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I'll tell you about a Professor there that no one should take, a friend told me about him, his name is Ian McCance! He is a math professor, he is a caucasian guy. All I know and hear about him, is like wow really?! He is very disrespectful, and he wants it his way or the highway. He doesn't hear students out, he doesn't really care what you say. He reported on her, and she did nothing wrong, expect express how she felt, and told him how she was feeling. He threw her under the bus! I couldn't believe what I was hearing, like wow! this school allows this and does nothing for the student, just because he is a professor and she is the student. I just said, be careful, because a lot of schools don't care if they do. The student would get the credit and not the professor.

Here is the thing, once a week when I'm at the center I take pictures and videos of the young children for my classwork and assignments, when a child is registered at the center, parents sign these documents that allow us college students to take pictures and videos and we keep them for school work purpose only. So when I was told that I couldn't get a copy of that video, I'm like wait what the fuck!?!? Like seriously? When the parent signs that document I have access to pictures and videos, so what the fuck is the differences? I am upset and frustrated if the parents didn't want pictures or videos taken of their young children, they shouldn't have signed that document. So it's like that video is mine and I was denied access! That doesn't make sense to me at all.

It's finally the weekend, I just know I'm smoking a blunt listening to some music, and enjoying my weekend. The sad thing is, I miss my dog. I haven't been on here in a long time. I used to speak about my dog, his name is Brownie, he lives with my ex-boyfriend. My ex told me to fuck off, that it wasn't my dog. I paid for him, so he is my dog, but haven't seen him in years. I'm hoping one day I'll get to see him again, I sure do miss him more than you know.

Can someone give me some advice or anything that will help? Thank you

Amazon! Now i see why people leave that company, your rude as hell! Disrespectful, or very rude. That isn’t a good look for the company at all.

so the other day, my man went to the movies with his best friend, I was upset because he didnt take me. Its been a year and half since we been to the movies, it was our date night. Like every week we went, and then when the pandemic hit. We stopped going, yea we had movie nights at his place, but then again, his best friends mom, she didnt approve of me, like she didnt like the fact we were a couple, and told my man, that if he ever got me pregnant he didnt have to stay with me. Like she isnt even his mother and she is saying this shit. Anyways, yea i was upset, then again. i had to think, weve been together well since the pandemic hit. we met like two month befor everything went to shit. we live together, and do almost everything together. I shouldnt have gotten upset over it at all. Like i really over reacted. I regret that. Ive been regretting alot of shit, that i shouldnt have said or done. It pissed me off that i did them in the first place. either because it was the heat of the moment, or because i did it anyways. yes i have my regrets.

#betterday im happy, today was good, Ive been positive, making sure i keep my cool. Help out alot more around the house, i still feel like im not wanted by him, no affecttion no love. I understand that summer is coming, and its going to be fucking hot. i get that.. I hate the fact that he rather show brownie love and not really me.. I try not to make a big deal out of it, but it does hurt. im trying my best, to show him im doing my best.. Its hard when he does believe you and then doesnt believe you. I am really trying. I wanna make sure im doing my part, then again i dont wanna fuck up again. I miss my boyfriend, plus ive been backing off alot. When he is really he will show me. So im waiting for that to take place, otherwise im being me and not being so pushy and annoying. 

He doesnt show it in public at all, im lucky even if he did show a lil otheriwse he doesnt show anything. Sometimes i wonder if were even a couple, he doesnt show love, its only when he feels like it, he hates cuddling unless he is asleep and its time for bed. He will show it in his sleep. Otherwise he doesnt show it at all. I have to beg him for affection, or to cuddle. I stopped that recently. I stopped asking for sex or affection. When the time comes, he will ask for something. im gonna literally say no thank you. Ive tried for almost two years to touch you, i got nothing, you rejected me, or say not in the mood. It was hard, yes i thought alot you were cheating on me, because you didnt seem yourself. so i just stopped trying to be a girlfriend to you. all he does he give me kissed and says babe and baby all the time, on a good day, hell grab my hand. in my head im excited, then again, like how long will this last? im always wondering 

Men have money, they choose not to be with their partners. Im wondering if i should be pissed or annoyed right now. there is alot going on in my head, i dont know which i should consider at all. i want to be pissed, i want to yell and scream at him, then again i dont. he knows im upset. he saw how i looked at him, when they drove off to the movies. He knows what im thinking, im just not gonna go that direction. There is no point. talking is overrated to me, i dont know what to do at this point. Thank goodness he doesnt read any of my post. Honestly we would have the biggest fight ever i think.

no i havent done any investigation at all. im just surprised i saw those messages. He doesnt know that i saw them, i mean he was asking for a bj?! like are you fucking kidding me? im your girlfriend, yet yout on porn sites asking for this shit. I didnt confront him about it. It doesnt seem like he went to see them, i guess he wanted to message them and ask. I wanna confront him, then again, i dont know how to approach him about it. Like what do you say to that? babe i did something stupid and i discovered something, and im not sure how to ask you or dont wanna upset you. I cant assume, thats what i dont do. Im gonna figure this out. I feel like a bad girlfriend like seriously bad girlfriend.

So recently after we talked, its been talking more, and working on things. The one thing that got me upset, is that, he was looking into porn or what you call it a hooker! yes i found text messages to females. The reason i jnow it was a hooker/prostitute is because they asked him for his age, race, and asked him if he was in law enforcement which he isnt. So i messaged them, they sent me a address and it was the disney hotel one. I was in shock! cant believe he was or considering it.

been having better days, being patient and also understand a lot more. Just been communicating with my boyfriend alot better. The funny thing is, he doesnt know i have a journal or this app.. He doesnt know about how ive been feeling, or that i write them down on here. all i can say, i wanna keep having these better days and i wanna stay positive as much as possible.

it wasnt a bad day. Im proud of myself, been controlling my mood swings alot more, been able to talk with my man alot more as well. Telling him how i feel, i havent told him about tracking his texts and calls. Like i said before i cant accuse him or assume anything is going on. All i can do is take it day by day and see what happens. I fell like a bitch og a girlfriend doing this to her boyfriend.I trust him, just with the message i saw. Im like confused and wondering now. Im staying positive and just being cautious thats all i can do right now..

How do you become positive in your relationship, when “possible” your partner may or may not be cheating? Its scary for me even to type this or even think about it. We’ve been together for 131/2months. Never really been apart expect for when we have to work. Otherwise were always together. we love eachother, he has always been honest with me since the beginning, so for me to even be thinking this way, scares the shit out of me honestly..