yeah no sorry i can’t come into work today cause my toe seams won’t line up in a way that doesn’t make me wanna peel my skin off
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@ketterdamloser
yeah no sorry i can’t come into work today cause my toe seams won’t line up in a way that doesn’t make me wanna peel my skin off

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printers behave like that because the medieval monks they put out of work are haunting them
if you comment some demanding shit like this on fanfic writers’ works, you don’t deserve the privilege of getting to read fanfiction for free
“Do it afraid” I do everything that way! I’d like to do it normal for once thanks!
You don't need AI to give you free therapy you need friends you can tell things your parent said to you and then see their horrified reaction that confirms that you were not crazy and that that was fucked up

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The Morales-Davis family watching the SuperBowl halftime show sketch and final piece:
friend is trying to sell her car bc shes moving to a state with vehicle inspections and her prius lives in defiance of god. anyway so shes cleaning it out at my apartment complex bc we have dumpsters and her roommate forgot to pay the trash bill. i will be liveblogging my experience watching her do this and you will understand why i refuse to help her
-threw out the floor mats entirely bc theres magic the gathering cards molded into them
-found an axe formely belonging to a friend who is now in jail
-four trash bags worth of clothes and an untold amount of fast food trash
guys theres a pile of chicken bones down there from wingstop im so scared
AND i hear "hey dude can i use ur washing machine real quick" and she pulls out a pair of pants from, i shit you not, 1940 and theyre moldified into a SOLID. those pants survived a war and couldnt last a year in her fucking shitbox istfg
shes cleaning out the Broken Glass Area of the backseat (normal thing to have. been there FOUR FUCKING YEARS)
fuckin blindly sticks her hand under the seat and pulls out a fully intact URANIUM GLASS PLATE. "for you :D" ... GIRL
"oh no i disturbed the nursery section of The Colony!!! D: D: " awesomesauce. i hope an asteroid comes and kills us both
i swear to god im not exaggerating here. anyway heres an incomplete list of everything we found inside:
-axe (stolen)
-earrings made out of dentures
-flavored condoms
-a quilt
-hello kitty sweater (stolen from a DIFFERENT ex-friend with a felony charge)
-deer spine
-baseball sized wad of human hair
-""sex apron""
-uranium glass plate
-pile of non-uranium non-car glass
-rollerblades
-complete phantom of the opera cd set
-magic the gathering cards mold-ified into a brick
-lego millennium falcon
-a CUTLASS??? (for "self defense")
-the back bumper of the car
-an entire fucking ant colony
and finally, perhaps the most disturbing,
-a pack of vanilla wax melts, inexplicably unmelted and intact despite sitting inside this terrarium-with-a-prius-wrapped-around-it in 100 degree heat for god knows how long
i must stress: before today she DID NOT KNOW about the ant colony in there . she thought ants just really liked to climb inside anytime the car was parked.
guys i cant take it anymore
bringing this post back bc i found a video of her offering me the phantom cd set and i said no because the box was coated in a syrupy mat of human hair and she was confused because "we know whos hair it is" ???? as if the origin of the hair was the only fucking holdup
@entities-of-posts
The Corruption
Reblogging this again actually because I just checked the notes and this only confirms the diagnosis
Valuable supplemental research.
Erica actively making Steve’s life hell when he’s doing his sex ed lesson while also ruining the day of any other student that gives him a hard time.
Erica will spend forty-five minutes stressing the fuck out of Steve in class and then find him during lunch block, call him pathetic for eating alone, and then force a Tupperware onto him like, “My mom made it for you because she thinks you’re too skinny.”
And Steve, who talks to Sue Sinclair on the semi-reg and knows that Erica has been making her own lunches, says, “Thanks.”
He gives Erica half his sandwich and she says, “Tina and Johnny broke up.”
“Again?!”
parker ellis my beloved
also LOVED Ellis pulling Mel aside to reassure her in a way that didn't cause excess stress. Mel has anxiously mentioned "not being able to talk about it" multiple times this season to multiple different people and Ellis went "okay well we're not talking about it you're listening to me monologue" just to make sure she was offering her reassurance that would affirm her own belief in Mel AND the fact that she and Mel did nothing wrong. that they did that spinal tap perfectly and the aftermath had nothing to do with the tap. god I love Dr. Parker Ellis

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I know we’re all like lawless nonconformists but you really can’t be texting and driving. that’s one of the ones you’ve gotta listen to for real
Y’all want complex female characters but can’t even handle her
never beating the siblings allegations
holding yourself accountable and tearing yourself down are two different things
Louder for the people in the back!
Also, holding others accountable and tearing others down are two different things.
"I'm sorry I hurt you" and "I'm sorry I'm such a terrible person, I don't deserve you" are two really different reactions.
For everyone wondering what the difference is: it's who you centre after the words "I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry I hurt you" centres the person you hurt and their feelings. It takes accountability for hurting them, and expresses remorse for having done so.
"I'm sorry I'm such a terrible person" centres yourself and your feelings. You are not expressing remorse. You are expressing shame, and shame is about how you feel. You are saying, in effect, that you regret how you hurt your own feelings, not how you hurt their feelings.
Whitaker and Santos’ apartment would have this

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The Pitt season 1: a summary