The Batfamily As Soap
Dick Grayson:
Jason Todd:
Tim Drake:
Damian Wayne:
Duke Thomas:
Bruce Wayne:
Alfred Pennyworth:
Stephanie Brown:
Cassandra Cain:
Barbara Gordon:

â

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@kingofscarrs
The Batfamily As Soap
Dick Grayson:
Jason Todd:
Tim Drake:
Damian Wayne:
Duke Thomas:
Bruce Wayne:
Alfred Pennyworth:
Stephanie Brown:
Cassandra Cain:
Barbara Gordon:

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every movie soundtrack wants what Lion King 2: Simbaâs Pride has
He lives in you? transcendent
We are One? a fucking jam
My Lullaby? your villian WISHES their song was this good
how could I forget Not One of Us? a deception⌠an outrage⌠a disgrace⌠for shame
think before you speak/type or the chokehold fairy will get you  Â
reblog/retweet, donât repost
Thatâs it. Thatâs his whole character.
You ever meet someone so beautiful and perfect you just hate them? Like, everyone else loves them cuz theyâre super personable and friendly and they also kick butt, and itâs absolutely sickening. How dare they walk in here with perfect fucking cheekbones and hips that donât lie and then flash that cute little smile?? And theyâre mentally stable and have their life together? Theyâre carrying up their emotional baggage like a pro on this mountain we call life. Everyone instantly respects them like they are the coolest kid on the block. And they have a freaking significant other who just matches their spunk perfectly.
Fuck them. Fuck them and their confidence and great ass and two living, healthy parents.

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Iâm fairly certain that the people who make the âbatman could make himself obsolete by using his money to solve the economic strain that drives many people to crimeâ posts are only familiar with Batman through Will Arnettâs spoof performance in the Lego movie, since thatâs the only version of Batman I know where he isnât hiring so many ex-convicts at his company so they have a legitimate source of income and using so much money to fund social programs that all the other bigwigs at Wayne Enterprises hate him and want him gone
Literally every version of his origin story I can remember involves him realizing that he canât just treat the symptoms as Batman, he has to treat the root cause as Bruce Wayne. A huge part of the plot of âThe Dark Knight Risesâ is that his company is on the verge of bankruptcy because Bruce keeps spending all their profits on things like âclean energyâ and âfood and shelter for orphans.â
The opening of âArkham Cityâ shows him campaigning against mass incarceration because the majority of the inmates in Arkham City are not public menaces like the Joker, theyâre desperate people with no other options, and Gotham should be providing them with legitimate means of stability rather than punishing them for having none.
Especially since the majority of his villains are independently wealthy people (doctors, lawyers, business executives) who are exploiting peopleâs desperation in order to get themselves henchmen, and the henchmen almost always have jobs with a living wage waiting for them on the other side of their sentence, and Bruce has a standing offer to pay out-of-pocket for the therapy of any of his villains whose crimes are the result of a mental illness (which Bruce is sympathetic to since he is mentally ill himself)
But whatâs really damning about these posts is that a lot of them suggest Bruce should use his money to give the police the resources they need to deal with crime on their own, which makes it clear theyâve never actually consumed a piece of Batman media, since the issue with the Gotham Police is not that theyâre underfunded. They have a bloated budget, theyâre almost militant, and theyâre so corrupt that they actually encourage crime, both violent and economic, because theyâre on the payroll of the richest criminals.Â
Also, some of them refer to Batman as a âold rich white manâs wet dreamâ and I really disagree here. A story that says the only rich dude in the world whoâs not a criminal drain on society is the one who spends the majority of his hefty inheritance and all his corporate profits trying to correct the imbalance that allowed him his wealth in the first place, whose staunch belief is that the best crime control policy is building a world where no one feels crime is necessary, as well as refusing to support mass incarceration or police corruption, systems which stand to benefit him financially? Batman is an old rich white manâs worst nightmare.Â
if movies about men got reviewed the same way movies about women did
âLook. Donât get me wrong: no one is happier than me to see a man finally starring in a lead role in an action movie (especially when they look as tantalizing in a tank top as Mr. Willis.) but at the end of the day, the hard truth about Die Hard is this: itâs mediocre. The script is bland, the pacing is excruciating, and although it has a few decent lines, itâs trying way, way too hard to be funny and only succeeding half the time. The focus on âmale empowermentâ is way too overt and comes across as ham-fisted, like the movie is trying to beat the audience over the head with âSEE? MEN CAN LEAD ACTION MOVIES, TOO!â without seeming to have anything more nuanced to say about the matter. Ultimately, Bruce Willis climbing around a building and beating up terrorists for two hours isnât quite interesting enough to hold this reviewerâs attention. If you can shut off your brain and pretend not to notice the glaringly obvious plot holes riddled through this corporate-engineered script, then Die Hard may be the film for you. If not, however, youâll probably be better off rewatching Oceanâs 8 instead.â
i donât know what iâm supposed to do, haunted by the ghost of you
You only live once.
ăă01

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I belong nowhere
iâm sorry but the dragon prince has no business having all these fine ass men in it
So youâve got this typical story about an average kid right? Only, surprise surprise, he actually turns out to be more than average. See, one day, when he was just minding his own business, heâs suddenly told that he is this super-being who has to save the world from evil. Again, itâs your basic tropes all lined up and ready to go.
Only hereâs the thing.
The kid?
He runs away.
And this isnât just a âOh, I need some time to think but Iâll come around in a day or two and fulfill my destiny.â
No this kid is gone. For the first time in his life, this kind and generous kid makes a selfish decision. He knows what the consequences are. He knows whatâs at stake. He knows that lives are going to be in danger. And he still chooses to run away.
Things take an abrupt turn when he gets into an accident and he ends up in a coma. He wakes up years later and guess what? Him running away from his duties that day? Yeah it kind of caused the entire world to be plunged into chaos. This kid, this kid, is now responsible for thousands upon thousands of deaths.
At the age of twelve, this kind pacifist single-handedly becomes a mass-murderer by association. All because he ran away.
A few older teenagers find him and immediately help him. They donât think much of it. Theyâre used to helping out anyone they can. After all, the war has killed people they love, family, friends. So they help this kid before they even realize that heâs destined. And this kid, this kid isnât even fully aware of just how many people he inadvertently killed.
Until they go to the âcityâ where he was from. He doesnât understand why theyâre so worried but when he gets thereâŚhe gets it. There is no âcityâ. Not anymore. Itâs abandoned ruins lined with skeletonsâhis friends, his family. He finds his fatherâs corpse. He finds signs of a struggle. Everyone he knew is dead. And there are so many more. Hundreds. Thousands. All dead. All because of him.
Heâs a good kid, a great kid. He wouldnât hurt a fly.
And he led to thousands of deaths.
All because he ran away.
And this entire story is just the first three episodes of Avatar: The Last Airbender. (Four if you count borrowing some information from The Storm.)
Avatar showed all of this in just three episodes. Actually it showed this and more. Because this is just one characterâs story and they introduced us to half a dozen major characters, each with stories just as, if not even more, tragic than this one.
Long story short, we always talk about how amazing Avatar is for the representation and art and animation and music and morals but we rarely ever talk about how amazing the story is. The horrible irony that Aang, a pacifistic monk who was kind and generous to everyone he met, inadvertently led to thousands of people dying in a century-long warâitâs one of the greatest stories that Iâve ever heard of. This doesnât even include all of the other consequences we see throughout the seriesâvillages being destroyed, families living in fear, people being dragged off to concentration camps in the middle of the night, kids turning into terrorists, refugees being forced to walk thousands of miles to get to a safe haven, the injuries, the fear, the trauma. (And this is all just in Book One. Donât even get me started on the other two.) Itâs hard to say that itâs all Aangâs fault but his disappearance certainly had a huge impact on the horrible things that occurred.
And the worst part is?
He knew.
we need to talk about shrek more

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I love so much how some Shiro stans are taking two yearsâ worth of slowly growing disappointment and channeling it into near-chaotic positivity about the Atlas and the new setup.
Black Lion doesnât want him? Weâve got a bigger robot who does.
Team Voltron had no room for him? Weâve got a bigger team that does.
A-plot doesnât want him? Well this seasonâs B-plot called him âSirâ all the time and was all about Earth coming together and pooling our alien and homegrown resources, our global talent, and our will in a massive cooperative effort showing hey universe, humans are space-orks, and hey universe, we held out by the skin of our teeth without Voltron and we went from nobody to winning in 4 measly years and we defend our OWN home
The universe doesnât want him defending it? EARTH WANTS HIM DEFENDING IT
Stanning this character was constantly hearing how eeeeeverything would be better in a universe where he wasnât black paladin and wasnât on the team and YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU KNOW WHAT MAYBE HEâS BETTER OFF AWAY FROM YOU TOO
Look. Youâre Team Voltron and we love you. We love you very much. Youâre our heroes. Youâre our heroes. And even if you werenât, Shiro loves you so what else would we do?
But in addition to that
THIS IS OUR GIANT UGLYASS GORGEOUS THICK-THIGHED, TINY-WAISTED LADY DANGER-ESQUE MECHA WHO KICKS ASS IN HEELS AND WE FUCKING LOVE HER
THIS IS OUR LARGELY MIDDLE-AGED CREW OF BADASSES THAT SAVED VOLTRONâS BUTT AT A CRITICAL JUNCTURE AND YEAH WE LOVE THEM!! THE RHEUMY EYES OF TIME ARE COMING FOR ALL OF YOU YOU ONLY WISH YOUâLL LOOK THIS GOOD
ANDÂ
THIS
THIS IS OUR FUCKING COMMANDER WHO IS THE HOTTEST THING IN THIS OR ANY VOLTRON VERSE AND WE LOVE THE HELL OUTTA HIM
To the spiders in the ceiling corners: youâre keeping your end of the contract, love u honeys catch those tasty flies
To the spiders halfway down the wall and touchin my furniture: youâre on thin fucking ice babes
To the spiders who think itâs funny to sit next to my shampoo in the shower: see you in hell