bitch

oh SHOOT well i cant swing 100 but how bout

My best friend does not like my gerbils at all. She jokingly calls them vermin and teases me for being the only 25 year old woman that still has pet gerbils. She came to visit me one weekend when one of my sweet babies was really sick, and unfortunately called me at work to solemnly let me know my gerbil had passed. The entire drive home I was trying not to cry because we had plans and I didn’t want to ruin the weekend with my ridiculous grief over a rodent. When I got home, my best friend was sitting in the driveway, hand painting a little coffin with my gerbil’s name on it. I immediately started sobbing. She went and got me a glass of wine, and played a Stevie Nicks song on her phone while she dug a grave. After the somber funeral in my backyard, she cancelled our evening plans and we walked to a bar, where my best friend completely un-ironically held up a glass and toasted my dead gerbil, thanking her for the joy she’d brought me.

Okay so you know how in Beauty in the Beast…

This lady can’t afford six eggs, which always struck me as a little odd but I figured maybe that was normal in a poor French village. I mean, look at all the little kids she has; she probably struggles to afford any kind of food that would feed all of them… Right?

But later we discover something interesting about Gaston:

Gaston eats five dozen eggs every day. That’s 60 eggs. SIXTY. Which adds up to 420 eggs per week. No wonder this poor village doesn’t have enough of them to go around!

Gaston, who is very well-respected and successful and probably makes good money from his fabulous hunting skills, is cornering the entire egg market. To feed his addiction, he probably has to constantly go around and buy out every farmer’s supply of eggs, which causes the price on any remaining eggs to skyrocket.

Gaston is singlehandedly destroying the town’s economy.

SECRET 

FREAKIN’

ROOMS

LIKE

PEOPLE

BUILD ROOMS

WITHIN ROOMS

BUT THEY AREN’T LIMITED TO INSIDE THE HOME

THAT’S RIGHT

THERE ARE SECRET ROOMS FOR CARS

HONESTLY THOUGH

YOU EITHER LIKE SECRET ROOMS