strong, nimble, elegant.

if i'm being honest i struggle a little bit more to equate alex to christian but with the power of my character shaped hammer i'll make it happen. to be honest i wasn't initially even trying to galex it. i was actually initially just thinking about the movie on its own and how awesome and beautiful it would be if christian was a butch lesbian. but if i AM going to f1 rpf it and george is going to be satine then truly who else could be my christian. so i guess it could be het galex but also. yurifying it makes the plot twice as compelling to me and its my mind palace so here we are.

we have different options from here. the obvious choice is to make toto our harold zidler which is a very compelling option to me because of the boss-father-husband aspect of it all. despite the comic/affectionate front he puts up re: satine zidler is a deeply sinister character. manipulating and lying to her to get what he needs and wants out of any situation and telling her the whole time that it's for her own good.("all my life, you've had me believe i was only worth what someone would pay for me!" and then he immediately tells her she's dying. and he kept that fact from her on purpose because he needed her and up until that moment he needed her to believe she still had time. SICK)

but also i can't imagine toto having the ability to yes-and the way that zidler does. but also this is a crazy ass ridiculous campy musical so its not like i can see george russell belting diamonds are a girl's best friend either. lets all hold hands and pretend

HOWEVER we could also if we wanted to consider the claire williams of it all..........claire who needs george to save the team/to save the moulin rouge....who does truly love and care about her but also has her own priorities that have to be met and if she has to use george to do so then she will.....

this puts toto in the role of the duke and while again i think the duke is much too ridiculous a character for the comparison to work fully. i'm compelled by it nevertheless. insert toto quote george was "tainted" by williams next to the duke/zidler "like a virgin" scene. there's something there i swear

ANYWAYYYYY the galex of it all. things follow the plot of the movie here so george/satine mistakes alex/christian for the duke and alex has no idea what's going on but is in love with her immediately obviously. they go up into the elephant room and miscommunication galore. alex is just trying to perform her poetry for george so george will take her on as the writer for spectacular spectacular. and george thinks they're about to have sex so alex will invest in the moulin rouge/spectacular spectacular. when she tells alex she has a big dick and then promptly reaches down and realizes she doesn't of course she rolls with it. not an issue for her either way, as long as alex is going to invest in the show (which of course she can't on account of not being the duke in the first place.) at the end of the scene the dialogue is essentially the same:

"i'm in love with a young, handsome, talented duke"

"i'm not a duke."

now george is like "well, okay, a duchess then, that's alright."

alex still oblivious: "no, i'm a writer"

CUE george crashout because she realizes alex is NOT in fact the duke she was supposed to be wooing. the ACTUAL duke arrives and they have to hide alex in the room etc etc.

THEN in the middle of all this formulating in my mind the galex plane pictures dropped and i was thinking about alex doing stupid corny shit just to make george smile and then i rewatched the movie again and that was all i could think about during this scene specifically.

george having the race weekend from hell and alex coming off his best of the season going “all you need is love 😁 life is so beautiful 💖 have some flowers 💐” i will admit that this is kind of a scenario where im using my character shaped hammer to fit a square peg in a round hole or however it goes. but that is my right

she falls in love with alex against her better judgement of course but she is also dedicated to her future and her career and to zidler and those things can't really coexist now can they.

ALSO the part towards the end when the duke is like "well why shouldn't she stay with the maharajah?" and alex/christian blurting out "BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T LOVE YOU-....him. she doesn't love him" load bearing pronoun usage in a gay reimagining. really really delicious to me. george going to the duke to save face. alex asking her not to go. "you promised me you wouldn't be jealous"

getting to el tango de roxanne and i think the duke HAS to be toto sorry. alex's lines "his eyes upon your face; his hand upon your hand; his lips caress your skin; it's more than i can stand" horrible and exactly how i imagine the alex/toto dynamic anyway :)

to be honest this is about as far as my imagination has taken me at this point but like. they finally decide to run away + the duke/toto threatens to kill alex + george agrees to stay in order to save her. ("come on georgie, you silly girl; you can't afford to love. the show must go on" (claire williams as zidler again....the show must go on....))

her going to tell alex that it's over, that "the duke offered me everything i've ever dreamed of" and alex KNOWING that there's something wrong but george told her none of it mattered...that it wasn't enough and it's all of her worst fears being verbalized so what is she supposed to do except let her go.

i was going to try and go all the way through the end but it would just be me describing the end of the movie because i don't have any galex-specific thoughts about it except that i love when ppl make alex act mean in fic and lowkey christian's crash out backstage/onstage at the show,,,,well EYE enjoy reimagining it as heartbroken angry bitter lesbian alex "i owe you nothing and you are nothing to me. thank you for curing me of my ridiculous obsession with love". my poor beloved i need to give her a hug