oh well

I am such a gay slut for bulges, cocks and balls

learning at the vet that my 18 pound cat isn't overweight and is just "Huge" is so fucking funny and such a relief

its 2056. you wake up and your clothes jack you off. you go to take a shower (jacks you off) and insert a nutrition tablet in your mouth. it tastes like every dorito flavor at once. you go to your desk, it jacks you off. you lend your brain to main computation core of the Hegemony of Man, while it jacks you off. After 4 hours real time (it feels like you were being jacked off for a year) you go and plug in some entertainment. your brain is hooked up to the computer core, and it jacks you off. you get a notification in your field of vision. its a comm from your best friend, letting you know they are being jacked off. you hit like. its time for exercise, so walk towards the longevity pod where it exercise your body and jacks you off. your heart is full.

(via rwnewc, rwnewc, wantsuckin2)

(via bigcocklover020)

sign me up

men invented gay sex so they could have sex with each other