stuff&nonsense

But one of my uncles in particular stood out to me. He is quiet and has a simple life; he lives in a modest home and has six children- four of whom are under the age of seven. They have goats and chickens in their courtyard, and there is constant hubbub. It took me time to realise his commitment to his wife because he is quiet and modest in that too. Slowly I realised that he never ever eats a meal without his wife. He will wait and wait and allow his food to become cold as she runs around and fusses over their children. His eldest daughter, Safiya, will often ask him to eat anyway but he refuses until his wife can eat with him because a meal is not enjoyable without her. He smiles and says ‘I’ve not eaten a roti without her for sixteen years and I don’t intend to start today’. Safiya rolls her eyes and brings her mum over then takes over whatever task her mum was doing.. but it’s evident that she has no problem doing this. The relationship her parents have is something she is very proud of and I know this because of how often she fondly spoke of it.

One night, she made me some chai over a small fire and we chatted until the early morning. She told me about her parents and how much her father values her mother. She was glowing with admiration and pride, and I couldn’t help but feel the same. Every morning before taking the children to school, he tells her mother she is as beautiful as a sparrow and every day she blushes and ushers him away- ‘jao!’ She says as she giggles. Their life is not easy though and Safiya explained to me that her mother can become silent and slow for days, unable to muster much joy. People talk about her in the village she says, but her father focuses only on his wife. In those times, he will ask his eldest children to look after the younger ones while he spends time alone with her. The two of them leave on his motorcycle, her arms wrapped tightly around him and her head resting gently on his shoulder. And then they come back and she slowly recovers.

Safiya told me many things; that she’d never ever heard her father raise his voice to her mother. That every Eid her father takes her shopping to pick a gift for her mother. That he agonises over it like it’s the first gift he’s ever gotten her. That her mother will call her husband at work every day at his lunch time, just to ensure he’d eaten. The list went on. She had a look of still contentment on her face the whole time she spoke of them. My heart surged and in my head I begged Allah to preserve and protect their love.

I’m 6’2 and weigh 180lbs

Severus: my apologies here it is

Dumbledore: you can’t even see half of your face. Maybe one less dramatic?

Severus: of course, headmaster.

Severus:

Dumbledore: I said less dramatic and preferably one where you’re not so alarmed

Severus: 

Dumbledore: did you have a photoshoot or something

Severus:

Dumbledore: what no Severus you are not in a boy band what is this pose wait you’re not in one are y-

Severus:

Dumbledore: are those special effects

Severus:

Dumbledore: cool but still a no

Severus:

Dumbledore: dramatic and very fitting for you but you can’t have fanart as your faculty photo who even is your fan and why don’t I have fanart

Severus:

Dumbledore: bold choice going with the profile, I admit I didn’t think you’d go for it, but you can’t have a dramatic death quote on your photo either this is a school for children they still have hope at least until their first class with you

Severus:

Dumbledore: *sigh*

Severus:

Dumbledore: why is the school on fire

Severus:

Dumbledore: is that a Death Eater meeting

Severus:

Dumbledore: oh my god 

Severus:

Dumbledore: seriously did you have a photoshoot

Severus:

Dumbledore: artsy but no

Severus:

Dumbledore: is that a screenshot

Severus:

Dumbledore: please stop

Severus:

Dumbledore: that’s it I’m taking away your photoshop privileges in the muggle studies computer lab

Severus:

Dumbledore: okay you know what fine that’ll do

Severus:

Dumbledore: no.

Severus:

Dumbledore: where are these all coming from

Severus:

Dumbledore: YOU KNOW WHAT NEVER MIND FORGET I ASKED YOU DON’T NEED A PHOTO

Severus:

We’re both Asian.

We went on a bus and sat in front of two girls.

I kissed behind his ear (and then he punched me in the arm, he’s shy in public) and I heard one of them whisper to the other something along the lines of “We get to see close up yaoi on here!”.

(Neither of us are even Japanese)

I was kinda offended, so I took my boyfriend by the hand and left.

It made us feel very uncomfortable.

I just want to say:

Our love and relationship isn’t for your entertainment.

Nor is it here for you to fetishize and sexualize.

Please just keep your “yaoi xDD” to just fiction, and please do not call us “yaoi”.

Many dismiss this as not a problem, which I find rude as they have never experienced this so they don’t really have much to say against this.

Thank you for reading.

- Submitted by Anonymous

because, like, that’s the seldom-portrayed romantic dream in the patriarchal hellscape that is our world, isn’t it?

a dude being willing to say, “i understand if you don’t feel the same way about me, and i’ll leave you alone forever about this if my attention is unwanted.”

The next day, he surprises her on her walk. He hands her a letter, asks that she read it, and then takes off.

When this happened to me after I had turned someone down IN REAL LIFE, the letter contained a passionate argument to the tune of “actually you’re wrong and you do like me and you should go out with me” and it was creepy af.

Darcy’s letter to Elizabeth starts with: “Be not alarmed, Madam, on receiving this letter, by the apprehension of its containing any repetition of those sentiments, or renewal of those offers, which were last night so disgusting to you”. He goes on to set the record straight about the stuff he didn’t do (as well as the stuff he did) which is *actually relevant* to Elizabeth. And he, as promised, doesn’t romance her further.

Darcy’s second proposal: “One word from you will silence me on this subject forever.”

His whole arc in the book is about learning to consider other people’s feelings and not just his own, but the fact that it’s expressed via who gets to talk and who is told to shut up is so, so telling. The first time around, he imposes his voice on her whether she wants it or not. The second time, he asks how she feels, and in exchange, offers her the gift of his silence.

But the selfish disdain? That was new information. That was the ‘oh shit’ moment that prompted the long letter, most of which boiled down to ‘look, I genuinely didn’t think it would hurt your sister’s feelings much and I am legit sorry about that but I love my friend and he doesn’t deserve your mother, okay, nobody deserves your mother especially not you and Jane who seem very nice and also here is the long and embarrassing story about why George Wickham’s feelings are not worth my concern or yours ever ever ever’. He may be a socially awkward idiot but he does care about people’s feelings and he wants her to know immediately that he is not the asshole she thinks he is in that regard.

And then they meet again and he practically turns himself inside out to prove that he listened and paid attention and he is being super considerate of the feelings of others at all times bc she was right and he was wrong and he is trying hard to be better about this. So he rescues Lydia not only for Elizabeth, but because he feels bad that he didn’t consider the further damage this asshole could do to other girls, he rescues Bingley and Jane’s romance because he wants to repair the hurt he caused both of them, and then he very humbly proposes again to Elizabeth, with appropriate concern about her feelings. 

The entire second half of the book is ‘Darcy Is More Considerate Of Others Because He Got Called On His Behaviour And Actually Listened’ and that’s the core of his appeal. Not because he’s a jerk in part one (and I’ve seen so many guys use Darcy as an example of Women Love Jerks Not Nice Guys), but because when someone actually explains to the socially inept egg ‘you are being a jerk and hurting people’s feelings’ his response is ‘oh, shit, I didn’t mean to do that, I will work super hard at never doing that again’. And then he follows through and does work super hard at it and makes the change. 

I put on my sunglasses, to hide my swollen eyes, over my tears. I cried all my makeup off. Went inside to have a milkshake. I don’t know why. I wanted something to drink as I figured out what I would do. I got a soda and a milkshake. Medium. The cashier looked at me and with a line around the corner of the counter he rushed away from the counter “Hold on “ he yelled to a coworker.

I filled my soda and went back and saw him looking all over. I go up and he gets close and says “I made it a large”.

That was seriously enough for me not to do it. His kindness. Someone went out of their way and as I went back in my car to cry I realized I could muster through a few other days. A few more weeks. Then I came down from that panicky high of anxiety, depression, and pain. I finished my shake. And it was enough time to let me feel better. I… I’m alive. I’ll make it through.

Try and be nice today. Tomorrow. Something as much as a smile. It helped so much.

Thank you man at McDonalds.

No one can be there for everyone all the time. Don’t put that pressure on yourself. But when you have an option to do something nice, even a smile? Go for it. Ya never know.

I called a friend, which didn’t ease me all that much. She was as depressed as I was, her words wouldn’t help.

But then I got up and a girl looked at me with smiling face. She went a hugged me, telling me everything would be alright.

That was the first time I ever realized what a strangers kindness could be so powerful.