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in pickle world they shot charlie gherkin

Idgaf what my dad thinks cuz he is a flop and i am a slay

[yelling at the club to someone i met ten minutes ago] do you think im a burden be honest

cake is such an underappreciated band. i can’t believe we brought back low rise flare jeans before we brought back cake in the top 40

i’m just saying cake’s music would be widely regarded as so sexy if it wasn’t for all the mariachi horns and vibraslap and the vocalist didn’t always sound like he was explaining his suicide plans to a gun store clerk in sacramento. the world wasn’t ready for them

The fact that it sounds like a dispassionate reading of a terrorist manifesto is a feature

studying history is like. here's to another beautiful day of not being pregnant and of having no obligation to ever be. thank you women who fight for abortion and contraception and independance from men for another beautiful day of not being pregnant and of having no obligation to ever be

Everyone envies me for my shrimp lighter

I’ve seen you people thirst after men I wouldn’t even feed to my creature

Man I miss free the nipple. Its getting warmer and we don’t even have free the nipple anymore

those days where your entire train of thought is just “I CAN’T FUCKING DO THIS I CAN’T DO THIS I’M NOT GONNA MAKE IT PLEASE HELP ME” and whole time ur just like. sitting at your desk completely fine

It drives me nuts when middle aged business owners come into my job telling me they're "not computer people" as if the personal computer hasn't been standard equipment in most businesses for almost half a century now

"I just never learned how to use it" what do you MEAN. There are pictures of offices from the mid 1980s (when you were probably younger than a teenager) FULL of early desktop computers, and you're telling me that not once did you ever figure out how to enter text into a field on a website in the 40+ years since? And you run a business?

Finding out that most small business owners are absolute fucking morons and then watching them make well over 6 figures a month while I struggle to feed myself has been one of the biggest humiliations I've ever had to endure

You actually cannot skip to being good at a creative endeavour that you haven't put much practice into. You cannot trick your way out of the 'knows that your work is not what you want it to be but don't know how to improve it' stage by planning or reading or talking about it really really hard. At some point you just have to craft through it until your brain finds it's own unique way back to the 'everything I make slaps' stage and be prepared to start the cycle all over again. You just have to make that project you're excited about slightly less good than you want it to be. (Says this standing in a pool of blood and covered in blood and also coughing up a little blood)

everyone stop reblogging this I hate to be reminded of my own good advice

anjefkjdjhff 

lol how they looked at each other when the song started like oh shit this our jam lolol

they are teenagers now