What The Hap Is Fuckening?

I love how Resident Evil men have like one dumb catch phrase after another while the Resident Evil women are like FOR FUCKS SAKE CANT YOU JUST FUCKING DIE ILL KILL YOU MOTHERFUCKER and i think thats beautiful

“did the journal factory burn down” is funny but doesn’t reflect my true views which are i love to follow people who overshare every moment of their day

the issue with growing up in the 2000s and 2010s was like there was this really big push toward "accepting your weirdness" overall but they meant like idk wearing mismatched socks or something not being tangibly beyond the norm in any way shape or form

the polite and considerate sadist

I can fix him [drill sound] [screaming] [chainsaw revving]

dude honestly shout out to my guards i told them to seize this guy and before i could even finish my sentence they soze him. My goats

Welcome to my escape room. *places an affectionate cat on your lap*

whoever wrote this paper has the funniest phrasing possible

happy turtle bit off a cop’s toe in the hudson river day for those who celebrate

notice how everyones 30 now

it doesn't matter to cats what kind of bad week you're going through, they'll come into your room and start doing repeated bulldozer attacks on you