welcome in

To be honest with you, I’ve never been as scared as I am right now. Over my life, I have had to pretend to be something I wasn’t. And to become what I wanted to become, I couldn’t be what I am. I am a gay man. I am a gay man! Why did I have to be so afraid to say that? Because I know that people are afraid of people that are different than them. And admitting that I am different and refusing to be something that I am not and refusing to pretend to be something I am not may cause me a career of pretending to be things I am not which is kind of crazy when you think about it. But I did. I did. For years, I was living inside a fake world of a movie set never daring to imagine that one day, I might be brave enough to do something like this. 

They should have been given time to sit on Shane's couch while Rose plays Twenty Questions trying to get to the bottom of who Shane is fucking.

Shane should have told Rose about the Tampa hotel room and Rose should have hit him with a pillow and said, "NO. The fuck boy does NOT have a heart of gold, Shane Hollander."

Shane should have had the opportunity to text Rose, "I'm making a bad choice," and then two hours later, "Fuck I am DONE I am NEVER doing this again" because Ilya got up to shower too quickly and Shane hurt his own feelings about it.

There should be a series of texts in Rose and Shane's history that just say, "Relapsed," all of them sent at three in the morning accompanied by a selfie of Shane in Ilya's fuckass navy blue sheets. Rose's habitual response is Not a relapse if you never stopped 😐

They should have met up after Shane was up all night getting just absolutely railed into the mattress and Rose should have reached across the table to lift up Shane's hangover sunglasses and said, "That dick better be unbelievable," and Shane should have miserably said, "It is."