Random Noises

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Yashiro is having some complicated feelings this chapter.

Thank you to everyone who sent congratulations and said nice things! ^^ I'm extremely short on time these days so I can't respond (having a baby is hard, it turns out!) but they always bring a smile to my face <3

As I just mentioned, I don't have much time unfortunately so I can't write much about my thoughts on this chapter, but for me the most interesting part was Yashiro's conversation with Amou. I also love how Kamiya just wants to help but also can't bring himself to stop being an asshole about it lol

Sensei's name isn't in the list of contributors for the next issue so I think it's safe to say this chapter closes volume 10 which means we'll now be on hiatus for a while. I think chapters will likely start up again around spring of next year? Hopefully? But in the meantime we can look forward to the official release of volume 10 as well as the drama cd ^^.

On a personal note, I had my baby! He's a happy baby boy and I've recovered from the c section well. ^^ Thank you to everyone who sent such lovely messages of encouragement. I enjoyed reading them while I was bed ridden after the surgery lol <333

I've waited over 10 long years for this moment. I still can't believe it; Doumeki has finally fulfilled his dream, and I hope Yashiro finds some peace before the storm breaks. Are you ready? I hope you enjoy it too until the chapter is released in better quality.

💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞

At last, Yashiro has surrendered to his feelings. If we recall, he has often been guarded against them, but now the rain falls upon him and washes everything away: his fears, his mistakes, and that self-destructive mindset that has prevented him from feeling worthy of being loved. Doumeki, with the help of his entire circle—Amou, Kamiya, Nanahara, even Kageyama—has achieved what we thought impossible: that Yashiro, for the first time, follows his heart and is happy. From my perspective, it doesn't matter if this happiness is brief, as long as he has found a little peace. I am truly happy for him and for my beloved Doumeki, who deserves this and more.

The opening pages are the conversation between Amou and Tsunakawa that was previewed officially.

Tsunakawa reminds Amou:

"You said that guy has nowhere to go back to, right?"

Amou apologizes.

Tsunakawa responds sarcastically:

 "Funny. Even the guy himself isn't apologizing."

Amou says he had hoped that during the past four years Doumeki would learn things like obligation and gratitude.

Tsunakawa replies:

 "Maybe he'll understand from here on."

Then Tsunakawa says:

 "Not that I'm bragging, but I've never devoted myself to another person. I can't understand it, and I don't want to."

Amou answers:

 "That probably has something to do with your upbringing."

Tsunakawa:

"But you understand it, don't you? That's why you brought him here."

A flashback panel shows a young Amou looking slightly embarrassed while Misumi rests a hand on his head.

Amou reveals that bringing Doumeki to Tsunakawa was a personal favor he asked of him, and Tsunakawa only accepted it because they were old acquaintances.

As Amou leaves, he tells Tsunakawa:

 "You can count it as a debt I owe you."

But once in the car he thinks:

 "He's absolutely going to make me pay him back later."

Then they arrive at their destination.

---

Yashiro and Nanahara

Back at the office.

Yashiro returns visibly irritated.

Nanahara approaches him.

While covering part of his face with one hand, Yashiro complains that they still haven't found Kai's hideout.

Nanahara asks:

"Were you maybe going to see Doumeki?"

Yashiro immediately shoots him a sharp look, throws an ashtray at his head, and snaps:

"Don't stick your nose into this."

Nanahara pushes back.

He says:

Ever since Doumeki appeared, Yashiro has been acting strange.

Maybe Doumeki said something to him.

He's not stupid; he can put things together.

He was the last person who spoke to Doumeki four years ago.

Then Nanahara reveals:

"Back then, he said that if he wasn't in this world anymore, he'd no longer have any connection to you."

At first Nanahara thought Doumeki had simply changed after joining the Sakura family.

But now he realizes:

"That wasn't it. It was because of that, wasn't it?"

Yashiro tries to brush it off:

"Who knows? It has nothing to do with me."

Nanahara continues:

"Then why are you so miserable?"

Yashiro:

"I'm just tired. What, are you trying to tell me what to do now?"

Nanahara says he isn't.

He only thinks that maybe Doumeki no longer has anywhere he belongs.

Maybe someone should help him.

Yashiro cuts him off:

"Nobody can help him."

Then Yashiro says:

"Ignoring Tsunakawa's pride, pretending I forgot him, throwing him away just so he could stay in the same world as me... how is that any different from obsession?"

At that moment,

Amou appears.

---

Amou and Yashiro

The two talk at a café.

The dialogue isn't shown, but Amou apparently explains how Doumeki came to be under Tsunakawa's care.

Yashiro says he understands now, though he's genuinely surprised.

Then he asks Amou:

"Why did you go so far as to help Doumeki behind Misumi's back?"

Amou begins talking about his relationship with Misumi.

He explains:

Misumi married Amou's mother.

They were never legally adopted.

Misumi offered to pay his living expenses and tuition, but Amou refused and graduated university through his own efforts.

It was at university that he met Tsunakawa.

Amou says he always admired Misumi.

Even though he understood why Misumi never adopted him, he still wanted to become family.

He wanted to exist in the same world as him.

So instead of becoming a yakuza, he became Misumi's secretary. (After Misumi finally gave in.)

Amou says:

"I wanted to be someone like a son to him... the way you are."

Yashiro immediately replies:

"People don't sleep with their sons."

Then Amou asks the crucial question:

"Four years ago, when you abandoned Doumeki... was it for his sake? Or for your own?"

Yashiro freezes in shock.

Seeing his reaction, Amou stands up and leaves.

Beside Yashiro's seat, rain has begun to strike the window.

---

Yashiro gets a phone call.

Someone asks:

"Where are you right now?"

Heavy rain is falling.

Yashiro walks through it without an umbrella.

A car suddenly stops beside him.

Then, 

"Don't move. Do you know how long I've been looking for you?"

It's Kamiya.

Kamiya says:

"I don't understand what's so great about you."

"That stubborn bastard is completely wrapped around your finger. Either you're incredible in bed, or you're unbelievably compatible."

"Either way, only a weirdo would go this far."

Yashiro keeps walking.

Kamiya continues:

"You must really be worth enough to throw a man's whole life into chaos."

Still no reaction.

Finally Kamiya clicks his tongue.

"Say something, damn it. You're disgusting."

Then he throws a hotel key at Yashiro's back.

Yashiro stops and glances over his shoulder.

Kamiya says:

"'His reason for living'... that's what you are."

"Aren't you embarrassed?"

Then:

"The night after tomorrow, Kai gets killed. After serving prison time for it, he'll be expelled from the organization."

"If he only comes to his senses when he's an old man, he'll be completely screwed."

Then Kamiya drives away.

Yashiro stands there.

The hotel key lies on the wet ground.

He closes his eyes and looks up at the rainy sky.

---

The Hotel

The scene shifts.

Doumeki is in the hotel room handling his gun.

The doorbell rings.

He opens the door.

Standing there is Yashiro, soaked by the rain.

Doumeki is stunned.

Without saying a word, Yashiro places a hand against his face and leans in himself.

Then... 

He kisses him (❗❗❗❗❗) 

Doumeki's eyes remain open in shock.

Yashiro closes his eyes and kisses him desperately, completely absorbed in it.

They move inside the room.

Their lips part once.

They stare at each other.

Then, 

Doumeki firmly wraps his arms around Yashiro.

Yashiro loops both arms around Doumeki's neck.

And they kiss again.

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