No Flash Pornography

just saw a pigeon doing the puffed up courtship dance thing to another pigeon, and as he was strutting around he suddenly stopped for a split second to do a very brief preen-peck at his own side, then returned to the strutting around. and i surprised myself by instantly losing respect for the male pigeon in that moment, like come on man i appreciate you had an itch or whatever but how is she supposed to feel special when you're getting distracted by bullshit like that? which on reflection i don't endorse, i mean those are pretty harsh dating norms i'm imposing on these pigeons, from a total outsider perspective, for no reason. probably not all girl pigeons are as uptight about that sort of thing as i would apparently be if i was a girl pigeon, maybe she even found it endearing who knows, i don't know her. it's none of my business really. sorry pigeons.

i dont care if Monday's lit. Tuesday Wednesday touch my clit. Thursday i don't give a shit. it's Friday I'm in love

I feel like a horse with no name is probably the best song in the world. Not even my Favorite song just the best

[doesn't understand jacking off] and I'm supposed to... touch my penis? [shaking my head and smiling, murmuring to myself] touching my own penis... [chuckles] what will they come up with next

i know you're already typing "of course the cookie clicker guy would post that" but i really do have a fondness for exponential automation bootstrapping scenarios. one of my favorite old minecraft modpacks had stuff like solar panels and replicators. what you do is you painstakingly amass the components to create your first replicator (which involves rubber farms, ore quarries, processing lines, etc) and go to great lengths to power it through cranks you have to turn or coal you have to dig up. at some point you build your first solar panel. very slow energy output but it passively powers your replicator for free. what do you replicate? solar panels. you can then craft more efficient solar panels out of those solar panels. your energy output accelerates and so does your replication rate. eventually you're producing so much extra energy that you can justify plugging in a second replicator, and then a third, which you replicated for free. your replicators replicate replicators along with the solar panels that power them. for fun, you drop one diamond in the system and your entire chest network fills up almost immediately with thousands and thousands of diamonds. you will never run out of anything ever again. i don't think that modpack has replicators anymore

my balcony blocks my view of the playground, but I heard one child yell "I FOUND A FROG" with a great deal of excitement and now there is screaming, so I'm filling in some blanks

situational update: a little girl screamed "LEAVE HIM ALONE" and now there's noises that sound suspiciously like a child getting wailed on by a wiffle ball bat

further update: parent has been called to the scene. distribution of fault is underway. bat appears to have been confiscated.

bat has been returned under the promise of not deploying it once more against brothers. the pause and "but tell him to leave the frog alone" tells me it will likely come back into play shortly.

if you’re so heterosexual why’s your narrative foil a man

if you have a foil it's your narrative duty to fuck them

eda is 5 this year :)

eda is 6!!!!

Christian babies have so far not found a purpose or use outside of baseball