When a dude from your hometown who still believes in the friend zone and thinks Olive Garden's fancy tries to throw down politics with a law student. 😂
🩵 avery cochrane 🩵
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@katsfam
When a dude from your hometown who still believes in the friend zone and thinks Olive Garden's fancy tries to throw down politics with a law student. 😂

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2 0 1 6 (insp.)
This year was wild af wow
Pretty sure this is the sequel to ‘we didn’t start the fire’
Procrastinating all semester
Now I’m like
THE LEGENDARY STORY OF THE TROJAN HORSE DOES NOT INVOLVE THE GREEKS GIVING THE HORSE TO THE TROJANS AS A GIFT. THE GREEKS’ DECEPTION WAS ACTUALLY THAT THEY LEFT THE HORSE AS AN OFFERING TO THE GODDESS ATHENA.
IN THE LEGEND, THEY BASICALLY SENT SOMEONE TO TROY TO SAY “THIS HORSE IS FOR ATHENA, NOT YOU, SO OUR RETREAT BACK TO GREECE IS SAFE. DON’T TRY TO TAKE IT. IT WON’T FIT THROUGH THE GATES OF YOUR CITY, SO THERE’S NO WAY YOU DICKS CAN STEAL IT AND PRETEND YOU GOT IT FOR ATHENA. NOT FOR TROJANS.”
AND THEN TROY WAS LIKE “YOU’RE NOT OUR DAD. WE WON THIS WAR AND WE’RE TAKING YOUR STUPID HORSE AS A TROPHY SO WE’LL ALWAYS REMEMBER HOW BAD GREECE IS AT DESTROYING TROY.”
AND A FEW TROJANS WERE LIKE “THIS IS A TRICK” AND TRIED TO EXPOSE IT AS A TRICK BUT THE REST OF THE TROJANS WOULD HAVE NONE OF IT BECAUSE EVERYONE WAS SWEPT UP IN THE THRILL OF VICTORY, AND ALSO BECAUSE THE GODS KEPT SENDING SNAKES TO STRANGLE ANYONE WHO SAID ANYTHING, BECAUSE THE GREEK GODS HAD NO WORD FOR “SUBTLETY”
THEN AT NIGHT ALL THE GREEKS JUMPED OUT OF THE HORSE LIKE “WE TOLD YOU NOT TO TAKE THE HORSE, WHY ARE YOU SUCH PRIDEFUL DICKS” AND BURNED DOWN THE WHOLE CITY
This makes a lot more sense

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He got the girl fired. This washed up honky raised hell over being called white and cost somebody their job.
That’s why he lost.
This Has To Be The Greatest Idea Ever
As You Have Forsaken Jeb, So You Have Forsaken Me: My Curse Shall Lie Upon This Nation for Seven Times Seven Generations by Barbara Bush
i reblogged this post as a joke months ago and had a good laugh but sitting here tonight i’m pretty sure it’s legit.
i beg you to stop scrolling and share this and if you’re available to donate pls do it
don’t ignore the black transgender community living in third world countries
#an appropriate reaction to history

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if you say anything even remotely resembling a lyric from a musical, i will take that as an invitation to perform the entire musical for you. youre welcome.
you: sweater weather me, an intellectual: seasonal depression
I’m screeching

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The more things change… 1976 | 2017
I cant believe this actually happened
share the toolman and the next 20 seconds of your life will be pretty decent
ngl it worked
damn that’s some fast service
i shared in 21 seconds and he fucking killed me with that hammer