a very common thing i see posited is the idea that historically, fathers could not both love their daughters and see them as their personal property to dispose of as they saw fit, and i think it comes from this difficulty people have in understanding that a parent can be affectionate and loving in many ways, but also put their own desires before that of their child/have misogynistic views about women's roles in society.
i also think it's very common for modern day commentators to overlook the fact that many men who genuinely loved their wives also pressured their wives to keep having children until they died or were physically disabled by it.
I think you’re confusing caring for someone as loving someone. You cannot love someone you don’t respect and someone you abuse. You don’t respect someone you see as property and therefore cannot love them. You can care for them, but not love. I think that All About Love by Bell Hooks would be a great, healing, and transformative read for a lot of people reblogging this.
