haunt me

i be like “it is what it is” then be pissed off for like 4 years

“global birth rates are declining”…… yeah and so are the reblog rates on tumblr.com too, so what now

[very clearly indulging the urge] im fighting the urge

if "29" is your idea of an older woman you have a flickering pale aura and you will not survive daylight saving time

okay but chess terminology is like. you pinned your opponent's hung knight and now you can mate? oh im sure

Male loneliness this, male loneliness that. Have they tried lobotomies? Tranquilizers? Being fingered by medical professionals? Tearing the yellow wallpaper off the walls of the attic room where your husband keeps you locked up?

I think the best most human thing in the world is strangers doing a silly thing together

The three pillars of humanity, in no particular order, are Joy, Absurdity, and Sharing

they just don’t make stores with tvs in the window all playing the same channel for you to stop and watch on the street when something horrifically terrible and/or amazingly awesome is happening anymore