Bigfoot is real and he sucked my dick behind Tesco

wanna hang out [remembers it's rude to put expectations on people] it's cool if not [remembers people like to know they're wanted] but I'd really like it if you did [remembers selfishness is bad] we can do whatever you want though [remembers that handing someone a blank canvas isn't as effective as providing a suggestion to bounce ideas off of] like sucking each others fingers for example

can i come over and touch your things and belongings

i'd rip up grass and put it on your knee btw. for no reason other than i was thinking of you so much that i needed to bother you a little about it

im so sorry that you're doomed by the narrative but i really need you to answer my message on Microsoft Teams

hmmmmm.... this shitpost from a user i dont know seems like a warm, safe place to lay an overshare egg 🥚

you'd think I'd be excited about a new Robin Hood movie but it's fallen at the twin hurdles of marketing itself as 'The True Story Behind The Myth' (horseshit, stupid) and starring Hugh Jackman (piece of shit, in a cult).

i’m not even that much of a pervert i can just find the eroticism in anything. doesn’t get me bricked up necessarily i just like to appreciate it.

Sometimes pervert shit is all we got in this dark world