she is only interested in me because i am interesting

Hi im scared animal and welcome to my corner

going with the flow in a face down in a river kinda way

whenever i look into a historical monarch who doesn’t get talked about much and is just kind of a blank spot in my understanding of the historical narrative, 95% of the time what i find is pure white hot blistering capability. a pencil pusher for the ages. a 39 year reign with no more than three hours of sleep a night. there aren’t any good stories from his reign because he systematically caught and stopped all catastrophic good stories before they could start. you shrimply must respect it

you’re jerking off and suddenly my leitmotif starts playing

Oh to be eleven years old and finding a life-changing obscure paperback in the library

3. you can also pretend you’re a deep sea predator pretending to be aquatic plant life drifting in the currents to attract prey

Kids today need to learn how to pull the evil taffy.

4. Brush away the spiderwebs in the vast and mysterious crypt you're exploring

Surely adding a glass of wine to my already sexed up mood will do nothing of serious consequence

Making my tits a linkedin account

i say yay and yippee a lot but i mean it. i always mean it. *looks into the distance pensively*

There should be more types of ovation. Spinning, prone, supplicating. We have barely scratched the surface of ovation techniques.

wedding dresses are white specifically so that if the bride goes axe-crazy you can rest assured you will see the blood stains all over her and it'll be sick as fuck