Old Enough To Know Better Young Enough To Enjoy It

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Armitage Hux/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren Characters: Armitage Hux, Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Enric Pryde Additional Tags: Voyeurism, Strip Tease, Forest Sex, Anal Sex, Masturbation, Psychological Horror, Ambiguous Horror, Mild Gore, Implied Murder, Animal Death, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Armitage Hux Has Issues, Modern AU, Rough Sex, Alcohol, Enric Pryde Being an Asshole, Minor Character Death, Mystery, Dreams and Nightmares, Supernatural Elements, Kylo Ren being chaotic, Armitage Hux Having A Breakdown, Moral Ambiguity Summary:

Drabbles and Porn Without Plot,

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No more shutdowns we're fighting,

Hey all.

So, I don’t normally do this, ‘cause, well, I just don’t, but sometimes, you’re out and about reading some glorious smutty fanfic (as you do) and the action is happily simmering along, things are getting slippery and then…

The thesaurus truck comes barreling into the damn thing, getting into a pile up with the I’ve-never-had-sex-before mini van, the-I-can’t-call-a-cock-a-cock roadster, and the useless-chapter-break-of-doom SUV.

So, let’s sit back, and chat a moment about writing fucking HOT sex. Panty-melting, oh my god, I’m going to hell just for reading this SEX. 

Lesson 1: You do not need to have done whatever the hell it is you are writing about to write it well. In addition to sex, I write shape-shifting dragon knights. Shockingly enough, not only have I not done more than half of the sex I write (not being physically equipped for it) I also don’t use magic to morph into dragons. Imagination can take you pretty much anywhere, but, just like with how to write a good flying scene, it’ll often need some help.

That said, everything in the universe is on Google, so RESEARCH. Which does not mean go read/watch a lot of porn. (It doesn’t mean don’t go do that, whatever floats your boat, just for research purposes, this isn’t where you want to go.) Look for people talking about real life experiences, pay attention.

Pictures are your friend. Again, you’re probably not looking for porn here, because a lot of porn is shot to look good, not feel good. So, if you’re looking at a reference picture, try to imagine if those poses would feel good. If you can’t imagine getting into that pose on your own and not hurting yourself, I can promise it won’t be fun with someone else.

(Pro Tip: Daz 3D, it’s free 3d rendering software. Why is this useful? Along with the software comes the base characters. They’re male and female and entirely pose-able. Want to see if that pose you want to do works? Model it. You’ll rapidly get a feel for things like, no one on earth has a dick long enough to make this happen/this dude has an anti-gravity charm or three arms, because this just isn’t possible with just two, and the like if you can see what you’re trying to describe.)

Lesson 2: Language choice. There’s a saying among writers, that if you’re not comfortable having your grandma read it, don’t write it, because you’ll muck it up. 

Nowhere is this more clear when what had been a happily churning along story turns into near-synonym salad as the author attempts to cover the fact that they’re blushing while they type with an onslaught of words that appear nowhere else in the story, and shouldn’t be here, either. 

There’s a place for flowery, synonym heavy poetic prose. There’s even a place for it in a sex scene, assuming the rest of the story is written that way. If, however, you had a good fifty pages of tight, fairly stream of thought writing, and suddenly, when your characters round second base the adverbs start creeping into every sentence and there’s all of these heavy words that do not mean what you think they do. (Seriously, put the thesaurus down. I can almost promise you that if you are looking for synonyms, you are not going to pick the one that works in the sentence you’re going to plop it into. Just use the original word. Trust me, it works better. Really. Yes, I can tell when you went and grabbed the thesaurus and looked up something you thought meant what your original word did. It’s close, but not right. If you want to use the thesaurus, use it when you’re not writing to build your vocabulary, so that when your writing your new words are the original ones you intended to put into the sentence. They’ll work MUCH better.) 

If you are uncomfortable with writing sex, stop. Fade to black. There is nothing wrong with NOT writing smut. You do not have to churn out slippery friction if it makes you uncomfortable, and if you can’t call a dick a dick (or whatever it is your character would call it) then put the keyboard down, back away, go do something else, and fade to black.

(Bonus tip: no man in the history of maleness has ever called his cum essence, if you are writing a male pov, take the time to figure out what your boy calls his jizz, and then use that, or write around it. No one has ever read, “And with a last, hard thrust Bob pulsed into Sally, shuddering in bliss,” and thought, “I wonder if he actually got off? No essence in that sentence.”)

Lesson Three: Oh hell no! Not there! No fading to black THERE!

Readus-Interruptus.

Okay, this is the exception to rule two. Do not write half of a sex scene, get your readers hot and bothered, and then just stop.

And if you write half of a sex scene, and then stop in the middle of it, giving your readers terminal blue balls, and then start the fucker over again right where you left off in the “next chapter…”

No, just NO!  Do NOT DO THAT!

Chapters 101. You are not done the chapter until you have wrapped up whatever plot point you were working on is. 

Let’s back up further. Stories 101: Your story has an overarching plot line. Each chapter is supposed to be a unit of story that deals with one bit of said line, pushing the greater arc forward. Chapters break when whatever that unit is, is done.

So, if you’re characters are happily fucking away, and then the chapter just stops, you are killing your story.

Now, if you’ve got an interruption, a cock block, if one character finishes whatever the hell it was they were trying to do (character A climaxes, chapter ends, next chapter starts mid-coitus with character B’s POV,), there’s some emotional arc that wraps up mid-fuck, whatever. That’s fine. Go for it. Tension is your friend, build that fucker up.

But each chapter should have a climax that wraps that little bit of plot up, and if you are writing a sex scene, well the climax should be pretty obvious, and that’s when everyone is slippery and glowing.

Lesson Four: If lube is sticky, put the damn stuff down, and use spit. Sticky is the exact opposite of what lube is supposed to be, and at this point I’ve seen four separate fics describe it as sticky. BY ALL THAT IS GOOD AND HOLY DO NOT USE STICKY LUBE!!! You will get hurt if you use sticky lube. 

umm whatever, i watched "the patient" and it was sooo good if you haven't watched it yet i highly recommend

it was nice to start watching the series for a single actor and realize that this is an interesting project in general

That's exactly how the Force works, you can't change my mind —

Force-twins AU