Still a hopeless romantic after all this time. Very insane of me.
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
will byers stan first human second


titsay
Three Goblin Art
Peter Solarz

izzy's playlists!
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Jules of Nature
we're not kids anymore.
Cosimo Galluzzi
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

Kiana Khansmith
🪼
Mike Driver


seen from Saudi Arabia
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@kaleighkarma
Still a hopeless romantic after all this time. Very insane of me.

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we all know adult humans dont get enough enrichment but the other day i was walkin home past an empty playground and impulsively ran over to spin myself on this zipline merry-go-round contraption for a few minutes and it really did feel like it unlocked some neglected part of my brain. like damn we really should all go outside and play more. fuck. they werent kidding with this play time thing. have you guys heard about play time. it could be huge.
your mom is a baked potato your dad's dumb ass is asparagus and you are a god damn green bean
Jobs are evil
not my circus not my monkeys but thanks to my mutuals i know some of the lore

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how do you feel about your hometown
love it/never wanna leave (still live there)
mid/whatever (still live there)
hate it (still live there)
love it/miss it (don't live there)
mid/whatever (don't live there)
hate it/good riddance (don't live there)
im bald
saw a post that made me wonder this. please tag with your thoughts im curious!!
One of the guys I worked with told us a story about how, when they were doing archaeology surveys in the woods they ran into a bigfoot hunter. Bigfoot guy asked if they had seen signs of bigfoot, and he was like "Sorry, nothing like that. We're archaeologists, so we're looking for human stuff." and the bigfoot guy was like "Oh! I saw some Native American cairns on my way out here. I can give you a general location." and when he was like "Yeah dude, that'd be sick. We're actually looking to document those." the bigfoot guy was like "Yeah, they looked pretty cool. I didn't touch them though, because Native Americans built them, not bigfoot."
the kids are calling them "stone fruits." they start off small—think cherries. then they're hooked and they need a quick fix, they get peaches, maybe some nectarines. it's all they can think about. before you know it, they're trying the really hard stuff—apricots, plums. once they taste a mango there's no going back.
they should invent putting on sunscreen that doesn't feel like putting on sunscreen
[id. A twitter post by @/Bennieeexyz Jury duty letter came addressed to my cat. Not a mistake. "Felix Martinez" - that's his full name according to his vet records. My last name. His first name. Somehow he's a registered voter now. Called the county clerk. Me: My cat got summoned for jury duty. Clerk: Is the name correct on the summons? Me: Yes, but he's a cat. Clerk: Is Felix Martinez a legal resident of this county? Me: He's a legal cat. Clerk: Sir, if the name matches our records, he needs to appear or file an exemption. Me: He can't file anything. He has paws. Clerk: You can file on his behalf. Me: Under what exemption? There's no box for "is a cat." Clerk: (pause) Check "unable to serve due to medical reasons." Me: What's the medical reason? Clerk: He's a cat. Me: That's not a medical condition. Clerk: It is if it prevents him from serving. Sent in the form. Got rejected two weeks later. "Insufficient documentation. Please provide medical professional's statement." Took the letter to my vet. Me: I need you to write that my cat can't do jury duty. Vet: Why is your cat summoned for jury duty? Me: Excellent question. No good answer. Vet: This is the weirdest request I've gotten. Me: Can you just write that he's medically unfit to serve? Vet: On what grounds? Me: He's a cat. Vet: (started typing) "Patient is unable to serve due to species-related limitations including inability to speak, read, or comprehend legal proceedings." Me: Perfect. Sent it in. Got another rejection. "Summons is mandatory. Failure to appear will result in contempt of court." My roommate thought this was hilarious. Roommate: Felix is going to jail. Me: This is serious. Roommate: Bring him to court. See what happens. Decided that was actually the only option left. Day of jury duty, put Felix in his carrier. Brought the entire paper trail of rejection letters. Checked in at the courthouse. Clerk: Name? Me: Felix Martinez. Clerk: (looked at the cat carrier) Is that Felix? Me: Yes. Clerk: (long stare) He's a cat. Me: I've been saying that for six weeks. Clerk: Why didn't you file an exemption? Me: I filed three. All rejected. Showed her the letters. She read through them, expression shifting from confusion to disbelief. Clerk: Someone rejected the veterinary documentation? Me: Twice. Clerk: (called her supervisor over) You need to see this. Supervisor read everything. Looked at Felix. Looked at me. Supervisor: How did a cat get registered to vote? Me: You tell me. Supervisor: This is a data error. Me: Took you six weeks to figure that out. They dismissed Felix immediately. Apologized for the inconvenience. Supervisor: We'll remove him from the voter registry. Me: Appreciate it. Supervisor: (pause) Out of curiosity, how would he have voted? Me: Probably whatever party supports universal treats. Got a formal apology letter a week later and a voter registration card. For me this time. Apparently I wasn't registered, but my cat was. Roommate: Felix committed voter fraud. Me: Felix committed nothing. He's innocent. Roommate: That's what they all say. Felix is sleeping on the jury summons now. Fitting end to his legal career. end id]

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seeing a lot of posts about fandom being an avenue to improve your craft and etc which is true but also you dont have to polish your work ever. no one NEEDS a beta. you dont even have to edit. you can just make stuff and its already worth sharing just because you made it.
was at the corner store getting a few snacks and a 7 year old with a single packet of two poptarts struck up a conversation with me while I was choosing between Chex mix flavors. weighed in on the flavors. They continued to follow me through the store all the way to checkout and stood there talking to me at the register so the cashier thought they were my kid and I finally said “are you possibly hoping for someone to buy those poptarts” and they pulled out a WAD of cash and said “nope just talking to ya.”
absolutely enchanting child no notes
energy of an 85 year old who got freaky friday’d tbh
my camel straight up told me "man i am not carrying another fucking straw" like wtf asshole its just one straw whats your fucking issue
would you still love me if i was a small iridescent freshwater fish
11 year old border collie: gets a special shot for his chronic back pain this morning
2pm: "where's the dog he can't possibly have jumped over the fence"
3pm: "hi i live in [another village]! I got your dog here, if you can come fetch him?"
"well at least that new medication is working 💀"

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"Whimsy" is truly a wretched term. What maketh thee so carefree?
thy mother
Art thou for fucking real
man sometimes friendship really is just "I saw this and knew it would give you psychic damage. please respond with agony" and then they do. and it's great