starless eyes, for heavens sake

little bit of advice: if you can't tell if a post online is a joke, you should always assume that it is not a joke and the op is either an idiot with an inflated ego or is lying on purpose for malicious reasons. in both cases the best course of action is to aggressively correct them and insult them, maybe even threaten to kill them

never seen anyone fucking kill a man on reddit

i’m in trenches you’ve never heard of

the crazy thing is they literally played a paper kingdom song less than a year ago no one can say it’s impossible

anything to keep putting off early sunsets

*dirty talking* you’ve been a very bad boy and im just going to straight up kill you now

hey um so your boyfriend got stuck in my moat again... yeah he tried to siege me again. can you come pick him up. before he gets eaten by the saltwater crocodiles. I'd do it myself but it's kind of gross in there and i dont wanna get eaten by saltwater crocodiles :/

My bugs. I mean they’re their own huge bugs. But they are my bugs

like the things i need to do to him the geneva convention hasn’t even thought to address