four alarm fire

Your friends don't secretly hate you

You're not a bad person for things you did and said months or years ago that you now recognize as bad

You aren't cringe for being excited about things

You don't talk too much

If you feel sick from intrusive thoughts/rsd please sip on some water, get a blanket or plush to cuddle, put on some music or a video that makes you feel happy

lovely I'm here to tell you you're more than just bringing a smile to people's faces. you're more than only existing when someone needs you. you're more than being a free therapist, a shoulder to cry on, or a person for other people.

I know that a lot of us with BPD- and other disorders such as anxiety, DPD, paranoia etc- can get really worried when those we care about don’t reply- or anyone! We worry they hate us, are angry, are leaving us, are hurt. So, here’s a list of possible reasons why they may not be replying that aren’t those! 

They’re asleep. This is kinda subjective to the time they’re in, but this included naps! Sometimes people fall asleep suddenly, or fall asleep before your reply

They’re busy. They made need to focus on something, or not be allowed on their phone. Or, they want to save their reply to you for when they can put their full attention on you and give a proper reply

They’re unsure how to reply yet. sometimes people need time to think of how to reply, and want to give a proper one

They don’t feel like talking to anyone right now. It’s not that they don’t wanna talk to you specifically- they may just be socially drained or want to focus on themselves! 

They’re not in a mental place where they can reply to you. This includes perhaps they’re dissociating, or can’t think straight to reply 

Their phone is dead. Plain and simple

Their wifi dropped. Same again 

They’re taking pleasure time. Video games, reading anything. Sometimes people need time to relax- it doesn’t mean that they don’t enjoy talking to you, they just wanna fully immerse themselves in their activity.

They’re interacting with someone/in a situation where it’s not appropriate to use their phone. Maybe at dinner, church, a lesson, anything

They suddenly have to deal with something urgent.

They forgot. I know this one is scary/hurts- but it doesn’t mean you’re not important to them! Maybe they saw your message whilst busy, thought they need to reply later, then forgot. Some people also have memory issues that mean they forget to reply to things.

They’re not logged into what you talk in. This goes esp for facebook/tumblr

me: oh my god