sunflower

Harry had seen her from across the room, and as cliche as that was, he took the stride towards her. She glowed, a dazed smile on her clear face as her eyes drifted off. He knew that she was content with her life, even by the simple glimpse of her sitting alone, basking in her own company. Y/N seemed to change a bit but he still knew that it was his Y/N. Sure, a little trim at the ends of her hair or even the different shade of nail polish she wore, it didn’t change the fact that Harry knew it was still the Y/N he had known for years. 

When Charlotte announced to their group that she had invited Y/N, everyone was stepping on stones around Harry, aware of their past. But Harry shrugged, unaware on what to feel and instead, took a quick gulp from the drink in his hands. No one complained because everyone missed her and that included Harry. 

-

Y/N matched the familiar voice with a familiar face. With a modest smile curling on the beckons of her lips, she shook her head. “All yours.”

Harry nodded, obliging and sitting down next to his ex. “So… how’s life?”

Y/N looked up at the ceiling, smile still present as she breathed in the party air. “It’s great, H. Genuinely great.”

And there it was. The truth that Harry expected rolling sweetly off the rims Y/N’s tongue, she was shining like the lights flashing around. Harry watched her, not responding. It was only until Y/N bothered looking back at Harry that he spoke up.

“So what’d you get Charlotte?”

“Oh, a collection of hair accessories. Berets, beanies, hair scarves, all those things. At first, I didn’t know what to get her but with a quick Instagram stalking and remembering that she was complaining one time about hair accessories, I figured it would suit.” Y/N shrugged nonchalantly. “What about you?”

“Brought ‘er and ‘er boyfriend a trip to Rome.”

Y/N scoffed at his easy response, she shouldn’t be as surprised as she is because he did have all the money in the world. Now, it seemed like her gift was nothing compared to his. 

“Holy shit.”

Harry nodded. “You’ve always been so thoughtful with your gifts,” he complimented. Y/N laughed.

“And you’ve always been so expensive with your gifts.”

“Well, what can I say? When you’ve got the money…” He joked as Y/N rolled her eyes because although he was teasing, they both knew it was true. 

Their conversation shifted to silence. Harry stared at her, pointing out all her features close up where he was able to point out more small changes. She was too busy to notice the lack of talk until all she heard were their soft breaths. Y/N’s eyes met with Harry. 

“What are you looking at?”

“What do you mean?”

Y/N took a quick drink from the glass before shaking her head. “You were staring.”

“Do you blame me?” Another shot. She was almost finished by then, drinking up her euphoria. Meanwhile, Harry barely sipped on his glass, running it cold throughout the night. Y/N doesn’t know what has gotten into her but she blames the blast from the past, it’s almost become foreign.

She gulped, her head held high. “I’m sorry by the way.” Y/N paused, taking her time to stare at Harry, her eyes turning to a blurred bloodshot. “At the start, I thought that it’d be sweet if things just stayed the same, y’know? We were at the prime of our relationship.”

Harry knew Y/N when she becomes drunk. She tends to talk, talk about everything that her mind had bottled up. When they say drunk words speak sober thoughts, Y/N was the epitome of that saying. She ranted, her mouth running like rushing water. And all Harry would do was listen with the occasional nod and so Harry treated this occasion like no other.

“But this time, I’m at the prime of myself. Can’t you see? I’m never coming back down. I’m never going back. I don’t think you knew this but there were so many times in our relationship where I sat back and asked myself, ‘Do you know who you are?’ And sometimes, I couldn’t even answer,” she confessed, her voice pitched yet a passionate yearn laced in her tone. Harry swallowed her sayings, trying to understand and remember if he has heard her. 

And he remembered. One time, Harry had walked in their bathroom where Y/N stood in front of the mirror with only a towel supporting her body. She was looking at her reflection, repeating the very same words before Harry questioned if she was okay. With a simple smile and kiss to his lips, he was convinced everything was perfect. 

“Can you believe it? Got a promotion, new apartment, going to the gym - all that type of adult crap!” Harry snapped back into reality as she continued. When she spoke about all her accomplishments, she shined so brightly it blinded Harry a bit. She became this light and Harry was finally able to step into it, realising how better off she was without him. It was like their relationship was dark and she was finally able to hang these lights up. 

Harry couldn’t deny his happiness for her but there was a part of him hoping that striding over to his ex after months that there would be some sort of misery. Misery that he could relate on. The pathetic ‘I miss you’ and ending the night with their bodies tangled together. He missed her and wanted her back. 

But after this, he knew that it was impossible. The way she spoke her drunken words was enough for Harry to stop himself from pouring his heart out. Instead, she was running through his heart and creating her way in life without him. 

Y/N was humming by now, leaving Harry to listen to her untuned la’s and da’s. All the hope Harry had for a new start was shattered through a jumble of Y/N’s intoxicated expressions.