Sex, drugs, rock'n'roll. Without the sex or drugs.

constantly making airy offhand comments to my preferred younger son about how he’s next in line for the throne after his brother but he still hasn’t killed my detested firstborn for me. kids these days have no fucking initiative.

I keep sending them off on “boar hunts” together and wouldn’t you know? they keep coming back after with big smiles and boar heads and the unmistakable stench of brotherly camaraderie. what sick sad days are these!

it became so beautiful to me after learning the actual name of it.

“This would be deleted off the SCP wiki in a day for being too cliche” is my favorite kind of real thing.

dig how Portugal is looking at her

Imagine a bee rn in a hive muttering "the beekeeper is not real because he is not intervening or helping me at all with this disastrous relationship I have with another bee". now imagine that's you talking about the good lord. now imagine a dog with a propeller hat on

is anyone imagining a dog with a propeller hat on

source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crush,_Texas

you could just do shit back then

texas is still like this

The crash happened on September 15 1896, which was a Tuesday!

you forgot to identify the pink one

you forgot to identify the pink one

Adam & Eve Silicone G-Gasm Rabbit based on the curved vibrating tip, dual motors, 7 vibration modes, and fully waterproof pink silicone casing

@identifying-cars-in-posts what's the car tho

2011-2014 Ford F-150

there is still time. there is still time. until your bones are in the fucking ground there is still time.

A desperate cleric slamming every healing spell so hard to bring someone back to life the ground is forced to grow plants and flowers around the body.

Decades later, guarded by a forest of roses and thorns, lies a corpse refusing to rot.