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let me be pervertly clear

seeing guys naked just never gets old

help I’m having ideas beyond my available free time

help I'm having ideas beyond my available energy levels

sometimes i'm like "I regret not having the college experience" then I come across a social media post like "my boyfriend still has the frat cooler a girl in college made him" and i'm now really grateful I was never in such a state of mind where I wanted to decorate a cooler for a guy in a fraternity. it's also possible I just have a lot of hate in my heart and wish suffering on more well adjusted individuals

went to a new optometrist today wearing my squid facts ‘save our freaks dont mine the deep’ shirt from @sarahmackattack that has a strawberry squid on it. and i wasn’t even thinking about it but the optometrist walked in and he was like ‘oh what does your shirt say’ so i showed him and he was like ‘oh that’s neat!’ and then i thought he might like to know about strawberry squid eyes since they have weird eyes and he is an optometrist and all. so i was like ‘yeah it’s actually a real kind of squid called a strawberry squid, their eyes are really cool because they have one big yellow-green one and one small blue one’ and he kind of gasped and went ‘oh my god that’s so interesting i wonder why they have that. do you know what their retina composition is like?’ and i watched as he minimized my chart on the computer and started looking up images of strawberry squid and then he googled ‘strawberry squid retina composition’ and he was like ‘sorry we’ll get to your eye exam in a moment i just really want to find out’ LMAO 10/10 optometrist experience will be returning

American woodcock (Scolopax minor)

something I really enjoy is that I've now seen like 4 or 5 variations of roughly this same video, all slightly different in their angles and timing while obviously being the exact same bunny and room, implying that this is a consistent and frequent behavior for this bunny instead of just a funny thing it did once that got caught on camera. I wish I could have as much raw unfiltered enthusiasm for anything as this little rabbit has for its dinnertime

me when im so sweet and beautiful monday

No one cared who I was until I put on the cage

making wetfood slop for the beasts and all three of them are weaving around my feet and desperately begging like “MOMMMM PLEASE GIVE US THAT WE LOVE THAT WE WANT IT PLEAAAAAAAAASE CAN WE HAVE IT” like. yeah guys i wasn’t planning on keeping it for myself i don’t think any of you have ever seen me decide to drink salmon pate soup out of your three individual cat bowls. but i guess you never know