tumblrslop

did you click on my blog expecting “jokes”?? Fool. I am the joke

one time i fell asleep with a half eaten bag of chips on my chest and while i was napping one of my cats jumped up on me and chewed up the bag and sent the chips flying everywhere and a bit later i woke up completely covered in shredded bag and chip pieces and the last thing i remembered i had started eating some tasty chips so for a short while i was convinced i had blacked out and gone into some sort of uncontrollable chip frenzy

they sell items at tjmaxx that even God is not aware of

I like when you click a link and it turns purple its like youre bruising it

Oedipus... You gagged us all with your mother fucking ingenuity, but it just wasn't enough for us to incest upon an encore. I'm sorry my darling but you're up for elimination

things are getting… spicy in the spice section

i’m going to be really honest with you guys i think the tendency to read the absolute worst possible intentions into every action you don’t agree with is getting too automatic and it’s eating you from the inside out

you look like the kinda girl who'd open up ms paint back in the day select the spray paint tool and click and hold to watch it slowly turn into a perfect circle

unwritten by natasha bedingfield is how allergy medicine is supposed to make you feel

I bought a timer lock box for my weed pen. I will be high in 7 days and 1 minute