sign my tits, tom james!

*trying to pitch public transportation to Americans* it’s like a legal form of texting while driving

Laughing my ass off thinking about the cottage bedroom sex scene because Ilya is lying there completely lost in the fucking sauce no thoughts head empty mouth open eyes half closed on another plane of existence while Shane mid-sex is like Okay it's time for an existential conversation about how we ended up together. And expects Ilya to seriously engage him. Meanwhile Ilya is like woaw I think I hauve covid

i dont even know where the bit ends and i begin

ilya posts a video on instagram with the caption “my husband and the dog he didn’t want” and it’s shane cradling anya like a baby outside the vet’s office whispering “you were so brave, honey. we’ll get you a pup cup on the drive home and you can sit in my lap while papa drives. you did such a good job when the scary lady poked you. such a good girl” and people everywhere lose their fucking minds