teddy

#congratulations mrs and mr kent [tag by @gremlinbehaviour]

Theyre called draculas because they drank u. La

Did anyone else hear just one single angelic note

wheres seasons greasons

its that time of year again

It doesn’t have to be

its not optional

van gogh wasn't appreciated in his time either

Op, I'm sorry, but you sext like a homestuck character

How fucking dare you.

Oh man, you like Hannibal and Interview with the Vampire? You should check out Therapy next.

trips and falls and i just dont get up after

He has noticed the mingo

He called me on the phone to ask if I knew where the beautiful pink swan that was in his yard this morning had gone. I was working in the garden at the time and I looked over into his yard and informed him that it was still there but the wind had blown it over. He came outside and wanted to pay me for it but I said he had to pay me in pancakes.

Both of our flamingos have been bleaching in the sun all summer and have become more of a shell pink color. The other day I took it upon myself to uproot my neighbor's flamingo and spray paint it bright pink again. Later in the day I got a phone call saying "SOMEONE has vandalized my swan and painted it pink" and I said "that was me, do you want me to do your plants too" and he laughed and said "I'm calling the police"