Deity Of Disaster

Grace is one of the most classic things to fall from

That and the monkey barrrsssss

I am a WHORE for “the love is requited, they’re both just idiots”

whenever i'm trying to talk myself out of buying something i don't need i always hear my old russian professor's voice echoing in my head: "WHAT??? WILL YOU DIE THE RICHEST MAN IN THE GRAVEYARD?" and then i make an unwise financial decision

science has always been political. what gets studied. what doesnt. who gets to do the studying. on and on and on.

your muscles being pleasantly sore after exercise is such a nice incentive I can see why they patched that in. the forced regular logins to avoid losing progress however are a predatory practice and deserve nothing but scorn.

Babysitting a toddler is a lot like being the narration in a point-and-click adventure game. Watching him knock on the doors of empty rooms and saying "hmm. I don't think anyone's in there". Watching him attempt to use [spoon] on [cat] and saying "I don't think those things go together". Watching him throw a cup of water onto the floor and just commenting "the floor is wet now" when he looks up at me to see if I approve.

you have to withstand it bro. you have to endure it patiently

This is a worm? Or perhaps some sort of slug?

And it's gonna getcha

scientists are trying to discover something harder than getting out of bed to go to work in the morning. and dont make a fucking penis joke ok they already checked everyone’s dick and it doesn’t even come close

big shout out to tumblr for being the first major site in like two years to implement an ill-advised "feature" nobody wants, likes or respects that doesn't involve AI

I used to be a human then i was godlike and perfect for a while and then I got tired and now im an beast. you know how it is