Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

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styofa doing anything
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overheard a customer say "i'm ready for a divorce at this point" when I was bored at work and my eyes lit up like I won the lottery
The Habit and the Hart
Chapter 1: The Rules
Sneak Peek:
“Whatcha doin’ Whiskey,” he said, warning and delight shifting through his tone all at once.
And then Lily only smiled and bent to kiss him without another word. It was not long, not really, but it was pointed. Lily delivered the kiss with purpose, a flair of her tongue, and absolutely no respect for James’s roommates and their supposed delicate constitutions.
Sirius retched loudly from the end of the bed. “Disgusting!”
Without breaking the kiss, Lily lifted one hand behind her and flicked two fingers at him. James burst out laughing against her mouth, ruining the whole thing spectacularly.
Lily pulled back just enough to glare at James. “You were meant to keep snogging me until he got grossed out enough to leave.”
“I’m sorry,” he said, still laughing. “You should’ve seen the look on his face.”
“Why would I want to look at his face,” Lily teased, dipping her chin toward James with a wicked little smile, “when yours is so cute?”
Then, because apparently she had no sense of self-preservation whatsoever, she wiggled her hips.
James’s hands flew to her waist at once. “Evans,” he said, voice strained in a way that made Sirius gag loudly and kick at them both, “you are going to get us both kicked out of the room.”
Lily only looked more pleased with herself. She was perched on top of him like she had every right in the world to be there, knees bracketing his hips, hair falling loose around her shoulders, cheeks pink from mischief. The morning light made her look soft and gold-edged and entirely too lovely for the situation, which was, in James’s opinion, grossly unfair.
Especially given that his mates were still in the room.
“Right,” James barked, tightening his grip on Lily’s waist to keep her still. “All of you. Get the fuck out.”
“Me too?” Lily asked innocently.
“Not you,” he demanded, squeezing her hips. “Definintly not you.”
Sirius, who had been sitting on the bed with one hand clamped over his eyes as if he were witnessing an unforgivable curse, lowered his fingers just enough to glare. “This is our dormitory, emphasis on ours. If anyone’s leaving, it’s you two.”
“I need to have a chat with my girlfriend.”
“You mean you need to swap tongues with your girlfriend.” Sirius deduced, “You can do that later, far away from the rest of us.”
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A large part of the reason families were bigger in the past was because marital rape was not considered rape and birth control/abortion methods were ineffective, dangerous and/or illegal. We can dance around this and act like our great great great grandmothers just loveddddd being mamas so much that they decided out of their own free will to have 11 children. We can pretend that they DECIDED to have big families because it was a financially advantageous decision so they could have more labor around the farm. But a lot of children in the past were fundamentally unwanted and not conceived out of love, children were not a choice women got to make. We need to admit that and stop pretending historical women were inherently more maternal because they were impregnated at the age of 15 and kept having babies until they were 40. That did not make them loving mothers, it did not make them ‘the divine feminine’ and it sure did not make them happy.
don't fall in love with me cuz i'll treat you right & you'll get bored & cheat on me

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oh to fall asleep in someones lap with them stroking my hair 🥺
Can we go back to sending love letters
a few kisses on my face and a back massage might just solve all this
i would like to reiterate: a few gentle kisses on my face and a back massage might just solve all this.
I'll take what she's having pls
What the fuck does a girl gotta do for some whimsy
auto immune disorders happen when the immune system ignores regulatory factors and begins attacking healthy bodily tissues, due to what scientists refer to as "sheer love of the game"

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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this fetish stuff is getting out of hand what the fuck is word play
*introducing myself to the guards who caught me* seized to meet you
your number one priority should be your tumblr mutual. your second priority nothing. there is nothing else
The first rule of fandom is have fun. The second rule of fandom is find an enabler and become an enabler. Yes you should write that fic. What if it was even hornier? What if it was angstier? What if you wrote it just for me?
I think making character playlists is good for you and connected to analysis skills in a very fun way and low investment way. I know its seen as quite trivial but to me it operates the same way looking at a lot of art builds ur skills passively. Yummy enrichment activity

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@rissa-explains-it-all HE LOOKS UP GRINNING LIKE A DEVIL 😈
the thirteen just made the yielding and i am WAILING, bawling my eyes out 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Woof I’m so sorry for your pain, I had to leave the book for a while 😭😭😭