No Flash Pornography

getting up from bed cheats

getting up from bed codes

(ʘ‿ʘ✿) “what you say ‘bout me”

Me: I actually like to use women's deodorant because the stuff for men dries out my skin and smells like harsh chemicals

*BANG*

(3 hours later, at Walmart)

(Mobster holding Dove Advance Care in the deodorant aisle)

play like a white onion

He is played obviously camp and dramatic, for a start, and there is the aforementioned "hate your hair/not likely/yikes yikes yikes/let me guess you have a great personality" summary dismissal of all his potential brides. Then he spends dinner asking Yzma about Kronk ("so he seems nice? He's what, in his late twenties?") and otherwise being slightly obsessed with him.

Then there is the whole Adventure of Doom with Pacha, him being ever huffy about the Kiss of Life, and then the restaurant gag where Kuzco takes to playing Pacha's fake wife and dressing up in ladies' clothing with great gusto (reinforced by the waitress' "bless you for coming out in public" remark when Pacha says they're on their honeymoon). Then when he is finally de-llamafied, we don't see him paired off with the obligatory girl from the lineup earlier, as might otherwise be expected in a Disney movie. Instead he is still single, but goes to found family it up with Pacha, Chica, Kronk, etc, which dare we remark is a very queer trope.

In short, I have no idea how a Disney movie with no white people (all the characters are Indigenous/people of color), a gay king, cross-dressing jokes, and the most offbeat plot of all time actually ever got made (can you imagine the Family Friendly Mouse doing that today? Let us also talk about Kronk because he is a brilliant deconstruction of both toxic masculinity and the musclebound henchman stereotype.) Other than that this was the Chaos Hour of animated movies in the late 90s/early 2000s, and yes.

Please, read this article if you have some time. This story is wild, and involves directors being pitted against each other Bake-Off style and a shockingly intimate documentary created by the wife of Sting who, himself was heartbroken by the decimation of the songs he wrote for the film including cutting a fantastic Yzma villain song sung by Eartha Kitt that is SO DAMN GOOD but would not ever have fit the more nailed-down Yzma we would eventually come to know and love. It’s so catchy though, I’m doubling up on calls to action but please listen now:

ages 7-12: be an ‘old soul’

ages 12-16: allow the darkness to consume you

ages 16-19: be a kid for the first time ever

ages 19-30: develop dad lore

ages 30-35: court a beautiful lady

ages 35-40: get married, start a family

ages 40-55: promise to clean out the gutters and never do it again

ages 55-60: allow the darkness to consume you once more

ages 60-75: swinger cruises with your beautiful wife

ages 75-86: be an eccentric grandfather