an old con gag that will always be funny is someone cosplaying spy from tf2 in a group of people and they've got a different cosplay taped to their face to blend in

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@kingsmagiccard
an old con gag that will always be funny is someone cosplaying spy from tf2 in a group of people and they've got a different cosplay taped to their face to blend in

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earlier I was coming back up from skating and one of the starstruck little kids from across the hall asked me, “how are you allowed to drive on the inside?” (referring to the fact that I carefully skate in the hallway and elevator, because swapping shoes on and off for the one-block commute to and from the park is a massive pain in the ass), and I swear to god the dialogue options that flashed up on my heads-up display were
[] Nothing in the lease explicitly says I can’t, and all uncodified rules are merely suggestions
[] I’m probably not, but the only people in this building who are fast enough to actually stop me are the maintenance guys who are all charmed by my kind green eyes and adorable dog
[x] I ate all my vegetables and did my homework so my mom said I’m allowed to do whatever I want

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I feel like megaman fans don't discuss shadow coating his weapons with "unique and deadly liquid material that causes mechanical malfunctions"
shadow man are you venomous? do you have robot venom? because that's cool as hell
i'm gonna use this as an excuse to talk about my headcanon. that all of ra moon's dolls are hilariously hazardous, to fit with its whole "all conscious beings should die in abject agony because i hate them" philosophy. the black/"shadowy" portions of shadow man's body are made of a deadly substance that can shift phases and be transformed into weapons. so in my mind shadow man's shadow blades aren't just coated in venom, they're literally MADE of it. shadow blade can also "melt" into whatever it hits to cause further problems. bc the world rlly needed that.
Evil wizard tasteful pin-up magazine but it's all photos of like, skinny old goths coyly fingering cursed amulets, long-bearded sorcerers doing the 'oopsie' pose as their corrosive destruction spell destroys enough of their own robes to show some skin, naked desiccated lich king positioning his staff of human skulls just so it leaves something to the imagination, dark knights in full armor just holding their soul-eating blades out in front of their codpieces, orc chieftain who did not understand the assignment and is posing with a monster he killed like one of those guys-with-fish photos. Or maybe he DID understand the assignment. Hmm.
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oh wonderful i will get some mileage out of this as a new reaction image

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My mom likes to tell me about how when I was a little kid riding public transport with her I'd always smile and giggle and chat with weird old ladies who smelled like cat pee and homeless folks and strangers dressed in bizarre outfits but any time a tidy and respectable businessman in a suit and tie waved at me I'd immediately clam up, and she takes a great deal of pride in my supposed inherentability to clock personalities but the truth is I do vaguely remember those bus rides, and it was never about the clothes or the hair or the smell, but more because everyone "strange" asked interesting questions and listened to what I had to say and seemed to think about what I said while the neat and tidy and rigid folks only ever acted like they were going through the motions, which was boring as hell and also pretty annoying
Well-to-do finance manager with tidy shoes: "Why hello, sweetheart. Can you say 'hi'? Aren't you cute. Are you on a trip with your mom?"
4 year old me: why must we do this
Fantastic old woman in the leopard print coat: "Why yes, my tooth IS real silver! Nobody ever asks me that. Do you like cats?"
4 year old me, suddenly paying attention: Finally, A Person Of Intellect
His greed makes me sick
I love u so much Fabolous Man
you can be peeling a boiled egg and think to yourself wow. that was so simple. and then you peel another one and it’s like being in the throes of war. shell everywhere. egg mangled. tears in your eyes. that’s how god keeps you humble
[very clearly indulging the urge] im fighting the urge

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If I buy peachicks today nobody tell my bank account, I’ll tell the poor thing it’s money for groceries XD
<-me, the motherfucker that keeps spending my money
I lied, I bought Cochins instead XD