problemos ahoy

I have to mention that the studio recording for this ep was 8 months ago, so unfortunately I've forgotten a lot of details – this write up is the best I could do based on the notes I wrote down after the recording back in September

So, after several hours of queuing outside, the audience is let into the studio and you get your seat. Then it takes another hour before the show starts (this is my experience, but probably it varies from recording to recording). That hour went by quickly as I had never been in a TV studio before and was fascinated by everything that goes on before the filming starts – I enjoyed watching what various members of the crew were doing and looking at the details of the set.

First, a couple of things that surprised me. The platform/stage where Greg and Alex and the contestants sit is REALLY small. For some reason, when I saw that stage up close, the first thing that popped into my head was this outtake from series 6 where Greg and Alex are spinning around holding hands:

and what I was thinking was that I can't believe they didn't fall off or crash into the chairs when they did that. Also, the first row of the audience seats is so close to the stage that if you sit there it would be possible to touch it if you just leaned forward a bit.

Another minor detail – the thrones aren't actually shiny gold colour like you see on screen, the colour is kind of faded/dull gold, and the thrones look shiny only when the stage lighting is on.

Some of the pre-show time is taken up by the crew moving audience members around – some people are moved to fill the gaps in the rows, some shorter people are moved to places where taller people would block a camera etc.

They also check if things are working properly and fix things if need be – at this recording something wasn't right with a camera high up in the ceiling – I think it was the one that shows the studio from this angle:

so they brought out a VERY tall ladder and a member of the studio crew climbed up and did something up there.

This pre-show time is apparently also when some VIP audience members/production guests get shown around backstage, get their photos taken etc (I don't remember if it was at this recording or the NYT recording but one of the people showing some production guests around in the area behind the big VT screen was Andy D).

There's also a lot of studio security whose job is to constantly watch the audience members to make sure no one takes out their phone (there's a very strict "phones must be switched off" policy).

Another thing worth mentioning is that when Alex has props for his opening banter, then it's the floor manager who brings them to the stage and leaves them on his throne/in the drawer. The floor manager also brings out Greg's cards and leaves them on the table for him. Having now seen more than one recording, it seems that when you see the floor manager bring these things onto the stage, it's a sign that they're nearly ready to start the recording.

While you're sitting there waiting for the show to start, the full studio lights are on. And then, when the team is ready, suddenly without warning the full lights go off (and only the stage remains brightly lit), which makes everyone in the audience go "Oooh!" in unison, and the show starts. I can't describe how exciting that moment was for me the first time I experienced it.

Greg on stage

Greg is always the first one to be called onto the stage after the warm-up comedian (Mark) has finished. Greg chats a bit with the audience and lets people ask questions. One of the things I remember from this bit is that Greg took off his suit jacket and showed us his backless waistcoat – it was specially made for him because of his sweating (apparently he shows this to the audience at most recordings).

An audience member asked him what advice he would give to someone who has just quit teaching. Greg said, "Celebrate and have sex with everyone. That's what I did." Then he started giggling and said something like, "You don't have to do everything I did." One more question I remember was who would Greg choose if he had to replace Alex as his assistant. Greg said he would have to think about whose spirit he could break. Then he said that with Alex he sometimes feels guilty (about breaking his spirit).

Also, an audience member got to sit on Greg's throne (at Greg's invitation).

Greg and Alex's hug

Then Greg calls Alex onto the stage and it's time for their awkward hug. This time it was one of their Titanic hugs. Greg opened his arms, Alex went behind him and put his arms around Greg. It looked a bit like this promo image from s18:

except Alex wasn't peeking out from behind Greg, he just stood behind him and held him.

Alex's improvisation

After the hug it's time for Alex's improvisation – Greg asks the audience if they want the show to start or if they want to see Alex improvise a song and dance. Of course the audience always want to see Alex sing and dance. The audience shouts out some suggestions for what style should the dance be and also a topic for the song. Greg decides which one Alex will do. My notes say: country style, about fragility of life?? But I don't unfortunately remember anything about it.

The show starts

Then they call the contestants onto the stage and start the show. It's also worth mentioning that the audience (which is different for each recording) doesn't know beforehand who the contestants are and only find out in the studio when the show starts.

Once the recording starts it plays out exactly like a broadcast episode, starting with the opening credits and ending with the winner's celebration on stage, with breaks at the same points as in the broadcast. But all the studio discussions go on for way longer than what you see in the broadcast ep and obviously there are breaks for setting up the live task and the prizes for the winner at the end etc. Overall, in my experience, it's about 3.5 hours from the moment the show starts until they've finished filming pick-ups and the audience is let out of the studio. As the length of a broadcast episode is around 47 minutes, it's clear that a lot of comedy gold is left on the cutting room floor...

Greg's intro

When Greg started to read out his intro, it turned out the autocue was upside down and they had to fix that first.

After Greg's intro for Alex and his comment about Alex wanting women to be "more hirsute downstairs" several contestants (not just Amy) said that they didn't know what "hirsute" means, and then everyone started discussing what Alex had said to Greg and what he could've possibly meant by those things he said. So finally Alex felt the need to defend himself and said quite vehemently, "I did not say ANY of these things!" It was very funny.

Banter section

The banter section was actually longer compared to what was shown in the broadcast ep. Greg said something like, "Is that it, normally there's something for us to go on, but this time nothing," so Alex said he has some things for Greg. First, he had a picture of a dog (the one you can briefly see in the ep):

Then he gave Greg some chocolate, and also 40 pounds. Greg said he'll give the money to the contestant who pleases him that day. But later on in the episode, Greg was pleased with himself about something (I don't remember what), and said, "20 pounds for Greg", took the money he'd promised to a contestant earlier, and put it in his jacket pocket. Also, during one of the breaks, Kumail ate the chocolate and shared some with members of the audience.

Some notes about tasks

During the prize task, the Braille menu chat went on for a while, and started one of the running jokes in the episode, which was about asking permission for various things. I think it started with asking permission for something from the visually impaired community. Having to ask permission was brought up again and again at various points throughout the episode (there was also a moment when a member of the audience was asked for permission for something), and because of this running joke Greg's end-of-episode "What have we learned today" was also about asking permission (more about that later on).

During the "switch on the telly" task when they revealed that Joel touched the TV with his bum, there was much longer discussion in the studio whether touching someone with your bum counts as touching or not. In the broadcast ep the camera cuts away at this point:

but in my notes I've written that Greg actually stood up and started to move towards Alex, bum first, as if to sit on him, but then sat back down on his own throne. Eventually Amy said that men saying that touching someone with your bum isn't touching is not OK, and they moved on.

When they showed the VT for the sock task there was a long conversation in the studio about what is considered as "standing up"

The "half lob" chat went on for a while and was very funny. Greg said the editors will cut all of it out because it's too blue. Alex (in character) said that he thought that "half lob" is an innocent term, something that you use when talking about sports, like tennis, for example. And Greg had to explain that they were talking about erections. When Armando and Greg bonded over Armando saying "if a soft lob counts as standing up then there's hope for many of us", then Alex said to Greg "good luck with that."

The live task went on for far longer than Alex and Greg expected it to, because all the contestants were really good at it. So they decided to go up to four and then very quickly to five-digit sequences so someone would make a mistake.

I have to say I didn't focus at all on remembering the tasks because I knew I would see the VTs again once the episode airs. So while I did keep an eye on the VTs, I was mostly watching what Greg and Alex were doing when the VTs play. Alex is mostly watching the screen but he's also often tapping away on his iPad, sometimes he glances at a contestant or Greg. Greg is always watching the screen and often writes down notes on his cards. Sometimes he leans over to Alex and whispers something to him (behind his cards), occasionally pointing at a thing he's written down. It's possible that their mics are turned off when the VTs are playing because you can't hear anything when they are whispering to each other (at least I didn't). But I think Greg just asks clarification about some details or asks Alex to let the gallery know that he wants a clip of something to be replayed to the audience (like Amy's "remix" clip during the sock task in this particular episode, for example).

One of my favourite task/contestant-related memories was this one:

this got a really good reaction in the studio as well, Greg was especially delighted.

Ad break links (these are cut from the Youtube version)

I was sure that the dog leash bit would be included in the broadcast episode and not cut, mainly because the bit that followed it got the biggest laugh of the episode. So what happened after this moment:

as soon as they stepped off the stage, Greg dropped the leash and Alex took it off. Then the warm-up guy stepped up and said that this was for certain people on the internet, and asked the audience if we've heard of Taskmaster fanfiction. Then Greg and Alex returned to the stage and did the poo bag bit

After Greg lifted the poo bag it was a long while before Alex could say his doughnut line because both the audience and the contestants absolutely lost it laughing.

I remember thinking that Alex's "Why did you pick it up?" and Greg's "Because I'm your owner" may be cut from the episode because of too much audience noise as people were still laughing loudly but luckily all of it was left in. (Side note: I think that these lines weren't scripted)

When they started the VT after that, Greg gave the poo bag to the floor manager who took it away. Later on in the episode Greg wanted to do another joke with the poo bag, but couldn't - he opened his drawer to take the bag out, and only then remembered that he'd given it away.

At one point, Greg and Alex also recorded a bunch of generic ad break links – the kind of links where Greg just says something like, "Time for a break, see you in a few minutes". So I guess they use these when one of the links they've recorded for the episode needs to be cut for some reason.

"What have we learned today?"

As I mentioned before, one of the running jokes in the episode was asking permission for various things. Because of this, Greg's "What have we learned today" bit at the end of the ep was also about asking permission. He gave examples of things people may want to do and followed it with "you have to ask permission". One of those things was a callback to the dog leash and poo bag ad break link – Greg said, "If you want to go and do a poo on the lawn outside the studio, you ask permission." I don't really remember what the final thing he said was, but my notes say: Kumail gives Greg permission to speak with a Pakistani accent (voice-over). So I think it may have been something like – Kumail's voice-over for the final line and Greg was just moving his lips and not actually speaking, kind of a callback to the "revoice this footage" task.

Pick-ups

At the end of the show, once the winner of the ep has done the celebration on stage, the contestants can leave and Greg and Alex stay behind to re-record some lines (because they've messed up or because the audience was making too much noise or for some other reason). Greg asked Andy C how many they have to do this time – apparently it's always around 10-12. At this recording it was 12.

When they've finished filming the pick-ups, Greg and Alex thank the audience, wave everyone goodbye, and leave the stage.

After that the audience can leave in stages. The first ones who can leave are the VIP/production guests (seems like they are always seated in the balcony seats located towards the back of the studio). And after that it's the audience members who had seats in the stalls, and then the rest of the balcony. It's all very well organised.

Audience Q&A

During breaks in the recording there's chat with the audience and the warm-up comedian – or sometimes Greg when he's on stage – says that people can ask questions. These are some questions I remember from various points in the recording:

The warm-up comedian was asked what's the difference between the old studio and the new one (starting from s21 they are filming in a new studio), the answer was that the dressing rooms are bigger and the studio is closer to Greg's place.

Greg was asked if he sees the VTs for the first time in the studio. He said that for the most part yes, but in case of some more complex tasks he gets shown the VTs before the recordings, to make sure he doesn't miss anything important. But he also said that he never makes judgements before the recording, he always makes decisions about points in the studio, in the moment.

Someone asked whether it's really Alex who writes the tasks. The warm-up comedian said that Alex has a team. Greg was actually on stage at the time, heard that, and took over answering the question. He said that it's still Alex who writes most of the tasks – it seemed to me that it was really important to him that Alex gets proper credit for what he does. (This is something that Greg often mentions in interviews as well – that he admires the fact that Alex is still able to come up with new tasks after all these years.)

When Greg was on stage waiting for the live task to start, someone asked how long it took to set up the sock task. Greg said he can find out and contacted Andy D via his earpiece. Apparently it took 30 minutes and 5 people – there were people who were unfolding, people who laid them on the floor, and someone who was ironing.

And now my favourite question. This was during one of the breaks when it was only Greg on stage, sitting on his throne. An audience member asked him whether he would want to spend Christmas at Alex's place (with Alex's family) or whether he'd want Alex to come over and spend Christmas at his place. Greg actually took a LONG moment to think about it, and then said that he likes Alex's family but he would want Alex to come to his place for Christmas because he'd like to have Alex's undivided attention. Alex was standing somewhere at the side of the studio at this time, and when he heard how Greg answered this question, he opened his arms and ran towards Greg, all excited and happy, as if to give him a hug, but when he got onto the stage he sat down on his own throne, and then they giggled together. (I might actually make a separate post about this at some point in the future, because it wasn't just what Greg said, it was also how he said it, and it's... something to ponder.)

More notes:

One thing I wanted to include in this write up is that Greg really makes Alex laugh A LOT during a recording – and I mean this kind of leaning-forward whole-body laugh that you can see in this screencap (an outtake from ep 2)

Greg had an earworm that day, he kept humming and singing some lyrics at random times throughout the recording, and was very annoyed about that. He actually mentioned what the song was, but unfortunately I didn't catch it.

At one point Alex said it would be a big problem if Kumail won, because they can't afford to fly him back from the US to film CoC. I have to stress that this was very clearly a joke.

They do explain relevant series-long running jokes to the audience – so they did explain to us that Joel is the only one doing the egg task

During those breaks in the recording when all the cast and Greg and Alex remain on stage, hair & makeup and costume people come onto the stage and touch up the makeup and go over their costumes with a lint roller if need be. (I was unreasonably excited that one of those people was Patrick – the person who amongst other things is responsible for choosing the socks Greg and Alex wear during recordings – I love their socks!) Greg was also brought a little hand-held fan, because he's always too hot, and he proudly showed it off to the audience.

It was surprising to me that the breaks in the recording are relatively short. Some are only a minute or two, some are maybe 5 minutes or perhaps a bit longer. But I guess it varies greatly from recording to recording. At this recording, even the break before the live task was short because they didn't need to set up any props for it.

One question that the warm-up comedian seems to ask every time is whether there's anyone in the audience who doesn't live in the UK. At my first recording I was a bit worried that I would be the only one there who is not from the UK, but there were actually quite a lot of audience members who had travelled from another country.

Final note:

I'd been trying to get tickets for a TM studio recording since s14, but was always unsuccessful, so finally getting one felt like winning the lottery. The cast was a joy, the energy in the studio was brilliant and it's clear that Greg and Alex still have so much fun doing this show together. And they're just SO FOND of each other. It's incredible to witness in person – a dream come true