Wouldst Thou Like To Live Deliciously?

when I see something dated 2019 I think “oh that’s not too long ago” and then I remember that 2019 was not only five years ago but those five years have somehow contained several lifetimes

Don’t kill yourself you cannot let johnny depp outlive you

i am just, a horrid little beast and i am, going to cause a ruckus

oh suddenly this is not a safe space anymore

So we can already guess Harris is gonna replace Joe but who’s replacing her? Buttigieg?

Me probably. Waiting for the call now

What are your policy platforms?

I think ugly men shouldn't be allowed to date beautiful women ESPECIALLY when their personality doesn't make up for their face!

seeing americans post about their election with such disregard and apathy is going to give me an aneurysm actually girl just give that vote to me then i'll do it. since you're so fucking complicated

americans be like aughhh its impossible to choose between the convicted felon and the woman

“no one for president” you sound like such a fucking cringe edgelord and unless u plan on staging a massive revolution in a country of 300 million spanning 3.8 million square miles and overthrowing the government before November I would suggest voting for the candidate who DOESNT cater to white supremacy subcultures, getting involved in local community services & initiatives, donating to causes, or campaigning/protesting instead of this performative mock activism

my beautiful wife, severe thunderstorm warning, is texting me 😌😚😍😍

my beautiful wife, severe thunderstorm warning, is texting me 😌😚😍😍

IS MOON DAY!!! MOOOOON DAY!!!! THE DAY OF MOOOOON! HAPPY MOON DAY 🌝 (we landed on the moon today in 1969)