You got cum on your face you big disgrace

not what he said!!

We will we will fuck you

Promethean task: opposite of a Cassandraean task. You have the right information, and SOMEONE has to share it. But it's all in the delivery and if you're the person to identify the problem you WILL be hated forever.

Oedipal Task: (1) Attempting to avoid an unspeakably awful outcome and in doing so creating the circumstances that will bring it about. (2) Trying to solve an problem and discovering that you are in fact the problem you are trying to solve.

Odyssean task: you’ll complete it but it’ll take 20 times longer than it should and involve multiple side quests and mini-adventures

scientists are experimenting on cross-breeding a crab and a cheetah; things could go sideways real fast

I hate that when you’re stressed enough your body just starts falling apart. I think it should realize you’re already stressed and don’t need that and start functioning better actually

doing things at the right age is literally a made up concept. you can start/pursue anything at any age. btw.

do you ever feel yourself fail a charisma check in real time

I once said "you got it, boss" to a coworker and she pointed at me and said "don't you put that shit on me."

water sports should be for adults too.me and the blokes at university should be allowed to shoot eachother with water guns

t shirt that says I MISS EVERYONE I WAS EVER FLEETINGLY CLOSE TO SO MUCH THAT IT KILLS

Happy pride month to sleepwalking lesbians and their horrified wives, bisexuals who are fine with their sexuality but not fine with being in love with their high school bestie, JV soccer coaches, lesbians who would rather die to spite the girl they love than admit they're gay, church girlies who fell in love with a prophetess they made themselves, milfs who "don't believe in labels", bisexuals who fell in love with one guy in high school and spend the rest of their life going back to him until he's gone, lesbians who are entirely obsessed with their besties to the point of absorbing their traits like a twin in the womb, milf chasing bisexuals, lesbians who cannot be killed by fire nor by wolves nor (probably) by cancer, snarky sapphics, musical theater gays, little boys with two moms, backwards-baseball-hat lesbians, femme princesses who want to emulate their teammates, men fridged for their adjacence to a queer woman, mlm with a favorite lesbian, baby brothers who never figured it out, sapphics studying for the SATs, the children of women closeted in the 90s, and the straight girl whose leg they broke.

SORRY I FORGOT THE STRAWBERRY LUBE ENTHUSIASTS