wanna tell me “well actually that’s…” and then name a European country whose immigrants created the version of it that became famous in America is an American food. These food foods would not have their current form without the cultural milieu and resources available to those immigrants in the United States. They are fusion cuisine. 

If you don’t accept that, you’re saying that the only foods that are truly American are the ones that indigenous people created before any European immigrants showed up. That’s a way of looking at things that ignores 500 years of history. Literally saying, half a millennium of food history doesn’t matter. And that is fucking rich coming from a continent where people are running around creating regional copyrights for foods saying that the only proper version is the one made in this specific part of Italy or France when many of those foods cannot trace their origins back before 1800!

Tiramisu was invented in the 20th century.

Hell, you wanna argue about foods being brought from one place to another and who’s food they really are?

Spain, Southern France, Italy all of these areas would not have their current food culture without the Muslim conquest around 900. Literally most of what people ate in those regions before that was various forms of cabbage soup and porridge. What we think of as a Mediterranean diet does not exist without Muslim scholars and agricultural techniques being imported into the south of Europe.

Of course, now we’re talking about something that happened a whole millennium ago… when saying that the food truly isn’t from a place you have to decide how far back you’re willing to go! Because the thing is, if you wanna keep going back most key domesticated animals used in European food were domesticated in the fertile crescent. And most domesticated plants also don’t come from Europe. They come from somewhere in Asia. (This is not getting into the potato problem and generally the whole question of the Columbian exchange, because I’m talking about exchanges that took place centuries before that. Like I said, you have to decide how far back you’re willing to go.)

Even in the house it was LOUD.  Probably the loudest thing I have ever experienced but at a normal, predictable interval.  You would begin to time your sentences with little pauses with the rest of the lighthouse crew so you would talk like this while making your………..HORN…………. tea and then carry on talking because you knew when it would go off.  It rattled the walls and the dishes in our cabinet.

At least one girl had died there. They kept photos of her everywhere “in honor of her sacrifice” because she had decided to take the winter watch alone and died in a storm where bounders the size of mini vans had been lifted out of the ocean and left scattered across the island, to say nothing of the ice chunks.  People weren’t allowed to be alone on the watch after that.

One day a dead moose washed up on shore and it took my entire crew all day but we managed to rig up a line to hang it up to dry because we thought having a moose skeleton in the house would really spice the living room up a bit.  It did.  Weird shit happens when six of you are left alone, like ALONE ALONE, no cell reception, no wifi, just a radio to contact the real world and not a lot of reason to do that.  People don’t go on lighthouse jobs if they want to stay connected, I’ve found.