What The Hap Is Fuckening?

Princess pouring wax on her knight's chest and putting her seal on the still hot wax. She's telling them how good they're doing and how nice her seal looks on their chest. The knight is just so happy to be here. Just so happy to be hers.

i am your naked 30yo mutual and that counts for something

i lied. put your clothes back off, I do actually like sex

but i stay silly! *←said in the most world-weary voice you ever did hear*

Reblog you stay silly

maternity shirt that says "IM SMOKING FOR 2"

Getting dumped really puts children's cartoon villains into perspective. Like dude you're SO right, love and caring ARE disgusting and we SHOULD cast a spell to drain all human emotion into your amulet.

Friend breakups are how you get lines like "Your friends? You think your friends are coming to save you? Don't make me laugh."

they should invent a high ponytail that doesn’t give me a headache and they should invent a low ponytail that doesn’t make me look like a miller’s apprentice going off to enlist in the continental army

who up momenting they mori

having audio processing issues is so humiliating like yeah i heard you and yeah i was actively listening but the problem is i dont know what the fuck you sayed

i was paying attention, i was listening, but you see the problem is....it didnt work

tumblr is like an abandoned space station & you all are the thing in the vents

not me though. im girl with tanktop