Judas Wasn't That Bad

*covered in blood* I'm literally fine guys. im still funny. Would you like to hear a joke Im going to tell you a joke

You get there and all the pretty boys look up from drinking from the reservoir and gallop away like gazelle

I hate when I drink all of my drink and there's no drink left. What the fuckkkkkkk. #sickandtwisted

"Employment" big scam. Big scam to distract You from what matters,posting on Ur tumblr blog at 3am

westley in the princess bride was so funny for being like ‘talk about this dead guy you loved lol’ and getting the tea about himself

oh he was ur true love? you thought he was hot n strong? rate him 1-10 and why

the role of the person in the passenger seat is not only navigator but secretary as well. you have to type up the drivers messages to random ladies on facebook about cbd cream & google whether that billy joel song was the theme song for that show or not

you also have to provide a henchmans disdainful scowl at whoever the driver is flipping off in the target parking lot

You should never forget the Tommy Gun

I don't want to buy mass-produced garbage from a big box store so I go to etsy but half of etsy is now dropshipped mass-produced garbage or AI slop so I go to the local arts and crafts street market but a ton of those booths are also selling the same generic plastic objects or identical stickers or 3D printed dragons so WHERE do I buy real trinkets and art from sincere freaks

...Join star fleet they said...It'll be an adventure they said...

most euthanizable mutuals of 2026

i literally love saying "ON IT BOSS!!!!!" whenever someone asks me to do something like i'm some sort of henchman. it doesn't matter if they're my boss or not for real even because in the moment they are, and whatever they requested of me i'm on it

(no beers in) So how do you perceive me in the privacy of your thoughts