Adelaide Kane

“I hate that you’re hurting over him and I know I fucked up by not believing you when you told me you were faithful. That’s something that I’ve lived with all these years. I will never stop loving you, Adelaide, it’s just not something that’s possible. And I wish there was something I could do to make you feel better because fuck.. I love you..”

“I knew what I had, I never would have left you for anyone. I know I’m not with him anymore..and maybe that’s the reason I’m so okay with telling you this now, but I never wanted you to let me go. I would of gone down fighting for you, Adam. We wouldn’t of had to go through years of pain. I never will stop loving you either.” She spoke as she let her lips linger against his for a while. Knowing that for the first time in years, she felt like she was right where she belonged. “I love you too, Adam.”

“Do you not remember who started flirting? All I did was go along with everything you were saying to me. And yeah I did want to steal you away from him. I told you that it took me years to be okay, I never said that I was over you. I never got over you! I- you don’t write songs about someone you’re over. I just became okay with the fact that we weren’t together anymore and that you moved on. I forced myself to accept that we weren’t going to be together, I never forced myself to get over you. There’s just some shit that you can’t get over, and things that I will never be over and that’s you. So, the next time you decide to say that it doesn’t matter when you bring this up, remember that this is the exact reason that I didn’t want to talk about it. I knew that it would all come flooding out again and there would be nothing I could do to put a lid on it”

“I might of been lying to myself when I told you I could be just friends with you. I love Sebastian..but I’ve always been head over heels for you. I think that was obvious with our night together at that bar. The innuendos we both sent each others way. You’re the only person of the face of this earth that could have taken me away from him. I mean you were my fiance..I didn’t want that to end. We wouldn’t of ended if you would have just believed me when I told you I wasn’t cheating on you. I wouldn’t be hurt over Sebastian, I wouldn’t be wondering why he didn’t want to put forth the effort in our dates or even our relationship..I could have been married to you a long ass time ago.”

“Don’t start that shit Adelaide. You know how that ‘it doesn’t matter’ shit bugs the life out of me. If you have something to say than just say it, don’t, don’t beat around the bush because you’re afraid of hurting my feeling or making me feel some kind of way. I’d rather feel some type of way than be frustrated at you for saying it doesn’t matter.”

“You made me feel like it doesn’t matter. You literally just told me how you spent years getting over what happened between us, yet just yesterday you were flirting with me. You wanted to all but steal me away from Sebastian. So you doing a complete 180 threw me off. It shouldn’t matter though..it doesn’t matter...That’s obviously in the past.”

“Can we just not talk about it right now? You have absolutely no idea how hard it was for me to even get to the point where I could talk to you without crying. I just wanted- No! See, you’re gonna get me talking about it all and I’m going to start crying so I’m gonna pass.”

“If you don’t want to talk about it, then I’ll respect your choices. I just figured since you..it doesn’t matter. Consider it forgotten. How about we just talk about something else, because I feel like I’m going to end up falling apart if I stop talking and just be alone with my thoughts.”

“I still struggle from time to time. It’s not something that I really sit down and talk about, or really think about. The more I think about it the harder it is to really keep moving forward, but I’m alive, I’m well. I didn’t die.. no matter how much I felt like I was going to.”

“I’m really sorry for how I treated you. It might be to late to fix things between Sebastian and I, but at least I have the chance to repair our relationship. Our friendship. I suppose my flirtatious nature has gotten me in a lot more trouble than I care to admit. You were always a wonderful fiance. I just want you to know that.”

“It may be a break from your own head, which I agree is a good thing, but it also takes me back to a very shitty time in my life and it took me a very long time to get to a point where I could even pretend that I was okay.”

“Which is something I really don’t want to do. I don’t want to be the reason I cause you any amount of pain. That’s not something you deserve. Are you okay though? Now? Or do you still struggle?”

“We’re not talking about me though, we’re talking about you and him. Only you know the answer to that Addie.. If I could tell you I would, but here we are.“

“Maybe I’d rather talk about you though. Maybe I’d rather focus on what you’ve always handed me on a silver platter, because that I can understand. That I’ve never had to question. It’s a break from my own head.”

“I know you did. You can’t keep sitting around asking yourself what you did wrong. You can’t make yourself take all the blame.. it will drive you absolutely nuts, trust me, been there done that. Did you fail him? Or did he fail you? Really think about that.. because if he loved you the way he made it seem like he did then he would have fought like hell to keep you.”

“You’re the king of fighting like hell to keep me. I mean let’s be real for a moment. You all but stalked me. Half, if not all of your songs have been about me. About how you wondered if Sebastian was better than you when it came to loving me. Being with me. You’re right though--I need to stop holding onto this pain. I need to move on, but how do I do that when I’m still so desperately in love with him?“

“It’s not your fault that he questioned everything. No matter who you were or weren’t flirting with he never should have questioned that he was all you wanted to be with. If there’s faith in the relationship than there’s not much that you have to worry about. Trust, is the key. Just because he got insecure doesn’t mean that you have to walk around blaming yourself.”

“I really did love Sebastian..I just wish it didn’t feel like I was the only one trying after a while. I’m not sure if I did something wrong or not, but I didn’t want this to be the outcome for us. I just feel like I failed him, you know?”

“Addie, would you just stop for two seconds. Listen to me. I know it hurts, trust me, I’ve been there before, but nothing is going to make you feel better right now especially avoiding it all, you know that.”

“I just feel so badly about it all. How could I ever let him question that I wanted anyone other than him? I know you and I have a long history..to long if you ask me, but I never should of let him doubt the way I felt. I hurt him..I know I did. All because I couldn’t help myself from flirting with you. What does that really say about me?”

have you ever had korean snacks? they are the superior snacks. i got these onion rings the other day and i ate the biggest bag of them in one day. it was a problem. im hooked.

Okay but I really only have one question. Where did you get them? And how do I get my hands on them? I haven’t been to Korea in such a long time, and America just doesn’t do snacks the right way. Like seriously...take notes.

To be fair..I didn’t think you would actually eat it. 

This is me we’re talking about though. Tell me to go cliff jumping, and I’ll go running. I should of made you go with me honestly.

“I did miss you, I’ve already told you that a million times. Look, I told you that you don’t have to keep up with me. Just because I smoke one moment doesn’t mean that you have to as well, we both know I smoke way too much weed. Your legs will work as soon as you stop smoking.”

“I know but it’s still nice to hear. I know I didn’t have to try and keep up with you, but I feel more relaxed than I have in a long time. I didn’t plan on smoking this much, but one thing led to another and now..well here I am. You’re pretty...have I ever told you that before? Like how is that legal?