KittyXIII

Yes. Fucking is great. I enjoy it myself on occasion. But condoms are not free just because people enjoy fucking. Condoms used to be much, much, much harder to come by, and they were significantly more expensive. Many humans have always enjoyed fucking, but condoms have not always been available, much less for free.

This post was originally made in September of 2020. It was made after I got into a pitched argument with a straight cisgender woman, who argued that free condoms are actually oppressive in a society where free menstrual products are hard to come by. Her argument was that it is an act of violent misogyny for free condoms to be available anywhere when menstrual products are not, and that the prevalence of free condoms is clearly due to male privilege.

That is not why condoms are free, and if you think free condoms are in any way oppressive, you need to get your head out of your ass. You cannot drag free condoms into the conversation about free menstrual products without acknowledging the massive, grueling efforts of queer activists and allies–including WOMEN–that brought condoms into wider use.

Condoms are often free because AIDS activists put endless amounts of effort into education and distribution of resources for safe sex. Condoms are free because they keep everyone safer, not just the people (NOT JUST MEN!) who use them.

Free condoms are not patriarchal, and they benefit everyone. Please read up on the history of AIDS activists. There’s even a convenient Wikipedia page all about HIV/AIDS activism.

And since I didn’t include a source link in my original post (nor do I remember where I got that number by this point), here is some updated, properly sourced data on global HIV/AIDS infection rates, courtesy of unaids.org:

39.9 million [36.1 million–44.6 million] people globally were living with HIV in 2023. 

1.3 million [1 million–1.7 million] people became newly infected with HIV in 2023. 

630 000 [500 000–820 000] people died from AIDS-related illnesses in 2023. 

30.7 million people [27–31.9 million] were accessing antiretroviral therapy in 2023. 

88.4 million [71.3 million–112.8 million] people have become infected with HIV since the start of the epidemic. 

That’s only 60 years of “condoms are legal FOR MARRIED PEOPLE, WITH ADVICE FROM A DOCTOR.”

…Several people on the current SCOTUS are trying to figure out how to overturn Griswold.

That right got extended to unmarried people in 1972, with Eisenstadt v Baird.

Condoms used to be a felony. And then they were a felony for unmarried people. And even after that, they carried a lot of stigma - why would you need a condom, unless you were being promiscuous?

So you know how the South is like "wah wah War of Northern Aggression states rights waaaaah"?

Apparently once upon a time it was perfectly acceptable to them to have the federal government supersede the states in the matter of slavery.

As long as it was Southern states getting to tell California it couldn't ban slavery in its state constitution, that is.

That's how the Compromise of 1850 got started.

Huh.

Weird.

State's rights to do what?

Say that they could own men.

You know. The law that said that state and local law enforcement had to comply with southern slave catchers and had to allow the kidnapping of formerly enslaved people back into slavery regardless of what the state or local laws said.

You see, up to that point, in many states where slavery was illegal they did not give a flying fuck about what the South wanted them to do with any Black people who escaped enslavement and made it into a free state. They wouldn't necessarily intervene to protect those Black people (or any other Black people who had never been enslaved, or who had been legally freed) from getting kidnapped by slave-catchers and taken back to be enslaved. But they also wouldn't help the slave-catchers. (By this point tensions between North and South over the issue of slavery were rising, and there were a lot of white people who thought that slavery was a threat to their own economic opportunity (which it was). They might still be virulently racist, but they hated slavery and slaveowners. So they certainly weren't going to help them.

And the Fugitive Slave Act said no, it doesn't matter what your local laws are regarding slavery. It doesn't matter if your laws say that any Black person on the soil of your state is automatically free regardless of their legal status in other states. Your laws don't matter; the Federal Government says that you must cooperate with any slave catchers who ask you for help.

And the South loved it. The South had a million reasons why the Federal Government should have the right to override state and local laws.

The problem (for the South) was that the act was deeply unpopular up North, and slavery was getting more and more despised, because poor and middle class white people in the North were realizing that if things were allowed to continue, the slave states would keep running things for the sole benefit of the Southern elite, and that would fuck things up for them. And that's how the Republican party was born, and that's how Lincoln got elected.

I don't think I have words strong enough to say how fucking disgusted I am. Like yes, I knew it was bad, but the more I listen the worse it gets.

Do not use the website called Sci-Hub!

It lets people access scientific articles for free. This is dangerous. It helps the free flow of knowledge and reduces the competitive edge of all the people who worked really hard to have been born into a wealth.

Like, it’s literally a website where you can type in the DOI of an article and read it, without ever having to pay the publisher who exploited the author.

Like if you want to read basically any physics, math, or CS paper, arXiv.org will have you covered, because everyone uploads their papers there before submitting to a journal (and generally updates it after peer review). I know all of my papers are on there. This is such common practice that journals have it baked into their licensing agreements that authors retain the right to upload their work to these places.

Let’s play the biggest game of kick the can on the internet.

Tiger found caged in abandoned home gets second chance at wildlife sanctuary: ‘He seems to be so happy’

The estimated 350-pound tiger was transported to the facility, an affiliate of the Humane Society of the United States, on Wednesday afternoon, and is settling in well, Almrud said. There, he will have the chance to roam in enclosures of up to three acres.

Almrud, who estimates him to be about 2 years old, described the moment he first walked onto the grass at the sanctuary as remarkable.

“It was just amazing to see him walk out on grass and to see him explore and have that freedom of movement,” she said. “It was just such a reward and fulfilling to us.”

Now, he spends his days rolling around the grass in glee, Almrud said.

“He comes right up to the fence every time a staff member is present,” she said. “He seems very amenable to our presence.”

The tiger is eating well – a combination of chicken, humanely raised non-processed beef and whole prey complete with organs and bones. It appears that he was being fed chicken, which is what owners of exotic cats often feed them, but chicken alone does not provide the complete nutrition they need to thrive, Almrud said.

In addition, caregivers are tasked with keeping the tiger mentally stimulated by creating “pretend hunting” games and rotating him through different areas so he has access to new smells and environments to explore.

“He seems to happy and content,” Almrud said. “Our staff is just falling in love with him.”

His name is Loki now! In June he celebrated his 7th birthday at the sanctuary where he lives and thrives. Here’s a few pics of the boy:

He escaped his cage

Yes

YES

The tiger is out

So, your landlord/parents/home inspector/favorite movie star is dropping by, and your place is a disaster. You don’t have much time to clean it up. You’re in emergency mode. Let’s get started.

Don’t panic. Panic leads to fear, fear leads to procrastination, procrastination leads to the dark side. You can do this, but you have to stay calm.

Unlike maintenance cleaning, we’re not looking to completely unfuck one space at a time. Instead, we want to decrease the overall mess in stages, spread evenly across the whole area that we’re concerned about. If you think your home is at Level 10 filth, we want to bring the whole thing down to a Level 9, and then down from there. One really clean spot in an otherwise messy home is not going to be helpful here.

Get prepared. You’ll want to shut the computer down (or turn the modem off if you need your computer to play music). Trust me. Get your music going. Gather up trash bags, your vacuum and mop, some rags or paper towel, sponges, and other cleaning supplies. Use what you have on hand. Don’t get distracted running to the store and spending an hour browsing cleaning supplies. A multi-purpose cleaning concentrate or a jug of vinegar will be just fine.

Breaks are very important. Depending on your time constraints, work in 20/10s (20 minutes working, 10-minute break) or 45/15s. But take breaks because otherwise you’re marathoning, and marathon cleaning is no one’s friend. Keep hydrated, don’t forget to eat, and check in with yourself frequently to make sure you’re physically doing OK.

Make your bed. This will be your home base if you get overwhelmed or need somewhere clear to take a break.

Start with the garbage. Going from room to room, throw out anything that is obvious trash. Once you fill a bag, take it out. Repeat as many times as necessary.

Move on to dishes. Gather the dishes from all over your house and bring them to the kitchen. If you can, start them soaking in a sink of hot, soapy water or start loading the dishwasher. After the dishes are all in one place, spend one 20/10 getting started getting them under control.

Now it’s time for your flat surfaces. Countertops, tables, dresser tops, etc. Clear them off and wipe them down. Don’t get distracted in too much sorting and organizing. We’re in crisis mode here. There will be time to get in-depth once this is all done. The same applies to cabinets and closets. Unless you have reason to believe people will be opening closed doors, leave these alone for now.

Attack the floordrobe and shoe pile. Get your clothes either put away or in the hamper. Start a load of laundry if you need to, but keep in mind that laundry and dishes have three steps: wash, dry, and put it away, goddammit!

Get random stuff up off the floors. If something is trash-worthy, throw it away now rather than just move it around a bunch of times. Otherwise, put stuff where it belongs.

Take another 20/10 or 45/15 to catch up on more dishes, if needed.

Head into the bathroom. Pour some cleaner in the toilet bowl, fill the sink with hot water and cleaner, and either spray the tub and shower with cleaner, or fill the tub up with some hot water and add cleaner and let it soak. Put everything away that’s out and shouldn’t be, clean the mirror, counters, and toilet seat. Sweep or dry mop the floor. Wipe down the sink and tub/shower, and give the toilet bowl a scrub. Mop the floor.

Sweep and mop the kitchen floor.

Vacuum everything you can, and sweep everything you can’t.

Walk outside of your house (don’t lock yourself out, please). Walk back in and see what catches your eye first. Go and deal with that.

If you’re being inspected or your landlord is coming in for repairs, spend time on whatever area they’ll be focusing on.

Give the whole place one more once-over and pay attention to anything you’ve missed so far.

It’s an old trick, but if your place is a little funky-smelling, put a pan of water on the stove on low heat and add some citrus or cinnamon or vanilla. Don’t leave it unattended or forget about it.

Take a shower, put on something clean, and eat something.

You can do this. It’s overwhelming, yes, but it is not impossible. You just need to do it. You have a list. You have directions. You have a whole bunch of Internet strangers who have been there before and who are cheering you on. You can do this, but you need to get started.

You know, the band who had Pansy Division as openers in 1994?

Who wrote an entire fucking ALBUM, not a song but A WHOLE ALBUM, protesting the Bush administration?

The band where the lead singer stopped the show to jump into the audience and deck a guy who was harassing a girl?

And even though money is pretty tight for her, she told me I could name my price if I would help her, because it was so far away.

I told her she was a dummy for thinking i would take her money but that i would accept the traditional helping-a-friend-move price: a meal (i know she would feel wrong about herself if she didn’t do something for me in return, that’s just how she is) Tradition suggests pizza and beer, we opted for enchiladas and a margarita.

we crashed on the floor of the empty place and left back north in the morning - when we got back to the city three more friends met us at her storage place (the place she was moving into wouldn’t be vacant for a couple months) and we started to move all her stuff up to a storage room on the THIRD FLOOR (because large city storage places be like that)

we had just taken the first box out of the truck when the (only) lady working there walked by and told us they closed in an hour and twenty minutes, and she couldn’t stay even a little late because she had to get to her other job.

One hour twenty minutes. To completely un-jenga a large uhaul and re-tetris it back into a similar sized room on the third floor.

We all just, shared a look, took off hoodies, and got the fuck down to business. 

It was actually.. I still cherish look we passed around. The tiny eyebrow quirks and chin nods. The eye glints. The bigger breath we each took as we prepared to kick it up several gears. That moment of wordless connection, when we all just silently agreed that we were damn well going to do the impossible and didn’t even waste the time it would take to say anything, just got to it.

And we did it too. Finished with exactly two full minutes to spare. And then we all went for dinner and drinks to celebrate. And my friend’s friends that came to help? Two of them were acquaintances/friends of mine already. Like I lived with one for a year a decade ago sort of thing. But this experience? Brought us all closer. Made myself a new friend too.

And the friend i helped move? She and I are closer than ever because of it.

When i left our storage success diner to go home, she asked me again if I was sure i wouldn’t take any money.

I said “I ever tell you when I was 22 I went down to Hollywood to try that scene out? Anyway ten months later, when I just couldn’t do it anymore, and needed to come back, I called one of my best friends and said i can’t do this anymore i need to come back. You know what he said? He said: I’ll be there tomorrow. Not how much will you pay me, not what do i get out of it, not will you be able to cover my gas, just: I’ll be there tomorrow. Okay? You’re my friend. If you need help, I’m going to be there”

2021:

2018:

2016:

2012:

2010:

I haven’t pissed people off lately by reminding them that ALL types of physical punishment of kids has been proven beyond ANY reasonable doubt to have only negative long term outcomes.

So let me scream it from the hilltops:

Stop hitting kids. End of sentence.

2022:

2023:

2024:

2025:

For example, being exposed to corporal punishment as a kid makes it more likely for a person to commit domestic violence against a partner. In places where corporal punishment is normal, people are more likely to think that rape and intimate partner violence are normal. Kids who are spanked are more likely to be violent with and to bully other kids.

Spanking is literally teaching a kid that violence is okay and normal and it affects the whole society.

(For those currently saying "correlation doesn't equal causation," you're correct! The point of this study was to determine if there were higher rates of disordered eating in adults who'd experienced corporal punishment as kids. If the answer was no, then there's probably no statistical relationship. If the answer was yes--as it was--the research would then move on to "so is there causation here, or are there other factors?")

I don't bring this up because of the study itself. It was a small pilot study, I haven't seen any follow-up research, and the original isn't available online.

No, I bring this up because the author cited many other studies on the adverse effects of spanking to demonstrate why she thought the study was necessary in the first place.

THOSE STUDIES WENT BACK TO 1939.

ONE OF THEM WAS AN AGGREGATE METADATA STUDY.

If you're not familiar, that basically means its authors were studying studies. They took every single study on spanking they could find within a 70-year span and studied them all to see what patterns emerged. What they found was horrifying:

Every single study in that period, from the most rigorous right on down to "you can tell the authors wanted a spanking-is-good result," showed negative results from spanking. These were as diverse as increased risk of sexual abuse to depression to increased risk of substance abuse to poorer educational outcomes to greater likelihood of committing violent crimes as adults.

But that's not the horrifying part. If you're wondering how that could possibly not be the horrifying part, well...

NOT ONE STUDY SHOWED A POSITIVE TRADEOFF FOR THESE RISKS. NOT. ONE.

There was no "sports can cause injuries but can also improve self-esteem, personal fitness, and teach important disciplinary skills." There wasn't even a "homework has marginal benefits at most."

THERE WAS NOTHING. Multiple studies noted that while corporal punishment could produce the immediate appearance of improved behavior, what was actually happening is the kids were getting better at lying and hiding their undesirable behavior, and they were actually more likely to enter the juvenile detention system. The results were so overwhelmingly negative that even the biased studies deliberately designed to produce "it's good actually" results could not deliver those results.

I am not uptight about privacy because I'm hiding something. I'm uptight about it because the people who dismiss my right to privacy are dangerous to you and me and our families, personally, all the time.